Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What is New Years Eve Daddy?

A conversation held by the men in my family:

Todd: Tomorrow night, you guys are going to stay at Grandma's for New Years Eve and Mommy and Daddy are going out with Cool Aunt Becca and Uncle Brian

Lane: What's New Years Daddy?

Ethan: It's the end of the world.

Todd: What?

Ethan: It's the end of the world.

Todd: What will happen?

Ethan: The world will break into a bunch of tiny peices and will come to an end.

Todd: Who told you that?

Ethan: My heart told my head, it just knows.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Babies Gender...

Todd is wavering...he's unsure, very unsure! He's afraid he'll slip up and tell. He's afraid I'll be disappointed if he spills the beans. But in reality, the only reason I'm not finding out the babies gender is because I think it's more fun this way! I'm not against finding out, and I certainly don't have a preference, I just think it's fun. If he does find out and accidentally slips, I'll be disappointed, but not upset, I may even act like I don't know at all! One solution would be to pick a gender and call the baby by that until he/she is born. We currently call him/her Baby AC-for Addison or Collin...him knowing, and me not knowing is a very involved process and will take lots of planning of many conversations and being super careful of who we tell...many people have decided to not find out if/when Todd does. My Mom wont be finding out because she can't keep a secret from me, my cousin Rebecca probably won't find out but might...she's a planner and likes to be in the 'know' I have friends who I suspect will want to know....if Todd knows that is! My cousin is in the process of adopting a baby (due in February) and they have been told boy all along (according to early gentic testing) but was recently told girl (per ultrasound) which is another reason that I'm hesitant to find out, so many people are told one thing in the beginning, they prepare for that gender, and have a completely different gender! I don't want to paint my beautiful pink nursery a neutral color and then wish I had my beautiful pink nursery back!

And in other news...Lane Michael got up yesterday for church and while Todd was shaving and I was bathing he made himself cereal! Crazy kid! He didn't test or measure but he didn't spill anything either! If he wasn't diabetic this would be great! It would be a huge milestone, but really it's just scary!! Ethan has been carrying a 4 ft dog (stuffed) everywhere he goes and thinks it's wonderful! Good job Santa! They have loved everything they got for Christmas! They have played with everything and have a great time! The lack of toys wasn't a big deal and they are so happy!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas Brings Out the Best & the Worst

On Christmas Eve we moved into my Mom's house for the night...and so did my sister. It wasn't her year with her boys, so she only had her baby girl (10 mos) and it being her first Christmas, it was very exciting! We had a great time, I got to tell her about Baby AC due in August, we got to talk, catch up but more than anything, we got to go back to us. It was like old times for us, we laughed too loud and long over things that weren't nearly as funny as we thought they were! We celebrated together and I still got to carry out all of our traditions with our boys, we baked Christmas cookies, took a bath, opened Christmas Eve Jammies and then Todd read Twas the Night Before Christmas. It was perfect, we snuggled the kids into bed and went to work...Todd was nearly useless and watched movies, while I wrapped gifts and finished Christmas cookies. It was lots of fun! Christmas was good this year, I got more than I needed! We visited Dad and Braden in the cemetary, it was good to be down there again...I hadn't been down there since fall. After that we went to Grandma Sweets for the evening, again a great time had by all! So I'm sure you're wondering where the "worst" comes into's coming, I promise. Well Friday night we celebrated with my other sister. It was agony. Mom was sick, the little guys played, and my sister sat in the recliner playing on the laptop. When I mentioned that I'm pregnant again, no one even looked at me. Two of my neices sat in one recliner only speaking to each other, leaving the third to say nothing all evening. It was torture. I made supper and stayed in the kitchen because even if I did say anything, no one listened or spoke back....I knew things weren't great between us but I didn't know it was all that...I know that she is going through a hard time and all but it was more torture than I'm up for! I'm glad it's over but I wish the worst had come before the best!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The New Baby...

I was playing around yesterday when I found this site: So I (being very entertained and intrigued) uploaded Todd and I into the system (it's free) and this is the baby they gave us! He looks a lot like Todd as a little guy! I'm thinking of trying it again today with different pictures! It's lots of fun and exciting....and maybe a little crazy...what's funny is that I can kind of see each of us in there....teeheehee! What fun! So this is AC...until of course AC is born!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Change of Plans!

