Thursday, December 31, 2009

I'm Expecting Fluffy Mail!

I was all set to order my cloth diapers yesterday. I had found the perfect diaper for us, all the reviews said that Smartipants work great for chubby thighed babies and Ryan does have the thighs that could feed Ethiopia! I even had $350 set aside to make this happen! I had checklists of pros and cons of different diapers, I refused to buy any diapers not made in the USA! I didn't want to spend the outrageous price that some seem to be and I wanted a one size fits all so I didn't have to replace them as Ryan gets bigger...since he's our last baby, he's the only baby we'll be cloth one size it is. I had it all in Smartipants...the price was right, they were cute, one size and they were pocket diapers, so I would stuff them and Todd would have little to NO work set before him. Then I read a blog (one that I read rather religiously - Keeping up with us) and she wasn't using pocket diapers, or all in ones and suddenly the prefolds didn't seem so scary. I read and re-read her post about the prefolds and covers. I came to the conclusion, Todd can do prefolds. And we saved $200. seriously. We still have our Kushies for when we leave the house or he has to stay with someone who is scared of cloth and if he outgrows those, then I can replace with a few pocket one size diapers from Smartipants! Ok, So what did I go with you ask? I got 24 red edge green mountain prefolds, I got 3 duo wraps size 2 ( in mango orange, white and storm cloud - -the orange is really for me, the storm cloud for Todd and the white in case we need it to not be seen under his clothes) and we got 2 Mommys Touch Wraps (one in cow print and one in camo - - cow print for my cousin and I and camo for Todd) and one 3 pack of snappis. The package should be here Monday. Are you as excited as I am? I think I'm obsessed...Todd KNOWS I'm obsessed and it's all I want to think about. It's exciting and new! I regret not cloth diapering the big boys...especially since some are saying that disposables may be the reason infertility among men spiked 20 years after the introduction of disposable diapers. makes you think. Did you know there are 48 different chemicals laying against your babies skin when you use a disposable diaper. I'm not judging, especially since I use disposables with Ryan and it's all I used with Lane and Ethan. It just makes me sad that I didn't do more research about this stuff with the big boys.

Monday, December 28, 2009

We Did It!!

We made a part time transition to cloth diapers! My cousin gave me her hand-me down Kushies and we LOVE them! Ryan was a little fussy yesterday but it wasn't because he was wearing cloth diapers! They are very little work and lots of fun! I was surprised how much I enjoyed NOT throwing away diapers that would sit in a land fill for CENTURIES! LOL! I also have saved 10 disposible diapers since starting (we've used each diaper twice and have 5). I think I might be a little crunchy or a little hippy at heart....which completely contradicts who I thought I was! LOL! Not the flowy, flowery, tie-dyed kind of hippy but I would like to be more gentle parenting, cloth diapering, baby-wearing, baby food making, free expressing, healthy eating, bicycle riding, compost piling, chicken raising, egg collecting, food canning, gardening kind. I think Todd would let me be those things too...if we had the time to garden a big garden, if we had the space to put the big garden, if we lived where we could have chickens. you know? OK so I completely changed subjects! Anyways, I think I'm going to extend my "stash" (I like that word) with a few prefolds/covers and smartipants diapers. And maybe a variety pack. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

What do you say?

A friend died.
She was a good friend in HS.
We graduated together.
We lost touch.
Life changed.
What do you say to her Mom at the funeral?
I asked how she was...then said nevermind.
Her husband seemed like he was in shock.
Her children weren't there.
Her brothers seemed like they were in shock.
I can only hope her Dad was in shock.
He joked with people.
I found it inappropriate, but will give the benefit of the doubt.
A few months back she was given 12-18 months to live.
Then last Saturday (12/12/09) she was given a week.
She died on Thursday.
Her children are 4 years old and 8 years old.
Little girls.
How does her husband explain something he probably doesn't understand.
This scares me.
It brings death to a very real point for me.
I don't want to make it all about me but I can't help but relate.
I can't help but think, we aren't so different, Nicki and I.
We were born just 2 1/2 months apart.
Our children are comparable ages.
I had nodules on my thyroid that was suspected tumors.
My nodules and her first bout with cancer happened within months of each other.
So why her?
Why not me?
So I have decided to write my boys a letter...each.
Maybe more than one.
One for graduation.
One for wedding day.
One for drivers license.
One for dating.
One for first baby.
One for hard times.
One for 18th b-day.
One for 21st b-day.
One for college graduation.
One for first job.
I know it sounds like a lot.
Not compared to what a living Mom would offer.
I have friends and family that would really step up for them.
There are things I want them to know.
Things I want them to hear from me.
Things I want them to know were important enough to me to write down.
Todd doesn't believe in this.
He thinks you're jinxing yourself.
I've said good-bye to 2 classmates in 3 weeks.
I'm scared.
I'm not afraid of dying...just afraid of not raising my children.
Wish me luck.
This will be one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Cloth Diapering.

I'm going to try it. My cousin has a 1 yo little girl and she cloth diapered for a period but is done. I texted her today to see where she got her cloth diapers and her response "bru and you can have them!" Yippee! That makes starting up less scary! I mean, I am flaky by nature...I like to start things but follow through isn't really my strong point. I have a desire to be crunchy, green and more gentle. Take a more gentle approach to parenting, a gentle effect on the environment and a gentle approach with Todd. Again, I'm good at ideas and intentions but the follow through. Not so much. Wish my luck! Starting Christmas, I'll be cloth diapering...I've already started baby wearing and LOVE IT!

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Could he look any more like his Grandpa Dennis? Holy Cow! Put a little pair of glasses and a miniature mustache on this boy and we have a little mini-Dennis! Well except (of course) for those Clementz cheeks - - I just want to squeeze them!

What a Daddy's boy! They sure are fond of each other!

My three month old baby! Look at those baby blues!

I love this far he's my favorite age he's ever been! Some strange things about him:
1. he gets way over stimulated quickly
2. he used to roll over but stopped
3. he likes to watch people but doesn't necessarily want to be held
4. he doesn't care to eat
5. he loves his daddy and is beginning to really understand who Lane and Ethan are
6. we call him Little Friend because otherwise we can't remember his name
7. he has brought our life back to normal
8. he loves his blanket as much as Lane still loves his
9. he loves his bottles....loves!
10. he studies people and when he just can't take it anymore he throws himself into them for a hug - I love his hugs

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

R.I.P. Matt

A friend of mine from school passed away this weekend.
We have his viewing tonight.
How does this happen?
How does a 28 yr old man die?
I'm very sad for his family.
I'm a little confused...having a hard time processing it
It doesn't feel real
We weren't "close"
But when there's on 70 in the class, you're friends
What do you do with this,
do you grieve?
Do you say "how sad"
I'm not good at grieving...
actually I'm really bad at it
especially to find the appropriate level of grief
we weren't good friends
but we were class mates
he's the first in our class to go
it's symbolic in a lot of ways
he was a good guy
always far as I remember
but he's also my age.
a man my age died.
he didn't leave behind a wife and children
for that I am thankful
on the other many want to leave their mark
leave an impression in the form of their genes living on
he never go to do that.
his brother's wife is expecting
will they feel obligated to name this child with significance to Matt
so often we do.
a tool, a grieving mechanism.
this is the 3rd personal funeral I've been to as an adult.
Braden, then my Dad, and now Matt.
A friend's Dad passed but that was different, I didn't know him.
I do attend the funerals of my clients but again, different
please pray for this family as they grieve for their loss.
Loss is always harder around the holidays,
RIP Matt
we're praying for you and your family!