Crap My Kids Do

This post is more for me and my memory - I want to remember someday all the funny things my kids are doing at this age. Ryan - age 3 - at the ball field yesterday he was talking to another child and his grandma. I wandered over to retrieve him and the Grandma said "oh Connor's fine, he's telling us that he's 5 and going to kindergarten in the fall" sigh. "Connor lies. his name is Ryan, he's 3 and he's not going to kindergarten" Girlfriend - age 2 - can't say booty. so singing "shake your booty" only ever comes out "shake your bobby" ha! She's also my little mini-me! This weekend I was finishing my dinner and she was standing next to me directing me "you not done mom! Eat you corn! you. are. not. done." So funny! She loves to be in my space and thinks she is big! wants to have coffee with the ladies and maybe even a cocktail! Not yet little girl! Little Miss - age 2 - Little Miss is a comedian - people smart, reads people well so I have no doubts I'll forget how funny she is but I want to remember this past weekend when we made huge strides in bonding with her (it's good for a child to bond to their caregiver - even if temporary - so that they know how to bond and will bond to future caregivers if not the same as current) anyway someone at church asked her if they could take her home with them (people always do this thinking its funny and it really bugs me on lots of levels) anyway for the rest of the day she was very clingy - in a constant state of a hug with me. she never left my side and sat on my lap as much as I'd allow her to. this is HUGE for Little Miss who before would welcome going with anyone, especially a man. and one more thing - Little Miss discovered swimming this weekend! She is fearless in the water! A true little water bug! She is jumping off the diving board at the pond, pops up and giggles! I bet she's swimming without a floaty by the summers end! Ethan - age 10 - right now Ethan is perpetual movement (unmedicated for the last week of school so he can enjoy all the food treats they give out) so yesterday when going up to bat he took a huge leap to get into the batter box - Rebecca called it his gallop...and later called him a gazelle because he takes such long strides on itty bitty legs - love this boy! he also has taken up snuggling with the chickens - like they're pets Lane Michael - age 10 - if I'm truly honest, Lane Michael isn't a funny kid. Lane Michael is serious and refined more than funny - his attempts at funny are usually awkward and sometimes inappropriate - but what I want to remember is that at the beginning of the 3rd grade he was figuring his own insulin. He can look at the box, measure out a serving and divide out how many units he needs for that serving and add to it any correction dose. He is simply amazing!

The Best Kind of Friends

Ethan and Lane Michael had a chance this weekend to spend the night with my Mom and Step Dad, it was good for them. They had a great time. They didn't have school Monday so they stayed over Sunday night and hung out there on Monday. So since Mom had an early meeting, the boys all got to hang with their Grandpa Jack for the day...but we couldn't possibly leave Grandpa Jack with no cigarettes and 3 little boys (my nephew was there too). So after Todd and I took our little 3 home for bed, Mom headed to town for some smokes. Ethan decided he should ride along. Some of the best talks are had in the car. They started talking about friends and who was Ethan's friends and who did Lane Michael hang out with. Then Mom asked Ethan if he and Lane Michael are friends and without missing a beat Ethan said "we're the best kind of friends, we're soul mates."

Boys of Fall

My Boys of Fall. Oh be still my heart! LITTLE MONSTER

Sweet, kind, handsome, funny and look at the size of those hands! He has my Dad's hands...My Dad's hands were square, muscular, strong. And never once raised to us. And in comparison to the rest of Ethan his hands are massive, square and thick. In football they call Ethan "Little Monster" we're told it's because when the coach tells him to blow through the line, he blows through (he's first string on the line and second string running back)! They underestimate his power because he's so small. But then he surprises us all and takes on even the biggest boys! At church the other night, a big kid (probably middle school) stopped Ethan on our way out the door and said "you're the beast at football right?" Ethan's been beaming for days! TACO

Smart, funny, lives in his own show tune, this boy...my oh my! At football they call him Taco...we have no idea why. Lane plays first string on the line and is second string Center. And in recent practices he's been the Tackling Taco! Known to bring down the big boys during a scrimmage and very rarely sits the bench! It's such a big difference from last year when they only played a few plays during the last quarter. I'm sad to see football come to a close but so excited to get a good schedule going!

