Friday, February 19, 2010

My Testimony...

A few weeks back my pastor called me, he explained to me that we had some new people attending our church, that they weren't sure how to make this change (becoming "Christians") in themselves and were asking to hear some Christian testimony, how others had made this commitment, a change in life so drastic that it changes you from the core. Not everyone experiences this head over heels life change, for some it's more like a light coming on, or going home...but it's something for everyone who experiences it. I want to share my testimony...I don't have that light coming on or that 180 flip...I was a cradle Christian...Jesus and God they just always were...there was never a moment when they weren't. So my testimony doesn't really lie in how I came to know Christ as my savior but more what Christ has brought me through. I've been an adult for roughly 10 years...a decade, one short decade....and I've experienced so much more than my "fair share" all in God's plan of course but nonetheless more than my childhood prepared me for...I had the perfect on died, we traveled, my Mom stayed home, my Dad worked a good job, I dated, my brother left for the Army and I spent so much time with my adult sister, I probably needed my own bedroom...all very cookie cutter-like! Anyways, 3 months after my 18th birthday I left for the Army, man was I naive...I'm lucky to have survived, white girl out of cornfield county! I had never had ANY experience with ANY other race or religion! (I think my parents did me a great disservice by not educating me on tolerance of others race, religion and culture - - I missed out on a lot of friendships because of this). It was downhill from there. In that short decade since leaving the comfort of my parents home I have been raped, I have stayed in the PICU for a week with my child as he was diagnosed with diabetes, I have held my seizing child's body, I have buried a child, I have buried my father, I have nursed my husband back to health from a very bad accident, I have sat through more doctors appointments then I care to share, I have prepared for the adoption of a child who never came, survived terrorist attacks, watched my husband go to war and return a different man...all significant life changing events...I wear each as almost a badge of honor. Bad things that God has not only carried us through but blessed us. The last ten years haven't been fact it's been wonderful. We're blesses, we're happy. Our struggles haven't defined me, but shaped me, shaped my relationship with Christ, given me a relationship, and made me dependent on that relationship. I need him like I need air, food, pure basic essential. After Lane was diagnosed, we went through whirlwind and before life had even settled into a new routine, we were saying good-bye to Braden and that's when my relationship with Christ really started to form. Because while God was always there, he was just that, there. More a watchdog than my loving protecting father. I had never really needed "protecting" never been unsure of anything until then....never needed carried...I had always walked...but then I needed carried. And I've been carried often since then...and will continue to need carried. Times when I can't walk, or refuse to walk...those are the times when I can give it to God...take a long hot shower, beat on his chest, scream and cry, then get up, walk away and know that God's got it from there.

My better than ever husband just handed me our youngest son so he could go do Bible study with our big boys, our healthy, vibrant, fun big boys...and Ryan just said Mama. It doesn't get better than this.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I wanted to post about abortion.

But today is not the day for a post about abortion! My kids are being dedicated on March 14th (if you're in the area, join us!). So I went shopping with my Mom for a few things and while I was there I thought I'd pick up outfits for them to wear for their dedication. So I went to T.J Maxx but they didn't have anything I wanted for the big boys so we went to Childrens - Place and found the CUTEST outfits for the big boys...which just happened to match an outfit given to me by Sarah (thank you btw) for Easter this year! I can't wait for the pictures and for my boys to be dedicated! So we were talking about God parents and we have 3 couples we feel are very qualified for different reasons...we have other couples but these 3 are the finalists. We have Rebecca and Brian (my cousin and her husband)...they've been there for everything and will always be there for us, Rebecca is my best friend and they love my children. Laura and Aaron (best couple friends)...they have 4 boys younger than Lane and Ethan...they have a strength in faith that's hard to find, are smart and would lay down their lives for anyone (and have for us). Ron and Kelly (best couple friends)...they have one daughter who is 13 and were never able to have more children...they share a lot of the same qualities as Laura and Aaron...they love with their whole hearts! So we knew we had the right couples when we asked Lane and Ethan "if we couldn't talk to you about God and if we couldn't take you to church, who would take you?" Lane Michael immediately said "Cool Aunt Becca and Uncle Brian" and Ethan right behind him said "Uncle Aaron and Aunt Laura" these were the couples we had discussed for these boys. Kelly and Ron have a special place in their hearts for Ryan, they have him every chance and have actually stayed home from work to have him when I had to work...they are who we would pick for him. It was perfect. The only problem is that I have family that will be offended...devistated with our was different when the boys were first born, and people I chose wouldn't be who we'd choose now...I put people's feelings before the purpose of God parents. Todd refuses to do that...I appreciate that in him for something like this...if we ever needed the spiritual well being met by someone other than us, we know who would pull through....we also know who wouldn't...who would be too far away and who doesn't have the strength in faith....nothing against these people but our faith is very important to us and our children growing up with a strong sense of God is our number one priority! Enough business! This is a celebration! We are dedicating our children to God, to honoring God and to raising Godly men! This is exciting for us! For all of us! Wish us luck! We have to stand infront of the whole church with three little boys!