Wednesday, December 18, 2013

First of Many Good-Byes

Today has started the first of many good-byes for the girls. Their class started Christmas break today which will last through January 5 (starting back January 6th) and they'll be leaving officially January 3rd. Tonight is the last night of AWANA before they leave....they too go on holiday break since Christmas eve and New Years eve are both on Wednesday this tonight they will say good-bye to all their friends at church. Their bio-dad will have them every weekend from now on so they won't be coming to church on Sundays either. How interesting that all during the process to get licensed, there is so much to learn about bringing the kids into your home, adjusting to them, helping them readjust, keeping them safe, helping them grieve, helping them cope, and not one single class on helping them say good-bye to the life they build while in care. Not one class on sending these kids home. Very little support in this leg of the race. maybe support during this time would encourage foster parents to remain in this realm.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

First Weekend Visit and Challenges We Didn't Foresee

Weekend Visit: went well, we heard from Bio Dad once, got a random phone call about a small cough and Girlfriend not being on her med (doc took her off because she hadn't been wheezing and had really held her own without the med). We also got pictures of them attempting to visit Santa (he closed before they got through the line). The girls were happy to be home, Little Miss seems pretty excited to go again and is her normal happy go lucky self, hopping through life, letting very little phase her (she is our Ethan), Girlfriend (who is much more like Lane Michael) hasn't taken all this so lightly...she's been quiet, reserved, cuddly, clingy, scared, and sad. My once beautiful outgoing, confident, chatty, independent girl has very much become the same girl who came to live with us 18 months ago, reserved, scared, shy, quiet, (still beautiful) just scared...of everything...getting her shoes, going to bed, going potty...everything. I'm hoping this gets better since we're moving so slow with the transition. I'm just scared for her...that this will be harder to recover from since she's older and still has the scars from last time.

The Challenges we didn't see coming? The girls have made so many new school, at church and in our circle of friends...last night a friend of ours told her 3 children that the girls would be moving away...but see, these children have never known us without the girls...we have had the girls for the last year and a half...right after we joined our current church...where we met this couple. Their children had no idea that the girls are not our own. The decision to foster is something I will never regret...I refuse to regret our time with our girls....but I won't pretend that it has not had a negative impact on our children, our family and our friends. Saying good-bye to these amazing children, introducing a life style which we'd hoped to sheild our children from (drugs, abuse, prostitution, baby mama drama, dead beat dads - - please excuse my bluntness). I love these girls, and them coming into our lives has been such a blessing but the situation surrounding them is hard. My children are hurting, my friends are hurting, my family is hurting...and I've caused it. My choices have directly hurt the people I love.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

All in Perspective

I'm feeling good today. I know there will be rough days ahead but today I'm feeling positive. I haven't cried yet (come close but not yet) and can talk about it openly and positively but last night. last night put them going to live with their dad in perspective. The girls have 2 families loving them, missing them, praying for them, wanting what is best for them, they are healthy, happy, fed, and safe. They're amazing people who I pray will grow to be amazing adults. Now putting it all in perspective:

Todd has a student who was just diagnosed with cancer and most likely will need a hysterectomy.

There is a 6 year old boy from our town (his mom is an acquaintance/friend) he had strep last weekend, it turned into a flesh eating infection and he's in a coma, best case scenario he'll be there for 4 weeks.

I have a friend, a good friend, who is pregnant with her 4th. they're so excited, at their ultrasound recently the tech found her placenta is tearing away and dissolving, they also couldn't see the top of the babies spine and where it closes.

Sending the girls to live with a Dad who loves them, changed for them, worked for them and wants them doesn't seem so bad today. Perspective.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Transition Home Schedule

I recieved an e-mail today from my case worker looking at a schedule to transition Little Miss and Girlfriend home to their bio dad. This week we will send them for an overnight. BD will meet us, we will give him the girls, a bag of clothes and toys (that will stay with him) and the girls. we will then meet the next evening to exchange back. Then for the next few weeks he'll keep them for 3 days at a time. The last time he gets them will be January 1 or so and he'll just keep them after that. something like this:
week one (Dec 1-7) overnight one of those night
week 2 (Dec 8-14) weekend (which is actually 3 days)
week 3 (Dec 15-21) weekend
week 4 (Dec 22-28) weekend
week 5 (Dec 29-Jan 4) weekend and won't return after that

an example of a weekend is Tuesday morning through Thursday afternoon.

I am praying for their safety, for them to be at peace, and for them to know how much we love them. please pray with us.