Friday, October 31, 2008

Bad Day but Feeling Good!

Last night was trick-or-treat and walking with my cousin gave me a chance to talk to her about a referral we got for a little boy in Asia, he is 13 months old with Downs. We got the referral yesterday afternoon. Todd was very resistant but we have one week to give our answer, then he will go to a different agency. We have pictures, medical info and the "getting started" paper work. We decided to pray for a few days before giving an answer, we aren't really talking about it, monetarily it would take me just days to be ready, emotionally I am ready, my heart has been softening to downs lately, it is no longer scary for me, it's something my family and I could do...but...there are oh so many reasons not to accept the referral...and just one reason to take it...but the one reason to take Azar into our family is a big one, a good one, an important one. Then today we found out that the little girl we applied to adopt won't be ours, the agency narrowed the 300 applications down to 5 and we weren't among them. As long as she goes to a good home then I'm ok with it. The thing is that I'm at peace with all of this. it's exhausting and sad but I'm ok with all of it. It's been a rough day but I feel good about it.

Trick or Treat

Tuesday night was the Halloween party at my Aunt Luann's house, followed by trick or treating around Cridersville and then last night was trick or treat in Wapakoneta, my kids went out for both and we now have a house full of candy...aren't I a lucky girl. Last night my cousin told me about the candy her daughter got while t-or-t ing in Cridersville, and after getting home for the evening Pacey found a candy bar (full size) in her a good little six year old she asked her Mommy if she could eat the Sn*ickers bar...of course she could, eat one thing and then be done for the night. Afterwards Cathy picked up the wrapper to throw it away when something looked different about the wrapper...Sn*ickers....ENERGY BAR! Pacey had eaten an energy bar at 9:30 pm HOLY COW! She bounced off the furniture until 2 AM!! It was hysterical! She was like a bouncy ball that you can't get control of! Cathy of course wasn't nearly amused as I am but it was so funny! Moral of the story...check the Halloween candy!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Scarlet Letter

Growing up, I used to sit under the arm of the couch and listen to my parents talking at the kitchen table...I vividly remember feeling very sneaky and knowing I shouldn't be there. I remember hearing from a very young age that I had two specific uncles maybe three that were cheating on my aunts. I remember thinking that they should divorce, that my cousins would be okay, if only my uncle would come home or my aunt would change the locks. Later in life, I had another uncle cheat, this time the whole family knew it, we all wanted him to come home and make things okay, be the man we expected him to be. Just come home. This shaped my mind, my thoughts, my feelings on adultery. It wasn't something women did, it was those icky men who would do anything for a piece! So when a wave of women (in my family) started straying, I was shocked to say the least! I didn't understand and everything I knew about adulterers was shaken and challenged! Starting with the most basic facts, gender and motive. I didn't get it, why would a woman cheat, why would she stray...women aren't driven by the same motives as a man...or are we? Are we missing something...each of us. And no matter what we aren't what would satisfy us? I have never bought anything stood back from my prized possessions and said "now I'm happy and will never need anything again" I've never had someone come into my life and known they were all I needed to be happy for the rest of my life (sorry Todd, not even you), I've never eaten anything that would sustain me for the rest of me life. But God...he sustains me. I will never need to go anywhere else for salvation, for answers, guidance, love and forgiveness. If I have everything stripped from me, my home, my family, my food, and my dignity, it doesn't matter. This is all so temporary...I used to say, I can do anything for a week....then it turned into two weeks, I could do anything for a year. But no...I can do anything for a lifetime because it's so short in the scheme of things, it's a blink of an eye and my happiness waits for me. I'm not saying that in a bad relationship you should stay because you can do anything, I'm saying that don't do it just because you're bored and when you have, don't wear your scarlet letter, I've done wrong in EVERY relationship I've ever had, so I won't throw stones, and neither should anyone else. Don't let people determine who you are based on one act. If you should, go home and try to make your family whole again, if the relationship wasn't healthy and died, then stop, step back, fix what happened, sever the ties that need severed and then move on, but don't wear your scarlet letter for all to see. That's between you and God.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Today has been two years. Two years since life was turned upside down. Two years since my little boy grew up, all in one day. Two years since life changed forever.