Raising Brothers

Last night, I had the pleasure of witnessing one of my favorite things about brothers. Lane Michael was walking a few feet in front of us, he was unhappy because we had once again had to remind him that not every conversation (this one about downs syndrome) was about him. Ethan caught up to him and put his hand on Lane's back and was whispering something in his ear, I could hear him enough to know it was rapping/singing and occasionally Lane Michael would laugh at whatever Ethan had said. They walked like this for nearly a block before they saw Schneiders Market and took of running/racing to pick their treat for the night. such a special moment in their life, and I got to observe it.

Quick Update on My Most Recent Posts

Ethan is having his tubes put in on Friday.

We got a letter today from Next county CPS, saying they had received our application for child placement and are ready to begin the homestudy process, so we should call them to set up a time for them to come to our home.

We also have a crib and high chair in our home and the offer of a changing table. Well on our way!

Permanent Tubes.

After the boys were born, we were sure they were perfect. Absolutely wonderful. We were in love and couldn't imagine that anything would be wrong with either of them. Then we had his hearing tested. After the first test the tech went to retrieve a new machine. She checked both boys a second time. Called in a 2nd tech and the 2nd tech tested both boys. Ethan was deaf. He was completely deaf in one ear and mostly deaf in the other ear. After that we had appointments and retesting...lots of retesting. At 13 months old Ethan got a set of tubes. Fixed the problem...temporarily. He walked soon after that and spoke (in his own language) after that. Lane Michael had to translate for a very long time but eventually he came around. Things were going well for awhile, really well and then about two years ago he started having a hard time hearing, became hard to understand and spoke loudly...well, more loudly. Took him to the doctor, the audiologist and finally the ENT. A 2nd set of tubes. Over the holidays I noticed he wasn't saying the first OR last sounds of all the words and was starting to sound "airy"...it's hard to understand but his words weren't as solid as they usually are. Back to the doctor. This time they're putting permanent tubes in....doctor said it's obviously a recurring problem and will need tubes consistently so we'll just put more permanent tubes in. Doctor said there is a lot of fluid on the one ear and even more on the other...a significant problem. Hope this clears things up for good!

Celiac Disease

Lane Michael's blood test came back (regarding celiac disease) and once again his markers are higher...we have an appointment on the 26th with GI at 3:15...she wants to look at growth, stomach issues (pain, constipation etc) and discuss his next biopsy and get that set up. The first year we faced this I was a nervous wreck, I didn't know how we'd make this life change, I didn't know what to feed him or how to take him to other people's house's, I cried, and I mourned, I know this disease isn't the end of the world...but it sure felt like it. The second year, I was ready, I thought we'd surely get a diagnosis, I just knew I could take this on, I could make this change and make it good. This would be ok. This year, I don't know how to feel. I don't want this. I've been thinking of all the changes we'll have to make. The foods we'll have to give up. All his favorite foods, like pancakes, donuts, spaghetti, lo mein...Lane Michael could live off lo mein. I'm sad again. I'm not ok with this. What would we feed him on vacations? Who could I trust to care for him in an emergency? Todd is saying that the change is too expensive for everyone to make, that we can get gluten free for him and gluten for us...that's not fair to him. I don't want him to be more different than he already is. I will pray.

A.D.D.

We should have done this MONTHS ago. Ethan started Ritalin (I know I said something earlier but now I want to update how it's going). He started it on the 9th and I can't even begin to describe the difference we've seen. He's still the same sweet Ethan, still active, energetic, fun, loving. But now, he's also confident, he smiles differently after school. It isn't just happy to be home but it's an obvious feeling of success.

Homework is no longer a chore, he doesn't spend 2 hours of his evening doing homework. He spends 30 minutes sitting and then he has the rest of his evening to himself. He walks in the door and instead of asking to do it later, he gets it out (without being prompted). He sits at the bar and reads to me, before I sat with him and struggled through every. single. word. But now, he asks for help on maybe 3 words in the whole book. His spelling tests have done a 180, instead of missing every word, he might miss 3 on the first day and the day before the test, he rarely misses any! He's always been good at math but now he can even read the instructions and it only takes him a few minutes to complete the whole work sheet!

