Friday, October 23, 2009

A Day I Thought I'd Never See...

This morning was was a bad morning but it was perfect because it was mine. The boys wouldn't eat fast enough, the baby cried, my husband yelled but it was perfect. My children go to school, are able to learn and be functioning 6 year olds. I have a baby, and he cries, and he's spoiled, and always needs a diaper change and they're expensive and breast feeding is frustrating and confusing and my body doesn't always work the way I want it to. And Todd is my husband, and he's cranky and moody and I sometimes blame Iraq but he came home and he gets up with the baby at night. So my bad morning was perfect. So perfect that I was even able to step outside of the bad morning, the undone dishes, the vomit on the floor, the rain on the windows (2 months late) and realize what a perfect morning this was. While Todd was driving and we didn't have Baby Ryan, life was good, money in the bank and we plugged along but in the morning it was just me, I barely had time for a shower, let alone make-up. I would dream of the day when Todd would be home with us in the mornings, we would drink coffee and talk about what we'd do after work, I'd hold the baby, kiss this kids and be off to the I have that, and I wouldn't trade it for anything...even money in the bank!

Monday, October 19, 2009

A Submissive Wife...

I didn't know I had it in me until I started feeling the tug at my heart, to be submissive to my husband. Do I always "give it up" when he desires? No. Do I always make the decisions he would like for me to? No. But I notice that sometimes when I blatently ignore him when he has put his foot down it doesn't work out like I would like for it to. I have loaned things out when he has said not to and they never get returned...and it's usually something we need. My husband has our best interest at heart, and doesn't allow feeling to get involved. He can see things in a different light...I don't want to say a jaded light but he makes decisions based on facts and concrete evidence as opposed to feelings. I am better with financial decisions so he leaves most financial decisions to me but I discuss everything with him and involve him as much as needed, and if he has a question, he doesn't hesitate to ask. I take care of the stuff that he doesn't care about...what the kids wear, the shoes I get them. We've had several big decisions to make in our marriage. He's from Missouri, we had to decide if we wanted to live in Ohio or Missouri, I told him how I felt about it and he made an educated decision after a lot of discussions, and prayer. Decisions like that, decisions that will pop up later on he will have the final say because he is the head of my house appointed by God. Some decisions that he will make include when the boys can date, drive, when and where we'll move, when the boys can work a job, how much we'll help with their first car and college...I have very strong opinions about all of these things but ultimately the decision is his. I struggle with this daily but daily I make the decision to be submissive to my husband.

Six Things About Lane Michael

1. Lane Michael likes school, he's excited to go every morning and last year when I asked the principal how he was doing socially, I was told not to worry...he's a bit of a social butterfly...everyone knows him and really enjoys him!

2. He loves TV...loves it...obsessively! It's hard to make him turn it off, he loves it, he can't help it. He would rather watch TV than do anything! He would never turn it off if that was an option...he even fights me when I tell him to turn it's strange the love he has for TV

3. Lane loves to play board games...he'll take his turn and my turn both, he doesn't care if I'm actually playing as long as I'm sitting with him...and every once in awhile ask who's winning...he's pretty honest about it too! LOL

4. He's a morning person...up before any one else and very happy about it...he tiptoes past our door and heads straight for the watch cartoons of course!

5. Lane is really REALLY clumsy! He falls UP the stairs at least once a least! It's hysterical!

6. He's really sensitive...he doesn't want to be laughed at and it really hurts his feelings if he is but has no problem laughing at others. He's also easy to cry...Todd and I aren't so dealing with his sensitive side is hard for us...but I've noticed that if we don't brush him off but validate his feelings, he comes around much quicker!

That's my boy...6 things about his super sized personality!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Six Things about Ethan!

This seems to be the perfect time to record 6 things I want to remember about Ethan:

1. He's cute...not photogenic cute but handsome. He has dark hair, blue eyes, a crooked smile and will be an amazing man, at whatever he chooses to be amazing at.

2. Ethan has always had this amazing physical ability. He's strong and coordinated. He loves to skateboard and play ball but more than loving it, he has an amazing natural talent.

3. Ethan wants to be a scientist. He wants to study animals....he loves toads, snakes, frogs and turtles...yuck!

4. Ethan found every toad at Grandma Laura's house and loved them dearly...they all have names and spent the summer being toted around from one side of the yard to the other...RIP Butch

5. He's a good big brother...he loves Ryan, is helpful, kisses on him, holds him and can soothe him when no one else can! He's protective and loving...we saw a whole new wonderful side to Ethan when Ryan was born.

