Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I take so much for granted...

How easily I have forgotten how fast things can go bad. This week is Bible School and while I'm not involved, my Mom is the director. And as goes tradition, she has all the kids she can pack into the house there for Bible School. She has my niece, my nephew, my boys, 3 cousin's and my nieces friend (who doesn't speak great English since she's Russian) my adult cousin and aunt. Last night at 10:30 we tucked our boys in and headed for home. We had just dozed off when I heard Todd's phone telling him he had a message. I asked him who was messaging him at this hour, he looked at his phone and it was my Mom...Lane's sugar must be off....he called the house and Cathy answered she said "Lane's having a seizure" I can guarantee you've never seen this fat girl move like I did last night! I was dressed and in the car WAY before Todd and really mad that he wasn't waiting on me! We could see the ambulance lights from 2 roads over....there's nothing an ambulance can do for him, they could transport him to the hospital where they'd run some tests, and tell us he had a seizure....which we'd tell them! Lane continued to seize for a total of 40 minutes (his longest yet) but the situation was handled beautifully! His sugar was checked, the kids were contained and cared for but everyone had so much adrenaline at that point that no one slept well after that! It was interesting how he came out of it, he was eating an ice cream bar (to bring his sugar back up) and after he took the last bite, he swallowed, looked at me, smiled and said "Hi Mom" Oh there is nothing like that first "Hi Mom" when you're baby leaves you and finally comes back! The worst part was that he knew we were there but he couldn't see us, he could hear us but couldn't make out what we were the beginning of the seizure he was screaming "I want my Mom, I want my Dad, but I'll miss my Grandma" then when he could hear us he'd yell "help me help me" and he couldn't understand that there's nothing we could do to help him! That's the worst part! To be standing with him and not be able to reach him. Sorry if I rambled through this, I'm very tired! I can't stress enough how important a family support system has saved our lives! Cathy was with us for the first seizure and immediately knew "the scream" that Lane screams during a seizure, my Mom was able to delegate jobs to people and my aunt and uncle came over to help, my other aunt sat with the kids and watched cartoons, and when it was all over, all the cousins gave Lane Michael a big squeeze....even though he wasn't sure why everyone was looking at him! The human body amazes me! I may add to this later as more details from the evening come back to me...

Friday, July 17, 2009

Winds of Change....

Life is changing, hard and fast changes. Changes that make life....changes that make me trust God. And I do. I trust that God has a plan. That there is a reason Todd was let go from this job. Financially we are fine, making it easier to trust God. We were planning for Todd to quit his job in September when he starts back to school. Every time there has been a job loss, it has worked out for the best. The most recent being Lane Michael's diabetes diagnosis when Todd had to spend 7 days in the PICU with him learning to care for him outside of the hospital. I had just started a new job and was pregnant (5 months pregnant) so I trust that there is a reason for us to start this new chapter early. Whether it was to avoid an accident or because life will change again, I trust God's plan for my life. He started looking for a different job immediately, I asked him not to. I want him to stay home with our kids for the summer, enjoy them, enjoy his time with them, bond with Baby AC and then when he goes back to school, go back energized and ready, relaxed and fresh. And then after a few months of being back, if he can handle a job, then find a job...if he can handle it. Don't jeopardize school performance for a few hundred dollars if we are ok financially.

And today we went to the doctor....she asked when I would be 39 weeks, I told her that August 18th was 39 for me....she said that August 18th sounds like a good day to have a baby, so on Tuesday August 18th at 6:30 am we will check into the hospital and I will leave there not pregnant. The doctor examined me today to see if she thinks Baby AC will "fit" through my bone structure....if you know me, you'll agree that the idea of me NOT being big enough for something is laughable...I have a large bone structure, but she said that while she thinks it's worth a shot, she also thinks it'll be a bit of a struggle, longer harder pushing, some tearing and we still may end up in a c-section....the baby is just that big! Which means I won't get to go natural like I wanted...I don't want to chance not having the epidural and then having to be knocked out if they do a c-section...I'm not willing to miss this just so I can have the experience that I want. That would be selfish and closed minded of me. But the 9 month questions "what is Baby AC?" will be answered in 32 days!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

YIKES....oh WOW!

I went for my bio-physical profile today. They were making sure the blood flow through the placenta and umbilical cord was healthy and that Baby AC is developing and growing like he/she should be! So I plopped down in the chair and she readjusted me to a good position, we warned her that we didn't want to know the gender and she began. She started out by measuring the babies head circumference and then she stopped and re-measured....she hesitated and asked "how far along are you?" I'm 34 weeks today....she looked back at the screen and said "Yikes...oh WOW" Todd asked what that meant and she said that we have an over achiever! She then continued to measure the baby and said several more "yikes" and "wow"s Then she showed us on the screen how big they're calculating the baby to 34 weeks the baby is 7 lbs 5 oz! HOLY COW! So she played a little longer, looking at this and that, the baby has both kidneys and a good size stomach (obviously) and was practice breathing! Then she was looking to get a good picture of the babies face but since the baby is face down and STUBBORN as all get out, he/she wouldn't roll over and actually crossed his/her arms over the face (Todd sleeps like that) so no face shots! but we did see LOTS of LONG hair! LOL! Too fun! So everything looks great but maybe a little plus sized! This should be my biggest baby by far! Blood flow through the umbilical cord and placenta was VERY healthy and looked great! Everything is functioning as planned! And we of course have only one to thank for that! So Thank God for BIG miracles! We only have about a month left, lots can happen in that month....I have faith that everything that will happen will be good things!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Nesting is frustrating! It doesn't matter right now how clean the freaking house is because I have 2 six year old boys and a 30 year old man living there and it's going to be a mess again, even if I vacuum and dust and do laundry and it doesn't matter if they mess it up I have this need to clean it again anyways! Or I really want to clean it and can't because there are too many chemicals in too small of a space to clean the bathtub and toilet! I've been using the Lysol wipes on it but really I want to use the 4 in 1 cleaner and get down there and do it right, or what I'd really like to do is clean my kitchen floor with a tooth brush but I think Todd will put his foot down and say no! But he doesn't understand! I can only Lysol wipe the counters SO many times before I start to take the finish off! (do counter tops have a finish) I asked Todd to change clothes last night so I could WASH WHAT HE'S WEARING! I'm insane! I have my hospital bag packed (underpants, comfy coming home outfit for me and baby, toiletries for me and Todd, diapers for the ride home, camera, a nursing gown, and boob pads...I still need to buy a couple of nursing bras but I think I should have everything....yes? think ladies think! what am I missing?) So I've cleaned everything I can and now I'm going nuts! I even took to swimming the last two nights (yes we got a pool) just to keep myself occupied! My mind is racing! I've washed the boys sheets and am waiting to change ours for when our new bed gets put up...which should be any day now (if Todd would just do it)! I also have this desire to shop ALL THE TIME! And for the most random stupid stuff! Like a melon ball er! Yesterday I got all emotional because Todd didn't get home first! Seriously? What is that about? I'm not that girl! I'm not this girl! This clean freak, emotional ball of energy that can't sit still but has pajamas on before supper! UGH! Save me from myself! Please tell me this is normal!