Monday, October 27, 2008

I have a confession.

I don't let too many people know this about me, so I'm letting you in. My secret is...I love holidays. I love everything about them, I love the smell, the sound, the anticipation and of course the taste! Every year we have traditions that we keep up and some years we make new traditions. Traditions keep the kids coming home, and are the memories we carry. I don't remember what I got for Christmas and when, but I do remember the special things, the traditions and knowing what we'd be doing, anticipating those special days. When I was growing up, we spent every holiday (EVERY HOLIDAY) at my Gramma Sweet's house, no one went out of town and no one planned much with their husbands families on those special days. We spent all day Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas with my whole family. We'd eat and nap, play games, and talk, open gifts if there were any to open and just have a great day! My cousins and I are all very close, we're very active in each others lives, as active as we are with our siblings. It never mattered who we were with, it was like being with our own parents because they loved us all equally. Last year things changed up a little bit, my Dad was too sick to go to Thanksgiving for long and to Christmas at just Todd, the boys and I went. As adults and family in our own respect, we're still forming our own traditions, still deciding what we will continue to do in the coming years, what will keep our kids coming home. We have basics, the important stuff, but it's the little stuff too. It's waking up to a certain smell that screams "it's Christmas" going to bed with a certain thought in mind. For me, it's spending the night at Gramma Sweets house on Christmas night with my cousin Tim (my birth year twin - we all have one - another post) and maybe my brother. Now having kids of my own, I realize how special that time must have been for my parents to have that night, just for them, and how much it may have helped my Gramma not be too lonely on Christmas night. But alas, we have to figure out what works for us, and because my siblings are so inconsistent we can never count on them to do the same things twice for a holiday so none of our tradition can revolve around it revolves around the people who are a constant. And the things that I can count on. I love holidays for the constants, for the traditions and for the surprises.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Do I really want to start over?

Sometimes I doubt myself. Not my abilities or my capabilities, but my real desires. Do I really want to start at square one? Do I really want to go back to the beginning? I'm good at beginnings, but I struggle in the middle, I get "lazy" or complacent. So do I really want to start over? Do I really want one more person in my house to whine at me? Ask when supper will be? Hand money to every Friday night? And Monday morning? Do I want 3 more years of too little to do? Do I want to mess with the dynamics of four? Four is a good number, my friends stopped at four. Four is what the world is made of. A booth or table at a restaurant. A Disney land vacation package, for a family of four. Roller coasters were made for even numbers, not for five. The world was made for four. So why would we want to battle against all of that. Pay for one more, feed one more, clothe one more. Because my family isn't complete. Not because of my "idea" of a family but because of my idea of MY family. I went through phases in my life and for a short time in my early twenties I didn't want any children, but that's not me. For as long as I can remember I've been mesmerized by mega families. I've never wanted one for myself but I find them fascinating. I don't have the patience for more than 5 kids but am not opposed to as many as 5. Life, the economy, healthy and God will of course determine where we stop, but 3 is right for me. Todd goes back and forth, but for now, 3 is my number. Lane and Ethan will be nearly 7 when we have baby number 3...if we don't adopt. We will know in about a week if we'll be adopting, and if not, we will start TTC #3 in January.

I of course know that I already have 3 children, but we've done all for Braden that we can.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A Couple of Firsts...

When you go away and leave your child
in the "capable" hands of your husband,
this is what happens...they get their first
lesson in shooting. Nice Todd, thanks.

P.S. This is not a picture of them actually
shooting. This is a picture of them after
they had already shot and were taking
pictures to commemorate the occasion.
He doesn't take pictures of the birthday
parties, or the milestones, but he wouldn't
dare forget the picture of their first time

First day of school, aren't they cute!

Girls Night Out Rocks!

