Monday, April 25, 2011

Spring Fun!

Do you want the good or the bad? Let's end on a good note so I'll throw the bad right in the middle!

My brother has been offered a job in Arizona! WONDERFUL news! We're waiting very impatiently for him to accept the offer...which he hasn't done yet. We're nervous he won't take the job and then won't be offered the job he's "hoping" for! EEK! We're very excited though that he's been offered this job!

Todd's brother (Mike) over the weekend, went numb from the chest down. They were hoping his meds were causing it. They weren't. He wasn't numb but was in fact paralyzed. He's currently in emergency surgery. We are praying. Todd wants to be there (Missouri). I was hoping to go over Memorial Day weekend. I don't know if we can wait that long. Next week starts his finals...I don't want him to miss class right before finals...I don't know how he'll concentrate on finals with Mike so sick, so many states away!

Easter was wonderful! Everyone was in a great mood yesterday! No fighting or bickering...just good family fun! Kids had a great time...behavior was good. So all over it was a great day! A great weekend really!

Getting excited for our first ball game tomorrow night! Our team color is red! Woot Woot! And we are playing other it's kind of like a traveling team! I love it! I love baseball! It's my favorite sport by far! LOVE IT! I just hope the boys all love it as much as Todd and I do!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Now My Hearts In It

*Ever notice that I take forever to make a point or tell a story?*

Ethan is very street smart. He "gets" things that he just shouldn't get yet...He reads people well, and isn't phase easily. But then, there are times, he's so deeply sensitive...because he gets it, he gets the effect things will have on his/our life. When my Dad died, Lane Michael (who loved my Dad dearly) didn't really understand...or care. But Ethan...Ethan fell hard. Losing my Dad hurt him in big ways. He doesn't "appear" to be my sensitive boy...but he is. Lane Michael wears his heart on his never wonder what he's feeling. But Ethan bottles it up and finally when you least expect it, all these emotions come spilling out.

Last night I had an evening meeting for work and Todd had class, so before my meeting, I drove the boys out to the H farm so they could hang until Mom got off work. L fed them dinner and turned them out to run. Mom picked them up there and took them back to her house, she and Jack (her boyfriend) were just sitting down to dinner, Ethan walked right past them, grabbed himself a plate, walked back and stood behind Jack. "I'm ready to eat" he said. So Jack uncovered the food, cut off a quarter of his baked potato, and a third of his corn, gave him a brat and gave his plate back. Ethan then sat down next to Jack and began eating. He yammered on and on about how this was just like having Granpa back *grin* the whole time Jack is asking Ethan to pull his plate closer so he doesn't make a mess...of course Ethan can't hear him and just keeps talking. Pretty soon Lane Michael got himself a plate and joined them. He of course agreed that this was just like having Granpa back. Ryan talks about Jack often (without being prompted). This is a huge deal...he barely talks about anyone...but anytime someone is smoking on TV, he talks about Jack and Granma "moking". Todd and I love Jack...we love who Mom is with him. I have to say...I'd be sad if this doesn't work. very sad.

Todd and I have even talked about the very real possibility that Ryan (and even the twins maybe) will decide to call him Granpa...and we're ok with that.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Quick update

Ryan's obsession with smoking is reaching new heights...he now talks about Grandma and Jack smoking...he loves smoking (*moking) What will I do with this boy?

Ethan and Lane Michael are LOVING baseball! They're having a great time and learning so much!

Todd is done student teaching for now...he'll start back up in the fall.

At the egg hunt the other day, they opened the doors, his eyes lit up and immediately he "got it" He ran to the eggs and started gathering as many as he could throwing them at me and running for the next egg. After all the eggs were collected he was walking through the vestibule carrying an egg and someone said "Ryan, there's candy in there" without missing a beat he popped it open grabbed the candy, threw the egg and looked for the closest person to open his candy...that kid has quite the sweet tooth!

And this is my mole: (obviously blown up, poor quality, I know)

Monday, April 18, 2011


I live by my schedules. If it falls apart, I'm SOL. If it's not on my calendar, I'm sure to miss it. Every day I work from 8-4:30. Every Tuesday and Thursday Todd has class and gets home after bedtime(this is ball night - - practice and games always fall on Tuesday and Thursday). Wednesday and Sunday we have church. Saturday nights Todd DJs. We have very little "family" time. This will hopefully change after the first week of May when Todd's school schedule changes. Until then, Mom is having surgery, my biopsy, Easter, and the kids are out of school Thursday, Friday and Monday, I have board this week and an investments meeting. *phew* I feel good though, energy is up (no soda, turkey burgers and cabbage and I feel the difference). I refuse to say I live *and die* by my schedules...weird, I wouldn't have thought anything of it before.