This year we're going to have to send a change of address to Santa Claus...of course it's a temporary change of address, but a change of address none the less...for Christmas this year, we'll be staying at my Mom's house! We're very excited and will probably do this a lot in the years to come...we've done it some in the past and always have a great time! We talked about it last night and since we'll be spending Christmas Eve there (for dinner and cookie baking) and will be back at Mom's by 3, then it only makes sense for us to just stay the night! We explained to Lane Michael and Ethan that Santa knows where we'll be and will find us no matter where we are, they're good with it...of course Lane would live there if we let him! So for Christmas Eve dinner this year, Gina (my sister) will be making the appetizers, my sister Hef may not come at all, we're still working on it, and I will be making the manicotti, Mom will make the casserole and meatballs...maybe a salad. And then after all is said and done we'll bake sugar and gingerbread cookies...lots of them! Yum! I'm excited! Then the boys will open Christmas Eve jammies (my favorite tradition), take a bath, put jammies on, read a couple of Christmas stories (the traditional Twas the Night Before Christmas and then The First Christmas)....after that Todd and I will wrap gifts and watch Christmas movies! Sounds like good times for all!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Christmas Shopping is done!

WOOHOO! We're done! We (and by we I mean Todd) finished our Christmas shopping yesterday! This year, Christmas is different at our house! This year it is about family time. It's about being together, being thankful for what we have and loving those around us. This year it's about knowing how blessed we are and not about what's under the tree. Our boys have been told that Jesus received three gifts for his birthday, and that is how many they can expect to get. They understand, they like it...they never got upset with us or Santa (who made the rule) and they never once indicated that three isn't enough. They can name Jesus' three gifts, and hopefully Sunday they will learn the names of the 3 Wise men who came bearing gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. This year they are mature enough to understand that Christmas is about way more than the gifts we get, this year they helped to buy gifts for a family in need, they looked at the gifts under the tree (toys they wanted to keep) and yesterday gave them to the Mommy with a joyful heart! I'm so proud of them! They are so different, such individuals but I couldn't be more proud of how they've acted this year. So without further ado, here is what each child will find under the tree this year:
LANE MICHAEL will find:
digital camera (the one thing he has consistently asked for)
miniature Gameboy (so they can stop breaking Gramma's PSP)
Ben Ten car (it does cool boy stuff that really just confuses me to no end)

ETHAN will find:
stuffed dog (that when held up stands as high as my rib cage...and I stand 6 ft tall!!)
miniature Gameboy (so they can stop breaking Gramma's PSP)
MP3 player (so he can stop pretending to have one with headphones hooked to a small plastic box...he does this daily)

They will get one gift from us, this is unusual but they've asked for Kota since he came out and when he went on sale for $99 (from $299) we had to snatch him up!!

This year will be a joyful one, but on Christmas morning, before going to my Mom's we'll make our annual stop to see our baby, our (should be) 23 month old baby, and we will leave with him a toy chosen with love and tears. We will also stop and say Hi to my Dad, we'll tell him we're pregnant and how much we wish he could be here with us to celebrate, to rejoice in this new addition. But a joyful Christmas we will have because I got the best 26 years with my Dad, I got the best 9 months with Braden and I am blessed!

Thursday, December 18, 2008


Ok so everyone knows that until recently we had planned to have no more biological children and we wanted to adopt a girl from the foster care system but because of various reasons,we decided to try for one more bio baby before jumping back into the system. But we had made this decision and it just so happened that since we were only looking to adopting a girl we would need a girls room. So I went out and bought lots of stuff for a baby girl, received lots of hand me downs (for a girl) and painted the room pink. HM. So begins my dilemma. What if we don't have a girl? Todd will be finding out the gender of this little being in or around April 7th...but I won't. So one option was that if it's a boy he could keep the room closed and paint when I'm not around...a good option but I'd smell the paint and we're almost never apart from each other. The other option is for me to just give up the dream of not knowing and find out in advance with Todd and paint the nursery ahead of time. But the third option is leaving it alone, letting the baby stay in a bassinet in our room for the first 1-3 months and paint and set up the room during that time...but it will be such a busy I want to give up that time with my baby to paint the walls of a nursery! I don't know, I think we'll just see how things progress from here!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I don't feel any different...