So, our much needed girls night out was so much fun! We went, we ate, some of us drank, and I think we might have been the loudest group in the place! But that's ok because we also had the most fun! We have decided that we will make it monthly thing and I'm so glad we are! It was great to catch up with the girls...the conversations were different but nothing has changed! Maybe at some point we'll invite the guys for one of our Girls Nights...then again, maybe not!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Botanicals Garden...

Ethan was sitting over a waterfall watching
the water turn white at the bottom

This was posed by Todd, he's
sitting on a log that's hanging
over a swamp of sorts

I think they were pooped at this point and
ready to go home...

could that face be any sweeter!?!?

So sweet it needs said thrice!

Hanging out on the dock, over looking a pond

This, believe it or not, is a natural shot
Todd and I came around a turn on a path
and found them being brotherly. They were
of course posing but we didn't set them up.
This is my favorite picture of them of all time!
They're precious and love each other, that's obvious!
Todd loved taking these pictures and we've decided he needs a decent camera, this one wouldn't allow him to zoom in far enough or take the quality of pictures that we want...I went shopping last night and found a camera that I like better, and will give the quality we want...there's also a high speed memory card so that we can take pictures faster...with small children it's hard to get the pictures when the camera takes FOREVER!

Looking close, who would ever guess these two are brothers...let alone twins!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Girls Night Out and Halloween (edited)

Tonight for the first time in a long time I will be going out with the girls! You read that right, I'm going to dinner at the yummiest restaurant in town! Lock 16 here we come! YUM! I love Lock 16, we went there one night with the boys, we took Happy Meals for them because I was too new to Diabetes to figure Lane's meal, the manager met me at the door telling me he couldn't allow the extra food in the restaurant, I said Ok, and asked for all nutritional info for everything they serve, he some how saw it in his heart to let us in with Happy Meals and told us we were always welcome to bring our own food in, what a nice guy! They have a seafood platter that is fresh and yummy and more food than I could eat in one sitting...I think I'll order that! Heather and Sarah (friends all through high school) and I have recently reconnected and all need a night out! We also plan on going Christmas shopping together! I'm very excited! I've never actually gone shopping with someone!

Ok, and the Halloween edit...we went costume shopping last night and they both changed their minds...they don't want to be a ninja or a pirate...they instead, both want to be bloody doctors with bloody knives...yuck! LOL!! I'm hoping the littler cousins at the party and trick-or-treating won't be scared or grossed out by them! They're both very excited, Ethan had picked his pirate costume when Lane Michael decided on his costume and looked at Lane's costume with big longing eyes, and I asked if he was ok with a pirate...he wasn't so he switched over! They're little Dr. Kevorkian's! LOL!! What a fun year!

Monday, October 20, 2008


I love Halloween, well kind of. I love a lot of stuff about Halloween! I like the pumpkins and the costumes, the lights and decorations! I don't like the trick-or-treating for obvious reasons but I love the idea of it! I love the parties and the carving of pumpkins, the start of fall the brisk air, I love it! This year my kids are choosing (for the first time) non-character costumes! Yippee! Lane Michael wants to be a ninja and Ethan wants to be a skelaton pirate...I'm not sure how or where I will find this costume (other than the $30 one at Childrens Place) but I'm sure I can...I'm very excited! This week is costume week! I can't wait!

Three was Good Enough for Jesus.

