Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Ok, so life has been CRAZY!!!! I'll have to back WAY up to get it all in...We started our adoption classes on January 5th and they're more like Foster classes because they're geared toward couples who are wanting to do Foster in the state of Ohio you have to take 24 hours of classes to be a foster parent and then an extra 9 hours to be an adoptive on the 5th we had our first 6 hours and it went well. We were introduced to 10 other couples in our surrounding area all looking to adopt or foster...some are unable to have children of their own and others are able but aren't and some like us just want to adopt...without paying for the matter how you aquire the baby it's still a difficult road...the baby still isn't from your we took this road because with an agency people are struggling and fighting or competing for a baby...those babies will all find homes...but through Foster care, these babies may never have had a home...we didn't like the idea of International adoption because of all the travel and quite frankly why give a child from another country a home when there are SO many children here on our soil that need a home, a family and all the things that everyone wants for thier children (yes I do know how that sounds but I just can't help feeling this way). So back to the classes...they're interesting...they're good classes for everyone to take...not just people hoping to become Foster or Adoptive parents...they teach you the in's and out's of our system and I'm learning about the damage abuse can turns out that neglect is worse than most situations...becuase neglect is 24/7/365...and children truly can die from this...and we're learning how these kids feel when they're taken from their was scary to feel even a fragment of was panic attack scary! But I think one of the best things I'm getting out of this is the relationship with other couples who just want to start or complete or continue their families! They're all wonderful people with big hearts! So as of right now we're still looking to be adoption ready by the 1st of April...and to correct an earlier blog entry...I didn't buy my crib bedding aunt had bought one to put in Casa Chic (CUTE store in Wapak, Ohio with all sorts of specialty items, including hand painted furniture) and when I saw it I knew it was perfect...perfect! So my cousin and I are going to pin stripe the walls to match the crib set. And my mom bought our first outfit for's beautiful, it's a pink dress with a little pink sweater to go over it...I love it dearly! I guess this means we're on our way...I'm nervous and excited and still trying to remind myself that 30% of couples experience at least one failed adoption...please pray we aren't one of them!

In more happy news (made me cry), my twin four year old boys are now FIVE year old boys...when did my babies become big boys? Where was I and why didn't someone stop them? So what my cousin Rebecca and I have decided is that while women have anti-aging cream, we want anti-aging medication for our doesn't feel five years ago that they were premies with all the premie problems. Ethan had a hard time holding his body temp and Lane was born with an odd shaped head which required a helmet to correct it...Thank you Amanda (sister in law) who suggested it! Ethan was deaf and Todd (hubby) was headed to Iraq...I can't imagine why my mom started smoking again and my dad had a heart attack...did I mention I was in Germany when I got pregnant and the boys came two weeks from being German American dual citizens! LOL! Fun times! Any way, back to the subject at hand! We had thier first birthday party with friends...we invited both preschool classes and an assortment of friends from church and a couple of cousins...we ended up with 6 adults and 20 kids 5 and was so much fun! We only had it for an hour so that we didn't have them too long and the kids get wasn't quite enough time but it sure was fun! The boys ran and played and no one fought or got hurt...all was good thanks to a nicely finished basement!

And on to some not so good news...My dad has cancer ( I don't think I've blogged on here at all about this) in his colon, liver and lungs. Well on the 24th (boys b-day) he had a CT scan and yesterday they got the results back. It wasn't the remission we were hoping's bad. They said it has doubled in size and is inoperable...he will start a more agressive chemo today and it'll make him sick but it may shrink the cancer, so we'll see where this puts us. Please pray for us...all of us but especially my dad, and my boys...they're so attached to my dad...we lived there off and on for the first 3 years of thier life and I've said from day one that if I ever lose Lane Michael it will be to my dad...and now I'm starting to say it about Ethan too...So please pray for us.

On another happy note...I payed of my van yesterday...I've only had it about 2 years and this is the first time in my adult life to have a vehicle payed off that wasn't a car made in 1979! It's very exciting for me! Todd can now have his 4-wheeler! Yippee! He's been waiting his whole life for this!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Adoption Classes

