Friday, January 15, 2010

I work 2 blocks from my home for a reason!

Yesterday was a bad day. I had only had 2-3 hours of sleep and it was definitely shaping up to be bad. Just bad. At 3:00 I left the office to go to a home visit in a nearby town (St Marys), a 20 minute drive (to the other side of the small town). As I turned onto my destination road (10 more miles) I got a call, Rebecca. I thought Lane's sugar must be off. No, worse. much worse. The boys didn't get off the bus at her house like they're supposed to every Tuesday and Thursday when Todd is in school. There was a sub, maybe they're still on the bus. I called the school bus garage. Neither bus has them and they aren't at the school. This is one of my biggest fears in life. If they had been on the bus to go home then they had been dropped off 25 minutes earlier and there were lots of bad scenarios running through my mind. This was bad. I was hysterical. I called my Mom

me: *sob* WHERE ARE YOU *sob*
Mom: I'm coming, where are you?
me: *sob* the boys got off the bus at our house 25 minutes ago *sob sob sob* no one is there *sob sob sob*
Mom: I'm on my way.
hang up
two minutes later she calls back to tell me she and Landa are on their way, each going a different direction looking for them. Mom was with them within 5 minutes of us finding out there was a problem, Lane's sugar was 59, low but not the emergency it could have been. They had locked themselves in the back porch and were freaking out. They clung to Mom for the rest of the afternoon. They were scared but they were ok. *sigh* I have rarely been that scared as a parent and we've been through lots of scary times! Lane's first seizure (10 months old), Ethan jumping off the roof, Lane's diabetes diagnosis week, Lane's second seizure, Ethan's body temp dropping to 93 at 2 days old, Lane's third seizure, fourth and fifth. All very scary stuff! This was different, there was no one to tell us it would be ok, there was any number of things that could have happened! Twenty five minutes of unsupervised activities, they could have been in the road, they could have been taken, Lane could have had a seizure, his blood sugar could have plummeted, Ethan could have chased a cat into the road, he could have hurt himself jumping off of something else. There are just so many possibilities! Ugh!

Friday, January 8, 2010

That time of year!

You know what I mean! The time of year I wait for, the time I yearn for! That time when I get to sit down and look at how we've done, where we're going and set goals! Yes you guessed it FINANCIAL PLANNING TIME! YEAH!!! I am that nerd. I love financial planning. It makes me perfect for my job since my job is to look at other peoples finances, tweak what I can and help them dig out! *sigh* my dream job! Anyways! This is about MY finances and this year I will be more open and honest than ever. I will trust you with my actual numbers. So here it goes. Be nice but I am wide open to any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and any suggestions:

$827 monthly
$834 (my check)
$906 (Todd's check)
$3401 TOTAL

$725 house
$426 truck
$176 ATV
$200 credit cards (don't judge)
$130 Verizon cell phones (2 lines)
$70 cable/Internet
$200 electric
$110 heat
$170 insurance
$2207 TOTAL

Leaving a difference of $1194. I obviously had to do some rounding and estimating as our electric and phone are never the same month to month and I pay a little extra on the house, truck, ATV and credit cards. I this year will change that strategy...instead of paying a little extra to each of these, I will pay more towards the credit cards and no extra to the house, truck and ATV. Also with our tax return we will pay off one credit card, leaving us with just one credit card to concentrate on. The balance on the larger credit card is $3200 and the other is $2900. I will pay off the larger first (these credit cards didn't used to have a balance but we had to pay for Todd's truck driving school immediately or face large penalties and credit score problems - -this schooling did profit us more than cost us, even on the credit cards - my credit card will then be used for my travel with work but will be paid off immediately as I am reimbursed for travel). So that leaves $1194 for food, gas and medications (Lane's cost about $150 and mine about $25 each month). Groceries are probably $600/month (this used to be less but we pay for formula)and gas is about $200. Which leaves a gap of $300 to "play with". I will start putting this toward more savings and the credit card bill probably $100 to savings and $200 to credit cards in hopes of paying off the second credit card this year....The $200 payment I have listed is the minimum payment for both credit cards, when one is payed off, I will roll that payment over to the next that rate I stand a fairly good shot at paying off the $2900 by next January and next tax season I can roll that return into my ATV payment and hopefully pay it off (we owe about $5000 on it and with paying another year on it, the pay off maybe low enough by then *cross fingers*). Ok, bring it on, what can we change or rearrange!? I'm always up for suggestions!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Happy Birthday B.

I still see you.
I hear you at night,
at bedtime, saying your prayers,
saying a sleepy goodnight,
I watch you follow your brothers,
tell you to be gentle with Baby Ryan,
and snuggle you when you slip on the ice.
When the big boys play a game you inevitably kick the pieces and have to sit in time out.
When Ryan cries, you come, eager to "help" with "Wyan."
I miss you being their brother
as much as I miss you being my son.
I miss only the thought of you
as we never got to meet face to face.
I miss what could have been
what should have been.
My "Middle child"
one of my 4 best boys.
Never too beautiful for earth
I don't believe in that sentiment.
I think you had more purpose than that
I don't want you minimized and this sentiment (while meant with wonderful intentions) seems to minimize who you are to us.
I don't believe God took you too soon,
but in perfect timing.
His perfect timing
but that doesn't mean you wouldn't have been a wonderful young man
the other night we were all watching a movie, Lane and Ethan on their bean bags, Ryan up with me on the big couch and Todd on the little one...I couldn't help but see you on your own bean bag, such a big boy and when Ethan whispered "sweet" you looked at him adoringly and whispered "fweet" because in my head, that's how you talk. And that's how I know you. I piece together your brothers at that age, Baby Grant and little Eli Braden, and I create my own personal little you. Which also seems to minimize you....making you less you and more my "perfect" you. I want nothing more or less you...just you.