Yes I know that the Wise men didn't show up the day after Jesus was born to shower him with gifts, I know he was closer to two years old by the time they got to him (give the guys a break, they were probably old and it was a really long trip), any way, they brought with them gifts for the Savior. Gold Frankincense and Myrrh. Three gifts...good enough for Jesus, good enough for my kids. Last year after reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and snuggling our little boys into their toddler beds, Todd and I headed down stairs to get Christmas ready, we wrapped gifts, assembled scooters and after hours of hard work and Christmas movies, we stood back and admired our work. It was beautiful, the tree glowed and the shiny paper twinkled in the dimly lit room. And I counted...17 gifts each, and thought to myself "is 17 enough?" it was a wake up call and a shameful moment of parenthood. I had become that parent, the one that materializes Christmas, the most sacred of days, equalled only by Easter, and I had made it into an excuse to give my kids toys. I had used it against them, to gain good behavior and in turn given them gifts...stuff they would never use and hadn't asked for. I was ashamed of myself. So, from this, we have learned and made some decisions regarding Christmas. From now on, each of our children will get three good gifts that they have asked for specifically. We will spend a set dollar amount and will stick to it. Instead of spending the morning opening 17 gifts, we will get up, get down stockings, go through them, have breakfast...each helping to prepare it, open gifts, listen to music and watch a Christmas movie or show and then we will take out time to do a Bible study, say a prayer of thanksgiving and wish Jesus a happy birthday. We will remember and instill the true meaning of Christmas. I'm so excited! This year, instead of buying anything I can think of that they might like, I will put thought into each gift, knowing that I have to make it count, I only have three slots, use them wisely. Now for anyone who thinks this is mean and/or cruel, please know that my children then get cash for their birthday (January 24) quickly followed by a trip to the toy store where they can choose anything we forgot or decided against, they love it and so do we!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Top Ten Favorites

Lane and Ethan are both very different and unique, I have very vivid memories of each of them...they're as different now as they were when they were just moments old. When we found out we were having twins we were shocked...I wondered then what it was going to be like, and I often hear of twins having to strive for their own identity, but with the boys, we've never had a problem. So here is a list of my favorite memories from them as individuals

Lane Michael:
10. When Lane Michael was six months old, he was fitted for a helmet that would correct the shape of his skull, he never cried, even with this helmet on, he never knew/cared/cried.

9. Lane started singing when he was just a few months old, he would hum with whoever was holding him, or even just the radio, he loved/loves to sing.

8. When Lane Michael was three he wanted something for Christmas that sounded to us like "train" but two weeks before Christmas we took him to the eye doctor who asked what he wanted for Christmas Lane told him, the doctor turned towards me and said 'oh a transformer would be fun' THANK YOU DR FLECK we never would have guessed and it was the only thing he wanted and asked was also the only thing he played with!

7. Before Lane was diagnosed with diabetes, he would really struggle at meal times, so my Dad would take him to the shop and "work" until dinner was ready, it was the only way to calm Lane down for about a year before diagnosis.

6. When Lane was diagnosed, I walked into the PICU and there laid my three year old, so tiny in that big bed, he opened his eyes slowly, and said very soothingly "Mom, I have diadabetes"

5. My friend Rachel made the boys blankets to come to Ohio with, she sent them down with my Mom, Lane hasn't put his down went to Petersburg with us last weekend.

4. Lane started singing early but my all time favorite songs he sings are "Hey hey You you, I don't like your boyfriend" "Shot through the heart" and "I love you" which is shouting "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I LOVE YOU" the last line is screamed. Precious.

3. Listening to Lane Michael say his prayers at night, he started when he was barely able to talk, now he says them like a pro!

2. Taking Lane to Cedar Point this summer...he's usually very cautious about what we do with them, but he rode and loved roller coasters and water slides, it was the best!

1. I went shopping with the boys when they were two, I was trying on jeans, and Lane said shocked and sympathetically "Mom those jeans make your butt look HUGE" LOL!!! My little shopping buddy!


10. When the boys were being treated for jaundice, they were under the Billy Ruben lights and Ethan got his little knees up under himself and scooted until he found Lane the nurse said that she could tell he'd be my bad one...not bad, just energetic

9. During my pregnancy Ethan had the hiccups was fun at first...but a little annoying after the first few months

8. When Ethan was 18 months old he was "helping" my Dad work out in the shop, I went out to get them for dinner and Ethan was in the door way dancing, he got so excited and was going to pick up both legs and fell right on his butt, it was cutest thing ever!

7. Ethan didn't sleep for the first six months of his life, I swear he didn't...I was exhausted, and he was not! GRR! LOL!!

