Friday, October 29, 2010

CPS is failing this boy.

I know that I can't possibly know everything going on with this case. I know that I'm on the outside and not in the loop. I also know that this Little Guy is slipping through the cracks quickly. I'll back up. When we moved into town we had these neighbors...a little strange but nice and quiet, they moved out, the house went into foreclosure...this summer someone finally moved in...shortly after his girlfriend and her son moved in...we'll call him LG (little guy). Lane Michael and Ethan were so excited to have a new friend and neighbor. Turns out he was in school with them the year before....and hadn't been nice to Lane Michael. Lane Michael said LG was different had changed and he had forgiven him. They played for the first few hours without incident. Then the Mom showed up on my door step...I was worried. She asked if LG could hang with us for a few hours, she had to leave. I said that if she had something she needed to take care of he was absolutely welcome to hang out, I asked for a number I could reach her at and if he had allergies and what time to expect her back...she didn't know when she'd be back, gave me a contact number, I told her my boys were going to bed at 11 and if she wasn't back by then, I'd just make him a bed on their floor...or let them all camp in the living room. Honestly I was afraid if I said no she'd leave him with any of my several creepy neighbors. A couple hours later her boyfriend showed up on our doorstep and asked for LG (we knew boyfriend was not Dad) we called the number his Mom gave us and her friend told us that she was too drunk to flag. She went on to offer up that Mom wasn't supposed to drink and has a CPS case open against her for drinking and that if they found out LG would be removed...we didn't know what to do. We couldn't send LG with boyfriend in case he wasn't safe, we could keep him but if Mom is too drunk to talk, she's too drunk to come get him...we were stuck...boyfriend told us that the police station knew the story and knew him and would verify that LG could go with him...we called the police. They told us LG was ok to go with boyfriend...but by then boyfriend asked us to keep LG while he went and picked up Mom from the problem. Boyfriend got Mom settled in and came to go LG, no problem. Then the cops showed up...making reports...why? We just wanted to know if we could send LG with boyfriend. After that LG continued to play with the boys, was nice enough, never caused too much fuss...he did push Ethan into the street and threw rocks at his face but whatever, when you aren't taught not to, you can't know not to...but after that LG disappeared...we figured Mom and boyfriend broke up. Then school started...and there was LG in Ethan's class. Turns out he had been removed, he was living with Grandma over near the school...we only know that because he rides his bike to school (one mile through town from where we live)...things calmed down for awhile...then one day LG showed up on his bike...alone. No one was at Mom's he left.
Fast forward to last week. We were at Walmart (Todd, the boys and myself), when we ran into LG...I asked how he was and if he was hanging out at the Walmart alone (kidding of course) but he didn't answer, looked uncomfortable and walked away. So I asked Todd to keep an eye on him...he was alone...he rode his bike...5 miles to Walmart. ugh! The police were called again. I am the bad guy in this little boys life.
And then last night...he was trick or treating. Alone. So sad. I want to cry for him. I want to bring him home with me. I could love him. But so could countless other families. He's sweet, quiet, a little rough around the edges. I know his Mom loves's just not enough and CPS is failing him! Why is a 6 year old left to his own devices? This is how kids are abducted, molested, killed. What do I do for him!?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Sometimes I'm Sappy

The last 4 years have been...hard. Impossible. Tragic. This week marks the anniversary of when we changed, our life changed, our family, our perspective, our relationship with all began 4 years ago this week. Lane Michael was diagnosed with diabetes. I can't imagine what life would be like without diabetes. Everything would be different. I can think of so many things...but it started the spiral to rock bottom. I was 6 months pregnant when he was diagnosed, 3 months later Braden died. 2 months later my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. Then they found what they believed to be tumors on my thyroid, I had it removed. Then my Dad died. My family fell apart. My siblings and my husband and my Mom...we all fought. hard. It isn't a 4 years I'd ever want to repeat. I remember in our darkest moments feeling like I should move, I should place my family in a better place, even if it meant no family support system. Dark times people, very dark. Ryan is in the hospital...has been since Monday...there's a little guy in the special care room next to him. As Ryan and I were taking one of our many walks I saw Dr A....she was Lane Michael's endocrinologist when he was younger...we changed when he had a seizure and she told us to spank him because it must be a temper tantrum. I was never comfortable with her but that was our final straw. Anyway, I knew this little guy must have later that day when little guys Mom asked if Ryan has diabetes, I said no, but my 7 year old does...I told her how much easier it gets...turns out little guy has had diabetes since he was Ryan's age...14 months old...scary. sad. She looked and sounded exhausted...they had been on an insulin pump but something had gone awry and they were switching to shots, I told her how much Lane Michael is able to do for himself, how our daycare center gave him shots so that Todd and I could work. My heart broke for her, she was so scared of her own life that she wasn't living. I told her that if I tell Lane Michael how many units, he knows how to do the rest, he can be with friends and family (not often but some). During our conversation she told me that she had quit her job when little guy was diagnosed, and was thinking about going back to work when he starts school. Life changed in bigger ways for her than it did for me. I think talking helped her...I wish we had more time to talk, she was nice, and looked like she could use someone to talk about diabetes with...her husband was there and seemed very involved...I was glad to see him there!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Blissfully Boring

Knock on wood.
Life at Wiener Ranch has been blissfully boring and that's the way I like it! Of course there is always something going on with someone in my life so I won't say that life has been boring...but life in our house has been and that's always a blessing! Todd is still in school, the boys are loving this year and Ryan is getting bigger every I love these guys!