When I was pregnant for Braden I wasn't worried, because pregnancy was a magical time where you were in this bubble of protection and nothing could harm you. When I was too early to show, we still had of them kicked me hard in the stomach. When I was about 5-6 mos pregnant my parents dog took my feet out from under me and I landed on the concrete HARD! But I didn't get checked, I didn't call the doctor...I don't know that I even told him at my next appointment. Maybe, but again, I don't this morning when I fell, I didn't want to be a bother to my Dr. so instead I called in some experts, and was told to call my Dr. Turns out, you should call for that kind of stuff. My back is starting to hurt but the thing is, I think I'm ok...I'm scared for my baby. Even if he/she doesn't have a heart beat yet, I'm scared for him/her. I love this baby and would walk thru fire to deliver a healthy baby.
The thing about pregnancy...theres nothing I can do. I have no control over what's happening in my lower abdomen. I can do things to help and I can things to hurt progress. I can take my vitamens, rest when I need to, and eat right...but falling on the ice is a split second game over. Then there are people who eat junk, smoke, drink and live dangerously and are handed a perfect 7 lbs 5 oz screaming bundle and never really appreciate what they have...but really do I appreciate what I have? Not the way I could...I have two little blessings at home and I know how blessed I am to have them but that doesn't mean I couldn't appreciate them more...Life is good, I feel blessed to be pregnant, if only for today.

Went to the Doctor...

I don't know anything more than what I knew before...they said to watch for spotting, cramping and pain...and to call back if anything feels bad...I feel fine physically...I'm tense from being....well, tense. They're running a serum test today (already done) and again in 48 hours to make sure the levels are still doubling...they also said it would give us a better estimate on when I'm due. They have my date as 8/25/09...I think I'm more like 8/30/09....who knows though! They're the doctors/medical professionals so I'll let them worry about that! Thanks for the prayers!

I fell on the ice...

I'm terrified. Please Pray.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Missouri was Fun...

We had a great time in Missouri, we got to spend plenty of time with the brothers that we like and everyone was pleasant and made a real effort at Christmas! Usually there is a fight or two when the whole family gets together but it went well, everyone was on their best behavior and it was natural good...not pushed or strained. We moved together like a family, we yelled and argued politics, football, the economy and health care! We all got to say what we wanted but since it was all at the same time, no one heard anyone else! It was funny! Todd and I brought home 8 of the most delicious pizzas from Imo's and can't wait to share them with the people who have never been lucky enough to partake! We're addicted and have considered having them shipped's expensive but WAY worth it! Todd got to announce to his family that we're expecting and everyone was happy for us and offered MANY congratulations! I forget how much I like them when I don't see them....I like some of them. There are two couples in particular that I feel comfortable with...well, I'm really connected to one SIL and one brother...the brother in particular...he's easy to like and seems to go out of his way to get to know me...I require that from Todd's family because I'm leery of them but this brother, I like him...he's someone I would choose to communicate with...but he lives the furthest from us! His wife is sweet, she's quiet and timid, I like her. It seems to me that all of us SILs feel the same way about the rest of the family, and our DHs share our works well.

While in St Louis, Todd took out some time to take me shopping, he took me to jewelry stores, if the baby is a girl, we'll get her a baby ring so we looked at those, but I may just ask for mine and hand it down to her. We also looked at new wedding sets because on our 10th anniversary we'll get new wedding was fun to look and play! Then he took me to Once Upon a Child, I got to look at baby stuff and baby clothes and I bought a few things (two pairs of pants and 3 shirts, all for $38) and I think I'll be looking for a local Once Upon a Child, the stuff there was so nice! We went thru Baby R Us and bought nothing but loved seeing all the baby stuff and looking at the things we still need.

Over all it was a great trip and a really good time with all three of the men in my life!

Monday, December 15, 2008

I didn't think this is how I'd feel...