6. When Ethan was about 20 mos old he took a real interest in playing ball, he could catch,, whatever! At 3 he could play ball with a 4 ft basket and at 4 he could play with a 6 ft basket...he's a TINY kid, so that's way smaller than the average 3 and 4 yr old.

5. At my Dad's funeral everyone was fine, holding it together, we all sat down, and just as the pastor started to speak Ethan let out the loudest sob ever, everyone started crying, we just needed him to get us started.

4. Ethan has the bluest eyes and the blackest hair. My aunt who's older than my Dad said she's never seen a kid look more like my Dad than Ethan. I love that about him

3. The first time I tried to give Lane Michael a shot, Ethan tackled me and screamed "that's my blother!!"

2. Ethan loves stuffed animals more than any kid I know. He carries them, plays with them and loves them. Strange for a boy!

1. Ethan truly believes he's part monkey, he can climb any tree you ask of him and will eat bananas just because they're monkey food!

Ok and because I can't resist, I'm going to list some of the best things about twins

They weren't identical but they still spoke their own language, the one that sticks out most in my mind was them called each other "Nonnie"

They held hands a lot for the first year!

They slept in the same crib for about the first year!

They love each other as much as I love them.

I can love them so much, so deeply and so independently from each other!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Prayers Needed...

A seventh grader was hit by a car this morning on his way to school. They Life Flighted him to Toledo, his injuries are mainly in his legs. We are asking for prayers for his family and for him, for his doctors, the driver of the vehicle, and the friends who witnessed this horrible accident. Pray for peace, knowledge and healing power, but most of all pray God's will be done.

disclaimer: this is all second hand information, and is of course subject to change.

Huge Compliment!!

I love love LOVE my house! I do! Our first house was a farm OLD farm house (IRL friends can vouch) it left a lot to be desired (no exaggeration) it had a lot of potential that I could never make it live up to, the house was huge and wood work was breath taking, but it was cold, the bathroom was UGLY and the orange shag carpet was starting to wear thin, so we sold it and bought our new home, which is beautiful! So when the local specialty shop approached me about shooting parts of their commercial in my house....well that just made me all-a-flutter! So tonight, they will choose between my bedroom (red twall) or my living room with the most beautiful wooden shudders you've ever seen...I think they'll go with the living room and shudders...either way, I'm having a commercial shot at my house...and the actress is none other than my neice...she'll be doing all the local specialty shops commercials, there are at least 7 different shops using her! Go Hailey, she was made for the camera! She has deep brown eyes, fiery red curls and olive skin, and a natural beauty mark under her right eye! Gorgeous! I'm so terribly excited!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

When you take Christ out of Christmas

I have family and friends (no names - no judgement) who don't believe in God. I'm scared for them and worried for them. But I'm also bothered by them. When they give/get Christmas gifts...why? It's just another day, nothing special, just a day, just a cold day. What right do you have to celebrate a holiday you don't believe in? To benefit from the birth of my Savior, who you don't even believe in. You should be at work (if it falls on a week day) You should be treating it with no more grandeur than any other day, you should not be eating feasts, shopping and making up Christmas lists. But Christians as a whole are too polite to tell you to go home, you are not welcome at our Christmas celebration, because you do not believe in Christ. I do love my neighbor, treat him as I would want to be treated, but Christmas is one of the many perks to being a Christian...I feel the same way about people taking Good Friday and Easter off work. Those are not holidays for non-Christians. The thing is, non-Christians don't respect Christians or Christianity enough to care that they are disrespecting God and Jesus by celebrating, they just want the gifts.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Funerals...Reserved for the Revered?

