tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2701103332541293267.post5715655218006936409..comments2023-10-02T02:51:46.586-07:00Comments on diabetes loss and adoption: What is this feeling and where did it come from?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091362651489461567noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2701103332541293267.post-37495505240250477932008-06-28T11:11:00.000-07:002008-06-28T11:11:00.000-07:00Dear Lyn, I have asked myself ALL of your question...Dear Lyn, <BR/><BR/>I have asked myself ALL of your questions...and then some. I think that each time I cannot sleep/stop crying, I am being flooded with truth because I am ready for it.<BR/><BR/>So keep asking your questions-- growing pains are just that-- and your answers will surface when you're ready.<BR/><BR/>Turns out most dads don't dote on babies as much as we do (not even my DH, who is the baby whisperer!)-- so moms usually do the lion's share of newborn care, and dads look forward to when the baby starts *doing something*! If you work outside the home (OTH) can you deal with near-sleepless nights for months on end? Do keep in mind that drug-addicted and/or tramuatized babes do not sleep as well as normal newborns. And then again, loving foster-to-adopt parents have the ability to make a HUGE difference in a child's life, and the earlier the better. Do you have to work OTH? Have you made a pros and cons list yet? Can you afford to be a SAHM right now or are there things you still need/want to do with your income? Not that it is about material things, but if you want to have the nursery/room just so for your little girl, then start building it. That's what I did, and I swear to you: When the nursery was ready (albeit with a crib on layaway at Big Lots), the call came. But then again, we got the call two days after we were licensed. That is just the sad reality of living near Denver.<BR/><BR/>As for being too picky, there's no such thing imho (in my humble opinion). We've had other foster parents look down their noses at us for wanting to foster-adopt and one foster mom said to me very condescendingly, "Oh, if I was in it just to adopt I would have had to go through 14 kids to get to that one baby!" JUST TO ADOPT?! Just to stop getting a check for the care of a child and take on the LIFELONG responsibility of her care? Oh, well, EXCUSE ME for living! LOL! Besides the fact that I guarantee she took in every child the agency called her with and that is not our plan for our family. Sometimes foster parents who do not have biological children (a.k.a. "bios") do not understand our need to protect our "core" family, so seek out foster parents who have bios (hey, like me! you already did! :>D ).<BR/><BR/>That is great news about your county! You picked a great place to raise a family! Would it be possible to stay in the program you're in but go outside your county? As in, get on an openings list in another county/state? I don't know if you would be able or willing to manage potentially long drives outside of your county for visits and possibly other apppointments but it's a thought.<BR/><BR/>I highly recommend one parent being a SAHP for very young foster babies and children who need to experience attachment/bonding in a stable home. It's not that both parents working OTH doesn't give stability, but they sometimes need above and beyond what daycare or preschool can provide. You may find that you will want to make the change when you grow your family, just like you would maybe decide not to go back to work after maternity leave with a bio-- you can do the same with that foster baby/child that rocks your world! <BR/><BR/>Sadly, you will get the call one day. It will be one of the worst days of another mother's life and one of the best of yours. It will come... and when it does, you can take comfort in knowing that everything is unfolding exactly as it's supposed to be (at least that's what I have decided). Keep trusting, keep asking, and keep blogging...Love, Jessa<BR/><BR/>P.s. I imagine that your boys and husband will love having a little sister and daughter. I know mine are loving our Baby Grrl. She is truly a protected princess and loves airplanes, cars and trucks already! As it turns out, girls come with a motor, too-- Mara loves to drive things around the house with her "bruh bers". Daddy is her soft place to fall and the one she runs to and says, "bup! bup!" whenever she wants to be carried. YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH FOR WANTING A DAUGHTER. I believe God put the wish into our hearts.Jessa Feehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04525506759433885956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2701103332541293267.post-82266241570398357912008-06-14T10:06:00.000-07:002008-06-14T10:06:00.000-07:00It's just a rut, I get in them too. It always seem...It's just a rut, I get in them too. It always seems like forever before they blow over, but they do. Don't doubt yourself. Keep listening to your heart and I'm sure you'll find the way you are suppose to go!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00566167803139986546noreply@blogger.com