I read a blog regularly about a young woman facing infertility. She finally (after many tries and even more tears) got pregnant with twins...she lost them at 20 weeks (approx.) and is now about 12 weeks pregnant. She wrote a very long heartfelt tear jerking post detailing the agony of being pregnant and not having the ability to attach to the baby, to feeling like a pregnancy no longer means a baby...I disagreed and stood fast on my "think positive" soap box, I was torn between praying for her to think positive and telling her to think positive. On Friday night I found out that I'm pregnant...I'm three weeks pregnant, and it doesn't feel real, I don't feel like there is automatically going to be a baby at the end of this 37 week adventure...but what I can do is fake it until I make it! So, the announcement is that I'm 3 weeks pregnant! We aren't waiting the 3 months to tell, we will celebrate this pregnancy and pray for this baby developing in my lower abdomen! I took two digital tests and they each took very little time to pop up in big bold capital letters PREGNANT! I'm excited and nervous and apprehensive...but mostly excited! We told my family over the phone Friday night as soon as we took the test and Todd announced it to his family on Saturday at the Christmas party! Everyone razzed him that we'd have twins, Todd got huffy about it (in a fun way) which made the jokes continue! It was funny! Actually most people I've talked to mention twins...thanks guys! LOL! Actually twins is not a bad thing. The only part we're sad about is that Dad didn't live to see him/her! We're not sure what we'll call baby until birth day when I find out the gender but rest assured I'll let you know as soon as we figure it out!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

To Missouri We Go.

DH lived in Missouri before joining the service, that's where his parents and all of his siblings live. I never know how to feel about going to Missouri...DH does love his family, but we choose to keep a certain level of separation from them. He's protective of them but doesn't understand them. They're an interesting crew to say the least, but they're family. So I will take a Valium, drink a beer and pray for the best. Wish me luck folks, I'll be needing it!

I'm so lucky to be raising my son's best friend...

Last night as we were heading upstairs for bed:

Ethan: Mom, does Lane have to sleep with me tonight?

Me: No....Lane you have clean sheets right?

Lane: Yeah...

Ethan: *sniff*

Me: Ethan, do you want Lane to sleep in your bed?

Ethan: *sniff* yes

Lane: It's ok bludder, I'll sleep with you

Ethan: *grabs Lane for a hug* I love you

Lane: I love you too

I am so blessed to have witnessed this act of bludderly love!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

One Payment at a Time...

Something that has always hurt me financially is my (or Todd's) lack of patience. I'm an inpatient just so happens that Todd is more impatient, leaving me the option to blame him for our financial back slide. But the truth is, I am equally responsible. In the past things have always "fallen" into place for us financially. We were credit card debt free at one time and oh how sweet it was. But life happened and eventually we were right back where we debt. In the past we have had a lump sum check of some kind come thru and pay off the debt we had been working on. Those lump sum checks were great and pulled us out of the pickle we were in. So this time, when we started trying to dig our way out of this debt, and there was no lump sum to pull us thru, it brought the reality of paying off debt crashing down around me. Paying off our debt can't be done over night, it's done one pay period at a time. One payment at a time and we just have to wait for our paychecks to come, and watch as we battle "periodic fees" and other ridiculous amounts being added to our debt! And I realized, I'm learning patience.

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa, I have a very long and detailed list for Christmas this year. Since it is so long I will send it in list fashion instead of letter

1. I would like my Mom to smile the way she did when Daddy was alive

2. I would like my DH to come back from the funk he's been in since July

3. I would like my children to hurt a little less and see less death

4. and for me, I would like a baby. gender, hair and eye color doesn't matter, just one that breathes, eats, poops and occasionally cries...and isn't made a plastic

5. I would like a new purse. And since the purse is probably the only thing I'll get, I would like to specify that it should be pretty and (hint hint Todd) from TJMaxx