I had a client in a few moments ago who had lost her husband last week...a week ago today. It was unexpected and a tragedy. I am sad for her loss, but also for the loss of yet another of this great nation's great veterans. They had his funeral on Saturday, and I'm sure many came out to honor his life. So many showed to give last respects and say good bye to my Dad. Why do we go to funerals? The person has passed on, and we're sad, we go for the family, to show support and love. I regret having such a large funeral for Braden, I didn't mean for it to be that big. I wanted close family and friends, I didn't put an obituary in the paper, just the death announcement. My boss e-mailed all my co-workers around Ohio, and in my building, anyone that might know me. My Mom called the Schweiterman and Clementz families, Todd called his family, I didn't call anyone. I expected at most my sisters, my parents, Becca, Rachel, the Schwietermans and the four of us. Instead the church filled with family and friends wanting to say good-bye instead of hello. Would they have come to his baptism? Not most of them. But they did, they came and they grieved, they knew my loss, and loved my son, who they never met. But I regret it. Why did he get as big a turn out as some people who have made an impact on this world. But Braden had an impact on my world. My sister and I were brought together through Braden, she knew what I was going through and was able to grieve her own losses with Braden, my cousin experienced a similar loss just months later, and was able to identify with me and with my loss, we have been brought closer in spirit thru this, and Rebecca went to Bible study with me. If I had Braden, a happy healthy bouncing growing boy who never slowed down long enough for a diaper change let alone a good nights sleep, I wouldn't have gone to Bible study in the first time, no energy and Bible studies are for old ladies...But I didn't have those things, instead I had hours of unfilled emptiness, days of grief and I needed to fill my head, my mouth, my spirit and my soul with God's unending love, mercy, grace and peace. And I needed Rebecca beside me. But Braden didn't have the impact that a child who had lived would have, he didn't have the impact that an adult would have, so why was he honored with as much attention as those people? Did his funeral provide closure for me? Yes, but I feel like I was the conductor of a three ring circus "Come One Come All, See the dead baby and his grieving family!!! Its like nothing you've ever witnessed!!" Yuck.

Creation Museum

This weekend I was NOT kidnapped after all! Instead we spent Friday night with my mom, then instead of going camping, we just stayed home, Saturday morning Todd got us all up for breakfast at the IHOP, followed by a quick trip to the mall (Ethan seriously had three pairs of jeans so we had to buy a few more), after that Todd took Ethan camping in a friends woods while Lane and I went to a friends 13th birthday party, it was fun but reminded me all the reasons I would never do 13 again! It was torture watching the birthday girl make eyes at the boy that she likes and he likes her but they're friends and it would be akward and Daddy doesn't allow dating (neither would I, just for the record) and the friends all saw what was going on, so it made it even more akward...thank God I'm thru all of that. Then afterwards we went and played cards at the H-ers...Todd drove over on his ATV to join us (we needed a fourth)...the next morning Lane and I went to the way, life is EASY with one child! WOW! Then when Todd got home from camping, he took us all to the Creation Museum. There was the most beautiful botanicals garden there, so we took pictures of the boys on the bridges and next to the waterfalls...or brooks, whatever they're called....I'll share the pics on Thursday when they get delivered! Overall it was a good weekend, then on Monday my office was closed for Columbus Day, so the boys went off to school while my Mom and I started painting her new bedroom! Good times all around!

Friday, October 10, 2008

I'm being Kidnapped...

Todd had planned to take his boys camping this weekend, give me a free weekend and them some good bonding time...but no, instead we are all going to spend the weekend bonding with the dinosaurs. I'm not sure where or why, just that we are. It should be a great photo opportunity and lots of fun for the boys! There's also an Oktoberfest this weekend that we'll have to make an appearance should be fun! I'm a bit of a homebody, so we all know where I'd rather be...but I will pack up some cute outfits and spend as much time as possible getting cute pics of my family....they're getting so big so won't be long before they will be embarrassed to be seen with us! After all we are a third of the way to driving! So at least maybe I can get a little schnokered at Oktoberfest! tehehe! shhh, don't tell DH! He'll never see it coming!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Good Ole Days