6. He jumped off the roof this summer. Srsly? Yeh for real! He was aiming for the trampoline and missed it, but his foot hit the metal frame...3 broken bones! But since he doesn't feel much pain, he seemed to be

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Baby wearing

I love baby wearing! Ryan loves it too! I can still do all my daily activities while he rides along, happy as can be! Ryan gets overstimulated very easily, wearing him helps to minimize how much others hold him and even talk to him, he still gets to be held but isn't constantly being stimulated by others wanting to hold and play with him. He's much younger than he looks and people tend to expect more from him...trying to coax a constant smile (he's a very smiley baby so this is easy) but they also expect babbling, and he's just now getting there. He's a happy baby but truly enjoys his down time...his "me" time! LOL! Anyway, baby wearing helps...a lot! People in stores, on streets and other random places, don't seem to "talk" to him as much, they respect my personal space enough to leave us alone...don't get me wrong, I LOVE people admiring Man Cub...but he doesn't appreciate it the way I do...and if he doesn't appreciate the attention, then we all pay the price! LOL! A couple of weeks ago, we were with my family (lots of loud women trying to all talk over each other passing around Alexis and Ryan - - the two newest babies in the family) and Ryan was fed, changed and still grumpy...I set him in his car seat in the next room, where he could see us but wasn't being held...he loved it! He had just had too much! I wish now that I had just scooped him up and kept him close! Lane Michael is easily over stimulated and when he gets to that point he needs down time...time to sit, relax and calm down...sort out his's very sad because people don't always get to see the "real" Lane Michael...if there are new people around, it's the worst...Ryan may just be a lot like Lane Michael in that way.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Ryan's Birth Story

August 17th we had dinner on the living room floor, watched a couple of movies and then drove Lane and Ethan out to my Mom's house...we had an early day the next day and didn't want to make it earlier by adding a trip out to Mom's, so off we went, we stayed late, talking on the porch about the day we had ahead of us. On Tuesday we woke up at about 3:30...not because we had to but because we couldn't sleep...our minds were racing with the possiblities...the fact that Baby AC wasn't out of the woods was not lost on the end, we gave our fears to God. We lay awake until 4 when we resolved to just get up...we took a shower, dressed, checked our bags to make sure we had everything and off we went. We stopped at the donut shop down town for treats for the nurses and some moon rocks (if you're ever in Wapak, stop at the Downtown Bakery for moon rocks...they're creamed filled donut holes...AKA a small peice of Heaven that explodes in your mouth when you bite into them!). We got to Lima about an hour early so we wandered through WalMart looking for a nursing bra...I didn't have one yet! Then we were off to the hospital. They got us into our room, started the meds and left us to our devices. We watched TV, played on the laptop, updated people and just hung out. At about 12 they checked me and I was 4 cm, at 3 they checked me again and I was 8. Todd called my Mom and she and the boys came to the hospital, they walked in the room at 4:15 we hugged and chatted for a few minutes, I had 2 contractions while they were there and at 4:30 they were shewed out so I could be checked...17 minutes later we had a baby Boy! Ryan Michael was born at 4:47 pm on August 18th 2009 weighing 9 pounds 5 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. He was perfect...not really crying but pink and just checkin' us out...cold and confused. Two hours later I was in the shower and we were a family of Five! We called him everything but Ryan! We called him AC, Daron, Aaron, and Braden but never Ryan...slowly we've gotten better but we still hesitate before calling him by name....he looks like a Ryan though and that helps! He was hungry and was great at latching on but I didnt' make enough milk to feed him so he's being supplemented with formula and I'm now taking meds to help my milk's frustrating and angering! You want to feed your baby but your body won't cooperate and you're hungry because he's taking your calories but you don't want to gain weight AFTER the baby! It's just agrivating but SO worth it!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Look Who Dropped in on Lane and Ethan

Introducing our newest addition...Ryan Michael! This sweet boy was born August 18th weighing in at a whopping 9 pounds 5 ounces! A good boy with really REALLY bad sleeping habits! LOL! That's ok though I only get a few months to get up through the night with him...even if he gets up for the first year, I still only get a year! And since Todd says this is our last baby, that means this is my last chance to get up through the night! Ryan is 7 weeks old now and everyone is still kind of in a honeymoon...including Lane and Ethan...neither of them has been jealous much but both have been just wonderful helpers and are constantly doting all over him! It's the cutest thing! I'll write Ryan's birth stories over the next few days and will post it as soon as possible! Nothing like living at Weeny Ranch!