At school, he used to lose recess time to finish his class work and most of his papers were done with the teachers assistance but now, he works independently and is able to complete his work on time, and he's now the first done with math and has only missed one answer since being on medications.

Our school does something called a weekly assessment. This is a weekly test taken independently testing reading, math and other crucial scores. Ethan's test scores have not just improved, they've improved 100%!!! If he was getting a 42% before, it's not an 86%, and that was the lowest grade on the assessment!! 3 of his scores were 100%!!! I see a bright future ahead for this boy!

However I could kick myself for not putting him on the meds before now!

This & That

Debt Free Living

In the interest of making big changes in our lives, we made a big decision last night that we've been struggling with for nearly a year. We "own" a 4 wheeler...and by own I mean we are paying for a 4-wheeler. A 4 wheeler that lives in the country at my Mom's house. We enjoy it...the 2-3 times a year we use it. It's not worth $176 every month. We regret ever buying it. We received a lump sum of just over $9000 a few years ago and used that money to pay off my van, and instead of then sticking that money toward other debts or savings, we bought the 4-wheeler. Todd had always wanted one and I had always wanted to get him one. what a waste. So now we're hoping to break even and sell it for what we owe. ugh. But on the flip side, we could have $176 free up every month which gets us $176 closer to our goal! Now to find a buyer!

Also, we now have one credit card paid off and only have a balance of $1250 on the other credit card! This is AMAZING!

I love watching this all unfold. It's an amazing journey starting from a place of such waste and true "living in the moment" to get here....thinking ahead, putting thought into our financial moves, thinking long term and not responding to immediate satisfaction.

Ethan this weekend

This weekend I had the following conversation with Ethan (it's recorded on my Mom's facebook page but I'd like to have it here too):

me: even though we're hanging out at Grandma's house tonight, she won't be there

Ethan: why?

me: she's going to a party

Ethan: what kind of party?

me: a grandma party

Ethan: what will they do there?

me: dance

Ethan: Grandma can't dance!

me: Grandma's a good dancer!

Ethan: yeah like this *imitates a grandma dancing with a walker*

Ethan: who will she dance with?

me: the grandpas

Ethan: unacceptable!!!

Blessed Beyond Belief

Today we received a TRUE blessing. The boys missed the bus, so I just figured I'd take them on my way to work. No Problem. We walked out the door at 7:48, enough time to get them to school and be at work right on time. My van didn't start. crap. Not good. Tried again. Nothing. So Todd {since he was home (blessing number 1)} put his Blazer nose to nose with my van and charged my battery...20 minutes later it still wouldn't start, so Todd put everyone in his truck and delivered them to school and me to work, then went to get my battery to have it tested to see if it was good (blessing number 2 - we thought it was only the battery) (blessing number 3 - - we have the money in an emergency fund if something big is wrong). The battery was fine...but there was corrosion on the battery not allowing the power out of the battery. (blessing number 4 - - nothing was wrong). Todd cleaned off the battery and all was good. We didn't dodge a bullet this morning, God was our bullet proof vest!

Life is Good.

Life isn't always good. Today it is. Ethan started Ritalin this week....he was on it last year but we took him off it.

It was bed time and he had been on the medication for about a month at that point, in conjunction with the med he got a nightly dose of melatonin to help him sleep. We were all in the middle of something, I was dealing with a screaming baby, Lane Michael was getting bed snack and Todd was doing homework. He got the wrong med (Todd or I gave him this med and accidentally grabbed the wrong bottle)...so basically he got a double dose of Ritalin. Ugh, what a night! We called poison control, they said he would be fine but we'd have to just play the night by ear, kind of hold on and hope for the best. So we did. And what a night it was. He woke up a few hours after he had gone to bed, crying that there were spiders on him...crawling on him, attacking him...and the aliens were coming...coming in from the windows...he wasn't safe there...we took him to our bed, hoping he could sleep if he felt safe...the "spiders" started falling from the ceiling, trying to get to him. After much guilt, and diliberation we decided, I would spend the night up with him, waiting out the halluciations. The "bugs" chased him through the night, at one point, there was no floor, it was falling away...the "bees" were nearly as big as he was...he chased through the house with them, after them, from them...never really seemed scared of these things...just couldn't sit, lay or stand still...the "spiders" might start their antics again. Finally at nearly 4 am the hallucinations started to subside...but by that time I was rattled, shaken, scared...I couldn't have a repeat, I couldn't put my boy through that again. I wouldn't. His education is vital but at what price? We disposed of the meds, talked to the doctor we were seeing at the time, and looked again at alternative methods. We tried educational drills, working and re-working, diet changes, sleep patterns and extra activity. But the bottom line, he doesn't have ADHD. He has ADD. There is a huge difference. He lacks impulse control but is well behaved, he's active but not uncontrollable, he sits still for class but can't keep his head in the game long enough to apply what he knows.
So last week we started the meds back up. Thursday morning we gave him his med and Thursday after school he nearly glowed as he told me how he finished his work with the rest of the class...something he's NEVER been able to do! He did his spelling words and on the first try, got 6 of 10 right! Another first. I see the need, I see the difference.