Hope you get everything you want for Christmas this year.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I'm not pregnant...yet. Yes we're counting on being pregnant very soon! But last night, as we lay on the couch nursing ourselves back to health from the miserable flu that is running rampant thru our family we started talking about names...for girls we came up with lots of wonderful names but it always has been Addison Cecil (I'm Lynne Cecile, my Grandma Sweet is Lois Cecil) we may call her Addie, but it will depend, Lane Michael wants to call her Sissie, Ethan will probably follow suit. Our boy name has been very hard for us, a struggle really, it's harder for us to settle when all of our obvious favorites are used on our three boys. So what goes with Lane and Ethan...we thought of Trevor (it goes well, but we're both not positive), we liked Heath (but Keith, Ethan and Heath might be too much in our circle of friends) and Jackson has always been a favorite (but I'm a middle name user and I don't know if we could/should have a Jackson Michael) so last night as we miserably drank Sprite and ate Saltines we came to the conclusion of Collin Michael. We will either have a Collin or an Addison...I'm happy either way! I love both names and they both go with the boys names
Lane Ethan and Collin
Lane Ethan and Addison
I love it!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Sometimes Intuitions are Worth Listening To

Sometimes I get an intuition and it's WAY off...I mean couldn't be more off. Sometimes I trust people that don't deserve it, I let them in and they hurt me. Sometimes I don't trust people or their intentions, and they end up with the most honorable intentions. My intuition about my children is usually dead on. When the boys were three years old, Todd was laid off, the next week we had to go to Chicago for a Young Veterans Symposium. While we were there he was hired on with a different company, when we got back we celebrated with a breakfast with my parents and my Grandma Sweet. At breakfast, Lane Micheal turned grey and started to "fall asleep" we thought he must be sick, so my Mom woke him up, and fed him some pancakes, just to have something in his tummy in case he slept until lunch. The next day Todd was off work, they didn't have a trainer for him. So he took Lane Michael to the doctor, asking him to test for diabetes, the doctor tried to refuse, but Todd was having none of it...after a short "discussion" the doctor finally checked his blood sugar, he was over 500 and hadn't had anything to eat that day. Todd didn't want to feed him if they need urine or blood off they went to the ER, and then straight up to the PICU where they camped for 7 long days. Todd's new job told him to take care of things and he'd have a job waiting for him. (thank you Roeder). I just wish I had listened to my nagging mothers intuition when it said to have Ethan's hearing tested last year. So two months ago when my intuition started telling me to pay off debt as fast as possible, I listened, it's not going fast, but again as fast as possible. I'm a worker, it's what I do, I'm not fun (don't feel the need to re-assure me that I am, I'm not) I'm not witty or original. Everyone in my family can be described by an animal, Lou is a dog (loyal to the end, kick him and he'll bite your leg off) Gina is a momma bear (looks innocent enough but don't screw with her kids), Heather is a peacock (beautiful, a little flighty but rules the roost) and I am the horse, I'm a worker, and I'll work myself to death for you because I'm a horse. So (I swear this is going somewhere) what do I do when I want to get a second job (just until the debt is paid down) but it makes my DH feel like he isn't doing his part? Todd is great with the kids and he wants to be on the floor with them, watch movies until midnight and wrestle until someone gets hurt...I'm not that person. I want to snuggle at night, read bed time stories, do homework and fix dinner...but I'm not the fun one so it makes sense for it to be me. hmmm....

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Blogger: diabetes loss and adoption - Edit Post "Three was Good Enough for Jesus."

Blogger: diabetes loss and adoption - Edit Post "Three was Good Enough for Jesus."

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Ok so I want to be debt free. So I’m going to use numbers that aren’t real and lay out our “budget” and would like some suggestions…so here’s our “budget”

VA $755
Todd $1800-2400
Lynne $1600

Total $4155-4755
(Todd used to make more like $2400 but his runs have been cut lately)

Church $280
House $715
Electric $200
Heat $69
Cars $601
Insurance $165
Credit Cards $175
Gas $250
Medical $250
Phone $170
Cable $40
Day Care $200
Food $600

Total $3715

Difference $440.00-1040

Again these figures aren’t accurate but let’s pretend…so we have a difference of $440 to play with…our debt break down is this:

House $88500 still owed
Truck $15700 still owed
ATV $6300 still owed
Credit Card $2700 still owed
Credit Card $2500 still owed
Credit Card $2400 still owed

