Monday, February 27, 2012

Philolsophy part 2

The ideal relationship between parent and child:

Much like the relationship between parents, if you take care of the big “stuff” the rest will fall into place. However, it can’t all be summed up in communication, love, respect and trust. While all of these are important, I think children need nurturing, education, and appropriate affection from their parents. Children can’t know they are loved just on instinct alone. They need parents to teach them not only that they are loved but also to love others as well as themselves. Our schools have taken on much more than academic knowledge. It is the job of parents to teach children about age appropriate relationships, sex, maintaining the home, personal hygiene, and independence. How to get and keep a job, social skills and proper nutrition are things children should be learning at home, not necessarily at school. Teaching our children about these activities will also open the door to having an open and honest relationship, allowing the child to look to the parents for answers, knowing they’ll not be snuffed out, ignored or steered wrong.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Oh How I Loathe Todd's Hobby

Yesterday I found a pile of clothing left on the recliner from Sunday afternoon when Todd changed clothes, 5 days it laid in my basement. Here is the conversation (via text) that followed:

Snarky: dear todd, i am not oblivious to the mess of BDUs in my basement. one would assume that if one was working to minimize confrontation regarding a much beloved hobby, one would not leave unsightly piles of CRAP in ones otherwise clean space. sincerely begrudged and disgruntled spouse

Todd: My dearest lynne i am sorry about the mess and will rectify said mess as soon as possible. Please forgive me as I have been consumed with other matters. Even though that is no excuse i will remedy the situation asap. your humble servant Todd

Unconvinced: My dear Todd, thought I am hesitant to lift my spirits regarding rectification of said situation, all is forgive *insert obligatory smiley face which leaves you wondering if I am angry or kidding"

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Philosophy Part 1

The ideal relationship between parents:

Coming from two vastly different backgrounds/childhoods, Todd and I are very different people with our own ideas of how life should work. But what we do agree on is the type of relationship we strive for, work for; our ideal relationship. I could write a very detailed list of the things we’re looking for from each other but it can all be summed up in a few attributes. Mutual respect, love trust and communication. If we take care of these four things, everything else should fall into place. I believe most every situation, problem or hiccup can fall into these categories.

It also helps to have shared religious views as this is such a big aspect of a person’s life.

The Next county Agency required a 5 part philosophy on parenting sheet, this is the first part.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

First Homevisit

Licensing Worker (LW) came out today at 10 am and left at 12 so she stayed about 2 hours. She asked a couple of questions, went over the over all process and gave us the things we'll need to get done. Although, going through this before, we're pretty well set on what we need to do and how the process works.
So she asked us why we want to be foster parents and for me it was easy. I've always known I'd want to be a foster parent. It wasn't as easy for Todd, he never considered it but after some prayer his heart was softened. We knew it was a good time in our life, financially, in our marriage and our children are all at a great place. Everyone is a good age.

She asked us about conflict in our home, and how it's resolved. We explained how my family is entwined so deeply in each others lives and that it's Todd's job to keep them at bay and remind me that I don't have to do as my family chooses. I CAN tell them no, or do what I know is right for my family. We explained how we handle conflict between the 2 of us (communication and compromise) which led her to ask how to came to have such good communication between us. We told her that both being military, we share a lot of the same ideals and a lot of the same parenting and life styles. we also explained to her that we married young and really matured together, finding what works for us and how to work together.

She went on to ask what our strengths are. I told LW that Todd's strength lie in his parenting, he's a great Dad that does the activities, the costumes (Halloween and school play), sports, walks, bike rides. and Todd said that mine are in the numbers, and being the nurturing one. We're a good team. And our weaknesses? Todd doesn't like change and noise. I don't like clutter and a chaotic home. I don't mind kids running and yelling as long as the house is clean.

Todd immediately told LW that he realized that his struggles with change may be problematic but that we have found our own way of working through those struggles, we know it takes a few minutes for him to process the change and that his struggles have helped us to help Lane Michael when he struggles with the same thing.

We talked for probably an hour and a half, walked her through the house, talked for another 15 minutes and set up our next appointment for early March. By then we'll need to have a financial statement, our physicals done, our philosophy of parenting and our autobiography. After that we'll have our finger printing done and our final homevisit with the kids present. Then as soon as our pre-certification classes are done, we're all set. Things are moving along.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Home Study Preparation

Our first homestudy is Tuesday. Having gone through this once before we kinda know what we need to do to make sure the place will pass the homevisit. Our current "to do" list includes:

replace the fire extinguisher

put protective plugs in all the outlets

change the batteries in the smoke detectors (though they're work well right now)

move the toys from the boys bedroom to the basement to open up their bedroom and give them a little space in there

I'm looking for any websites or other information that would help us get ready. I think we may need to get a locked medicine cabinet for our daily meds (especially since Ethan's are considered a "controlled substance"). So far I'm not having any luck but I think we're doing ok so far! We're also working on making sure we're on the same page as far as children we can/will accept, discipline, our marriage, our family goals, communication, etc.

Lane Michael has asked that this become a family tradition, that when we are too old to foster, we can hand our foster children down to him, and he can hand them down to his kids. I think he was a bit confused. I've since talked to him about the process and that these children are real children and will grow as he grows...I thought that would be common sense by now. Guess not.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Two and a Half Goals Met

I recently listed my financial goals here:

and then later decided that we may be able to reach our goals faster if I went out of order a bit. So, I went ahead and put $2000 into savings (rainy day and emergency fund), paid off the ATV (which I had planned to do at the END of this year) and paid off our larger credit card ($3600) leaving us with only the smaller ($3000) credit card which I'd like to have paid off before Todd starts his fall quarter, allowing us to save up for Christmas, instead of using out of the savings account. I'm starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel!

And my official soapbox rant of the day: I will NEVER again go into debt for FUN! Never! Ever! Seriously! We've been paying a long time on an ATV that doesn't even live at our house and we don't even get good use out of! I'll never again spend years making payments on a non-essential! GAH!

ok, stepping down!