Todd and I started our adoption classes this was interesting. There were about 10 couples there looking to either adopt or get a license to be foster placements...I learned a lot about people's needs to do this. We originally looked into this as a way to complete our family, but they seem to all have different needs. Some of them were empty nesting, some had religious reasons and a couple of them needed a way for one parent to be a stay at home parent. One family in particular has 4 kids all with medical needs. They are really perfect for this. They know the ins and outs of medical needs and have a big enough home for this...besides she's a stay at home mom and was at one time a guardian ad litum...someone put in place who has only the child's best interests at heart. So they know the system...but in talking to them I'm starting to question if they'll get approved...we had our fire inspection done and it said that if we have a wood burning stove we COULD NOT for any reason be foster or adoptive parents, and a wood burning stove was their soul source of heat. I would feel bad if they were n't able to go through with this because they seem perfect! But on the other hand I know where the state is coming with this because I dont know that I would be comfortable with a wood burning stove...esp. knowing how kids five year old Ethan has recently decided that he thinks it's ok to open the stove...we've always laid out this rule very clearly and he continues to open the oven...we are just at our wits ends with what to do about it...So if we have this problem with our own who has known the rules from day one, I'm sure that these kids are coming from a home where the rules were different and therefore are confused about the change in house rules...I know I would be!

Friday, January 4, 2008


I was going to post yesterday but I couldn't work let alone concentrate on this. One year ago yesterday my baby boy left me for Heaven. Braden Michael Skaggs was born 1/3/07 weighing 7lbs 4 oz, he had red hair and his dad's mouth. He was beautiful! So last night my family through a birthday party for us. They brought cake and games and a poem my Grandma had written for's wonderful. My family is so good to me. They cried with me and for me and they didn't push me to be ok but allowed me to just be sad! It's hard to find time to just be sad any more. From the beginning we've tried to be very honest with Lane and Ethan, that we weren't going to bring Braden home because he died and went to live in Heaven with God, we won't see him until we go to Heaven...all these answers that may be what they need to hear and may land them in some very expensive therapy...but since we started the adoption process we've been telling them that we'll have another baby but this baby won't grow in my tummy but in some other mommy's tummy, and we'll all love this new baby. Since we opted or a girl we tell them that they're going to have a sister and Lane was always very senistive about Braden but now Ethan will cry that he just wants his baby brother Braden back (say that 5 times fast) and that he doesn't want another baby...especially a girl baby. So we are trying to talk about it less, not that it makes it hurt less but maybe will bring it up less boys are so sensitive to everything we feel that it's hard to show much emotion in front to them. The last time Ethan and I had this conversation he cried so hard and so long that he finally cried himself to sleep, and then when i accidentally woke him up he started crying again...poor guy...he isn't usually this sensitive to anything....

In happier news, we start our adoption classes this weekend! Yippee!! We'll be taking a 6 hour class (1 hour lunch) about an hour south so we'll have to be away from my boys for 9 hours, yuck! But it's really one of the last legs in the first part of the adoption. We should be adoption ready April 1st...I hope to have the nursery done by then! I bought the crib set and now can start to plan the nursery around that! YEAH! I want to do pink and white stripes on the walls with black pin stripes in between! I don't know though...

Christmas and New Year

So it was a wonderful Christmas for us...we got to see everyone we wanted to see...for the most part and the boys seemed to really enjoy it! We started our festivities on the 24th when we had a candlelit dinner at my parents house, then we spent the evening baking from scratch (which is something I should do more often...but don't). Then the boys opened thier Christmas Pajamas (a long standing tradition in our family...the kids get to open Christmas Pajamas on Christmas eve for good luck and to settle that need to open SOMETHING! it's much loved by all!!) After the boys were bathed and in their jammies we took them back home and read the 'Twas the Night Before Christmas" snuggled them down in, said our prayers and went to bed. Todd and I usually sit up for awhile making sure everything is perfect for Christmas, say a prayer for our children and for our Angel Baby then off to bed we go. On Christmas we all get up open gifts and eat breakfast...Lane has to eat a small snack before he can begin so that he doesn't run low waiting for breakfast. Soon after we all eat, get dressed and head back to my parents. This year and every year from here on out though things will be different because we stop to see our son...we think of him and how he would change what we're doing...or how different life would be with him here...what he might have gotten for Christmas this year and what it would have been like to watch him rip through the paper...enjoying the boxes and bows more than he'll ever like the gifts...but we won't ever have that with we have to make due with our imagination. After the cemetary we head to my folks...arriving at about 3, and at 4:30 we head to my grandma's and see my mom's side of the family, we exchange gifts and then it's straight back to the folks for gifts with my sisters and brother (if they're in town - - not usually though). We spend the evening laughing, playing with new toys and being in general too loud! It was fun but you know there's just something missing!
On New Years Day this year we went to my parents for supper but when we got there the motor home roof was laying in the's a nice motor home...or was and wasn't near old enough for something like that to armed with bungy cords, and one HUGE tarp we headed out to check out the damage...God bless my husband...he worked his butt off trying to save as much as he we wrapped it in the tarp and prayed for the best...what a start to a new year! Good news is they have a great insurance agent who luckily put all the right insurance on the motor home when they bought it!