Germany was great, I did a lot of traveling while I was there...we went to Switzerland during the fall and the first day they gave us a wake board and sent us down the rapids, it was fun and dangerous and I'd do it again in a heart beat! The next day we went canyoning (we were jumping off water falls into the pools at the bottom) it was so great! We got about 1 mile into the 2 mile course, and someone (just playing around) pretended to push me off the waterfall...except I actually fell and broke my ankle, the waterfall was about 12 ft tall so I was pretty lucky that it was just my ankle, the guide offered to have me medi-vaced out...but I didn't have a pass to be in Switzerland, so if they found out I was in Switzerland when this happened I would get into trouble, so instead we took off my wet suit shoes and put my foot in the water to slow the swelling, then we finished the course by lowering me down the water falls on a rope seat, thank God we had three really strong guys with us! Then at the end we had to climb a HUGE hill 89 degrees (I swear) so the female guide told me to start climbing on my hands and knees and no matter what, don't stop, I got a few feet up and she put her shoulder against my hip and seriously pushed me up this hill, I was trying to help but I'm sure I was completely helpless and she has just carrying me, it was hysterical, she was so tiny and there were lots of men she could have had help but she just did it! It was awesome, I ended up breaking my ankle pretty bad...that was in late August 2001, I walked in my brothers wedding September 3, 2001 and on September 12 I had to have the cast removed so that I could help pull guard duty, the doctors shot my ankle full of steriods and pain killers, gave me a gun and put me to work, my unit was the only unit on the installation and we were a detachment, we had a total of 35 people in our unit, take out the Commander, Chief and 1st SGT, the pregnant females and crazy or profile males and what you're left with are slim pickings, we didn't get relieved until November and even then they didn't send enough soldiers to cover us! We had General Meigs in Heidelberg, and they found out our Class 6 girl (very good friend to everyone on post) and our barber (nice enough guy) were terrorists...Class 6 even had letters of Osama Bin Laden in her apartment and pics and supplies to bomb the installation, very scary stuff! But because of having the cast taken off so soon, my ankle never healed right, so now my ankle hitches when I run, walk, squat, do stairs, it doesn't hurt that bad, just hitches...Did 9/11 directly affect you?

Our five year anniversary...

Last year was our five year anniversary...we forgot. Oops. But we did have this pic taken...I think it's at a friends's the most recent picture of me...that's sad. For our five year we were going to get new wedding sets...we want each of our children to have a set, each set will have a different engagement ring was bought in Germany on Todd's way home from Iraq...yes we were already married when I finally got a diamond...what can I say, we had twins. Anyways, my parents never remembered their anniversary, so the fact that we even got the pic is pretty good, so I thought, since I had it loaded up anyway, I would share...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Walk For a Cure

This weekend we Walked for a Cure! It was a good weekend, and we really enjoyed it, Lane loved seeing other kids with diabetes and Ethan loved being on the go the whole time! They had a wonderful time, and I need to thank Captain Rebecca the Great for heading up our team and raising money, Aunt Landa for walking and raising money, my Captain Cousin Kellei for heading up our team on Sunday and raising money, Aunt Theresa for walking and raising money, my Mom who came in spirit but was too sick to walk (she donated and bought us lunch) and Todd Lane and Ethan for walking with us, the boys were really well behaved and never caused a fuss! It was a great weekend and brings hope that someday Lane will be cured! Although if you ask him he'll tell you "but I love my diabetes"

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Getting Life in Order...