Todd dropped his chemistry class and changed majors...he has decided he wants to be a history teacher instead of a science teacher. Todd is currently a sophomore so they put him in a sophomore chemistry class...makes sense...except he had never taken a chemistry class. Ever. Not good. It was a good move and one we had wanted from the beginning, I'm glad he made it. Todd has been less stressed since making this change.

Ethan is doing really well. We love Mrs. G (this years teacher). She's wonderful and seems like a "free spirit" which is exactly what E needs! He loves her, never complains about school and doesn't even fight us about sitting down to do homework. She sees so much untapped potential in him and we love her for that, she also isn't fooled by his baby blues, we love her even more for that. It's a hard balance to keep with either don't mesh with Ethan or you love him and have a hard time seeing his ornery qualities for those sweet sweet baby blues...especially under that black mop of hair. man he's cute. He doesn't test well but I guarantee he knows the stuff, he does well one on one but can't focus long enough to be tested...we're working on it!

Lane Michael is doing really well. We talked to his teacher (love her) at the open house and the first thing she said to me is that Lane Michael is the most confident diabetic she's ever had. He's the first first grader to tell her when he needs to test, what to do about it and to not flip out over every high or low...he's a great example to the other diabetic and to the second grader! I'm so proud of him, he is so knowledgeable about his disease, takes it seriously but doesn't freak out. He researches it (as much as a first grader can) and listens every time anyone says anything about diabetes. He knows the risks and what can happen if he doesn't take care of himself. He's also taken quite the growth spurt (little bugger)....we bought new school jeans just before school started....he's too tall for all of them. He was a 6 a 7 slim (probably)...who knows at this point...I know he isn't a 6 regular...his doctor doesn't want him to be a slim...he doesn't have the body type for it...he should be a regular...

Ryan is doing well...his favorite toy is a long as it has toothpaste...weirdo! He also has mastered moving quickly and will dance when we walk in the door from school/work or whenever he's excited! It's like his own little happy dance funny! He can show you his mouth (and say mouth), he can point out our nose (when asked), can lift his foot when asked where his foot is and is working on belly! He cracks me up! He'd love to be able to communicate with us, he gets frustrated easily and knows that we should understand what he's saying, poor guy has no idea he's a baby LOL

I've been crazy busy at work and at home....our office moved a couple weeks ago and it has been crazy busy since then! CRAZY we love the new office but until we are fully functional it's been hectic and hard to keep up but once we're up and running 100% we'll be good! I've also lost a very mysterious 12 pounds...not sure how or why but you know, whatever, I'll take it!

We found pics of the boys first b-day...I'll post them later...we were so sick that I was sure there were no pictures, so happy to find them!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

It's finally hit home...

Tonight was parent teacher conferences. I'm Ethan's Room Mother (I get to do so much for Lane Michael and I'm involved in so much of his education and life in so many ways this was something I could do just for Ethan), So I was talking tonight with a teacher about the Harvest Party and asked for a date and if we would be dressing up...this year there will be no costumes...people can't afford costumes this year...I'm so sad. First of all, people think that a store bought costume is a necessity...have we lost the creativity to sew or make our own costumes? and before this the recession really hadn't come to our area...we have a lot of agriculture in our area...and those who aren't farmers, there are a few good factories around...but my point is that we've lost the ability to "step down" to make our children wear a homemade costume or something that isn't new...last year our children wore homemade costumes...not because we couldn't afford them but because they chose "make-able" costumes...Ethan was a pirate and Lane Michael was a vampire...easy to make, or use some items from around the house to create a great costume...I'm almost sure they had no idea that their costumes weren't store bought...they were just excited to dress up and trick or treat. I'm worried that people won't learn to have fun without money...learn to make their own costumes, camp in a tent, and enjoy sitting on the porch with the neighbors and a pitcher of lemonade. Sad.

Monday, October 4, 2010


Sunday's sermon was asking us to let go of the things in our life that control us. The things we put before God and before the life He wants for us. It got me thinking, what do I cling to? What holds me back? We all know that my big sin is gossip...I love it the way smokers love cigarettes, I love the bits of information I get from others, the look of shock on peoples faces when I tell them something they didn't know, putting the pieces of a puzzle together...I just love it, and then I hate it. I hate the effects of it on my life and in my relationships...exactly how smokers feel about the smell in their clothes, breath, homes...I hate when I'm "caught" gossiping...or when I'm disappointed because I couldn't keep the secret. I love it in the moment, and leave the conversation feeling had I hurt that person...gossip controls me. This is my struggle. I make excuses for myself "people shouldn't do gossip worthy stuff if they don't want me telling others" "well they know I can't keep a secret" "I'm telling others so they can pray for that person" but really, don't we all have something in our lives that's gossip worthy, do people know I can't keep a secret, and if I really thought someone needs prayers then why not just say "this family is in need of prayer" I'm such a work in process...I feel like a house that needs flipped, so many sins, so many habits to kick...right now I'm the boarded up, house down the street that people avoid, after all it's haunted...but someday, I want to be the mansion on the hill, and people will talk about the work that into me, and how far I've come. Someday.