Total $118’100

Ok, so we almost always pay $800 on the house but the house is the one bill that I’m not worried about paying off right now…So I’m thinking that if we pay minimum payments (the $715) and take that extra $85 and put it towards the first credit card listed, when Todd’s income is more than $600 we put that amount towards the first credit card, and when our medical bills are less than $250 the extra goes to the credit card. I would like to have all of our credit cards paid off by October 2009, a very obtainable goal. Then I will concentrate on the ATV and finally the truck payment…but my problem is this…Todd’s income is way lower than it used to be (as almost everyone’s is) so when do I start saving, we’ve always known that if necessary we can live off of my income or his because we would cancel the extras and make all of our food from scratch…it would be tight but it would work. We’d make it work! But it would be so much easier if we had those credit cards paid off. If we didn’t have $7600 sitting over us in debt…that debt is dental expenses and Todd’s truck driving school so it’s not like we put Christmas on the credit cards or a new big screen TV…his job has made us more money than it cost us, so it was worth it, but I hate having it over us! I would like for one to be paid off by our tax return and one to be paid off by March, and the third to be paid off by October…but again, with his diminishing income, it makes me nervous not to have it done now! So, I’m open to suggestions. What do you think? I want honesty and if you think my feelings will be hurt, first of all, it’s VERY hard to hurt my feelings and second, just leave your comment under anonymous

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Life is...

The good stuff is boring. People don't want to hear about my kids decorating the tree, they don't want to hear that my DH makes me happy, that there was no drama at this years Thanksgiving, that I got new dishes, that I spent last Saturday watching Christmas movies with my cousin and her kids eating the yummiest popcorn ever, that we might go to the water park this weekend and Missouri next weekend and that my brother just got a job on the Army Corps of Engineers as a civilian. Because the good stuff is boring. When life is good, life is boring, and I like the boring. So what people (and I mean all people) want is to hear how my cousin brought her dog to my Grandma's house, it's a mean dog, they're teaching to bite (a pit bull I think) and was mad when her mom made her take it to their truck for the evening, how we had three adults standing between that damn dog and my kids because we were sure he was going to bite them, how he growled at them and she laughed, and now she's mad at us. whatever. They want to hear that my cousins wife's family doesn't know that he had three kids before he met her. Even the little dramas are dramas. They want to hear that my sister is still married to her husband even though they've been separated for years and she's had children with other men since then. But those aren't the things I will share today. Today I will share that my life is boring. Thank God.

Monday, December 1, 2008

The Ten Commandments...

My dear friend and I are lone rangers in Junior Church, left to our own devices...but we have a total of 6 kids. So it's L and I versus the six of them! 5 of those are boys and 5 of those belong to us! We aren't a wealthy church so to save some money Todd and I have donated some of the supplies needed, L and A (L's DH) have donated lots of supplied, time and energy! So when we were left weeks ago without a lesson, we made it up, we launched a 12 week study on the 10 Commandments...or God's Rules if you ask Destiny! We're on week 4 (Commandment 3) this week and it's going so well that we may repeat the study in two years to see if we can't get them to have them memorized, at the end of our hard core study we will have a program where we will present the 6 children who are consistently in class, telling the lessons we've taught with each of the Commandments...we aren't teaching the Biblical wording (it's hard to understand) but we are teaching the meaning, with a story from the Bible to back us up!

#1 No Other God's - - This was taught with Adam and Eve, Eve ate the fruit, so that she could become God like, but there are NO OTHER GOD'S!

#2 No Idols - - King N melted down all the gold to make a giant statue of himself for the people to worship, and those who refused would be thrown into the furnace, three refused but when he threw them in, he saw a fourth person, it was an Angel, who protected them from the flames. King N then proclaimed that God was the only being to be worshipped, and there were to be no more idols!

#3 Love God's Name - - David and Goliath - Goliath mocked God saying that even God couldn't beat him, David said that through the power of God, someone as small as David could beat Goliath, we used the big kids versus the little kids, and there was lots of yelling and "war" but in the end, David won because he had God in his corner!

And the best part is that my kids and recite these three, and even know what I mean when they recite them to me!