Sometimes life is too much...there's too much to do, too much stuff and too much time. When my Dad passed in July, my Aunt Dina went through the house busying the 15 children with cleaning and helping...but then everyone went home, my brother went back to NY with his wife and 3 kids, my sister back to Urbana with her 4 kids, my other sister back to Lima with her 4, and there we were. My Mom and me...I went back to work/home, and she didn't. Mom never worked outside the home, she paints "hand-painted furniture" for her sisters shop in Wapak (ever in OH stop by Wapakoneta's Casa Chic - - cutest shop in Wapakoneta). But her sisters then wanted her to stay busy, so they brought her furniture to paint...and then the paint came out to paint the pieces, and then more furniture came out...and pretty soon she was in over her head, so I took off Thursday, Friday and Monday to help get things where they needed to go, and I have to say, we did a pretty damn good job! We got all of her living space back to living space, we got her furniture into storage space and the pieces she's working on, into her work space, we organized her paints and threw away the stuff she isn't keeping, took a load to Goodwill and got moving in the right direction. I also got to have a lot of good conversations about what she wants, where she can go from here and just in general good talking. We talked about whether she would date someday, and at first she wasn't really willing to discuss it...she thought I would be against it...I'm not at all! We talked about if she would move, where she would go, and when. We talked about classes she could/should and interior decorating, I think she would love it! And I got to tell her that I resent Lou for coming in and making this huge mess, going through and taking what he wanted and leaving the rest for us to deal with (that I don't resent) but do I resent that he then said that when Mom passes and I get everything, he's going to keep his thumb on me until I get it he isn't because I refuse to be bullied into taking off time to get the house ready for sale when he's not here doing his part, I would lose vacation time doing it and only get equal shares from the house. So he will wait until I have it done...I will not be bullied by him...I was for a long time, I was bullied and guilt tripped and I refuse to ever be under his thumb again.

For Braden...

Courtesy of Antigone.
Directly from her site:October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data.
H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.Action Steps:Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the wordStep 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."GOAL: 1,000,000 Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages - most of which have nothing to do with the bill.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Smart A$$!!

My kids are great...really they are. Most of the time. They're both witty in their own way, Lane Michael thinks before he speaks but not before he acts, Ethan doesn't think about anything in advance, All impulse all the time! So last night when I was telling the boys we were going to go to the Y before dinner it surprised me when Lane Michael threw caution to the wind and said "it'll be nice when you get back in shape" What?!?!? Did that really come out of my five year old!?!? I asked what he knew about getting in shape and he said I should run more and take better care of myself so that I can take care of him...I'd like to know who's been preaching at my child! Then he says to me "after you're done exercising, we need to go to the store, we're out of yeast and I want some bread for breakfast" WHAT!?!?! How does he know we're out of yeast? He looked before he left for school in the morning! My five year old is a culinery nerd! Ethan chimes in that while we're at the store he would like a soda please. NO!! If I have to take care of myself, you have to take care of yourself! So, since my children have now noticed that I need to take better care of me, I guess it's time to get back to the track! Besides, I'm getting a new wardrobe and I'd like to be one size smaller when we go shopping! I love shopping! I especially want to get new work clothes...I am 26 and work with mostly old men...90% of my clients are men (veterans - - WWII, Korea and Viet Nam) and a vast majority of them have a problem with a woman in my position, I'm ok with that but because of it, I have started to dress more masculine because they respond better to me that way...but I have now been in my position long enough that they know me, are used to me and will respond to me, maybe even request me. It's a good feeling but now I have to dress like I belong here. I also need some play group of friends is rather diverse, some are t-shirts and others are "outfits" kinds of people (I'm somewhere in the middle)...I'd like to be an "outfit kind of girl"complete with accessories and cute shoes and purses. If we're going to have a little girl, I need to be able to model for her, what a girl dresses like and even for my boys I need to model for them what to look for in a my marriage I try to think about what we're teaching our children about marriage and partnership when dealing with any situation. I blame my Mom for my spending habits. She never spent money on her, my Dad however has a million toys, always did...she never (I mean that literally) told him no. He had more guns, tools and cars when he passed than any man should. I think I may have learned this from my Mom. My DH gets what he asks for...I may make him wait a few years but eventually he gets the 4-wheeler, he gets the Mustang, the 12 guns, the tools, the Ipod, the Blackberry (I don't even know if that's the word I want) but my point is I want to be a better model for my kids when it comes to financial decisions. Now, I have to say, I had the best childhood ever, we traveled about 3 times a year (my Dad traveled with work) and I never wanted for anything...there's only one thing I can think of that I wanted and didn't was a stuffed dog, but if that's the only thing I was denied...I think I'm doing pretty good!

Wow, this post is all over the place - - sorry for the inconsistency!