Fighting for Ethan

In January Ethan had two appointments with a great Doctor to see what we could do to help him in school. Dr. Z diagnosed Ethan with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). It wasn't a surprise and it certainly wasn't a hard pill to swallow, we've always known Ethan was active and concentration was never his strong suit. We're ok with that, we don't mind his activity level and he's a very well behaved little boy (which is uncommon with ADD...most are too impulsive to be well behaved). But we weren't surprised or even disappointed with this diagnosis. The problem being, our insurance doesn't cover any appointment having to do with ADD! Seriously. So he got one month of meds and now...now we can get the meds but we can't get the script since we are self pay for this. Ugh. But yesterday at the parent teacher conference we sat down with his teacher Mrs E (we love her) and the school guidance counselor Mr S and talked about what we can be doing for Ethan. He meets all the standards to go on to first grade and is doing well in school! She said he's smart and it's not that he can't learn, it's that he can't focus long enough to learn the stuff! This is wonderful news! Now we just have to find a way to get him back on meds and he'll be all set! Yeah Ethan!

Ethan gave me his wedding toast...

You know that old saying "kids say the darnedest things" So so true. I'm sarcastic, and instead of yelling or saying how I feel, I usually make a snide, sarcastic or snarky comment about how I feel. It's my defense mechanism. My kids have not only caught on to my use of sarcasm but have started using it on me! Lane Michael especially. Most recently he has told Todd things like "Change your attitude, Snarky" and "You are a sad sad little man" he told me "You are a sick sick woman" yes son, I am. He has a drier sense of humor and doesn't live to make people laugh, he's usually uncomfortable with people laughing at him or even with him. Ethan however lives to make people laugh...with or at him! He doesn't care as long as people are laughing. But this weekend, he wasn't laughing. he was serious. this is no joking matter. We were coming home from Urbana and Andy (my nephew) was feeding Ryan a bottle. This is the conversation between Ethan and Andy:
Andy: I love babies
Ethan: me too. but I'm never having any because I'm never getting married.
Andy: me neither
Ethan: welcome to the club dude!
Andy: thanks
Ethan: If I ever do get married, I'll run away and if I do come back, I'll slap her and tell her she's a mistake and then run away again.
someone will have to warn his wife to lock the doors when he runs away. I feel obligated.

Six Things about Ethan!

This seems to be the perfect time to record 6 things I want to remember about Ethan:


1. He's cute...not photogenic cute but handsome. He has dark hair, blue eyes, a crooked smile and will be an amazing man, at whatever he chooses to be amazing at.

2. Ethan has always had this amazing physical ability. He's strong and coordinated. He loves to skateboard and play ball but more than loving it, he has an amazing natural talent.

3. Ethan wants to be a scientist. He wants to study animals....he loves toads, snakes, frogs and turtles...yuck!

4. Ethan found every toad at Grandma Laura's house and loved them dearly...they all have names and spent the summer being toted around from one side of the yard to the other...RIP Butch

5. He's a good big brother...he loves Ryan, is helpful, kisses on him, holds him and can soothe him when no one else can! He's protective and loving...we saw a whole new wonderful side to Ethan when Ryan was born.

6. He jumped off the roof this summer. Srsly? Yeh for real! He was aiming for the trampoline and missed it, but his foot hit the metal frame...3 broken bones! But since he doesn't feel much pain, he seemed to be fine...hm.