Friday, April 15, 2011

I was avoiding blogging so I wouldn't be tempted to write this

I'm going through some things...I'm not sure if I'm ready for people to know. I've told my Mom (she'd be mad if I didn't) and I've told Todd (Lord only knows who those two told) and I slipped up and told Laura last night at ball practice. So since everyone is kind of ignoring it (on my request) but I have lots of feelings surrounding it, I figured I'd put it here. I am having a cancer biopsy done on May 3rd. Suspected melanoma. I have a large family history of cancer on my dad's side and have never been careful with my skin (and sun exposure). I was talking to the nurse to schedule my appointment and I said "well I have to come back in 8 weeks for my thyroid stuff to be adjusted so we'll just do it then?" and Dr. F looked at me with disgust "that can't wait 8 shouldn't have waited the one year plus it's been sitting there" Maybe I'll post pics later but it's kind of strange looking. It's small (that's a plus) but the color and the edges look "suspicious". My first thought is "how will I work and receive treatments if it is melanoma?" I know there are bigger things to worry about but I am the bread winner for my family, Todd has to finish his degree...going back to driving full time is not an option. I also know to worry less, pray more. But I wouldn't call this's more like planning. I was at ball practice last night, chasing Ryan all over the Buckland Park...I don't want to be too tired, too weak, too sick to chase him. I will pray.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

You know what's fun about blogger?

There's this fun thing that allows me to see how people find me. Someone who knows me personnally has found me...own it. Who are ya? I have a pretty good guess... To clarify, someone is googling my name and diabetes or diabetes loss and my name. I know you're here, no offense but you don't count *grin* I'm not upset, I just thought it was fun!

LIfe is Good

We spent the weekend at the lake house with our good friends. I love them dearly. 7 boys in one house is a lot but it's also a lot of fun! We played at the park, ate too much, rode the boat around, looked at houses, and just had a great time! I see life long friendships/bonds forming...weekends like this are what I remember as a kid...weekends in lake houses with cousins, driving boats, playing in water much too cold to play in, changing clothes between cars, and then heading home for a bbq with more family. The bbq was wonderful! My brother and his family came, Aunt Theresa came, Jack (mom's friend) and his daughter and her kids came...everyone had a great time (at least we did). It wasn't tense (thank you Aunt Theresa for providing that comfortable buffer for us). The boys have baseball practice tonight...we're all stoked! Things in Urbana have calmed down. Since I don't know how much I have told on my blog, I'll back up. My brother bought this cool, very expensive assault rifle (I know I shared that much), a few weeks back (mid-March) he and some friends were out shooting it. He missed the back stop and hit a neighbors barn. The neighbor reported him...and pressed charges. It could have been worse, he could have hit someone or an animal. So the sheriff came and took all the guns out of the house. Then he called the gas company and threatened to shoot the half full gas tank if they didn't come pick it up. The gas company called to report him to the sheriff, and now there will be more charges. Things. Got. Ugly. At any rate, there will be more charges filed. I will that's all I can offer.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Waiting with Bated Breath.

My Mom called me, I missed the call but she left a message to call her immediately. Mom never leaves a message. Ever. I called her back. She is headed to Urbana. My sister in law called (she doesn't speak to us, so we know it's big). She said she needed Mom there, now. So Mom went. She cried, asked me to pray. So that is what we're doing. Praying. The single most repeated phrase in the Bible is "fear not"...I will admit, I'm scared. Scared for my Mom. My neices and nephews, my brothers soul, and even for my sister in law. I want to be there. I want to help. My presence will not help. So I will worry less, pray more and try to fear not.

Random Stuff...

I started a diet this week....I'm easing into it gradually instead of going cold turkey....making small changes instead of anything drastic that will discourage me and then I'd give up. Actually these changes have made life easier and have all but eliminated my heart burn! The first thing I changed was breakfast...I didn't used to eat anything but decided that my body needed that fuel first thing in the morning, so now I either eat oatmeal or drink a carnation instant breakfast. I did not and will not give up my morning coffee (that's just a terrible idea). Then lunches changed, I started instead of eating left overs or making sandwiches or eating fast food, I've started making turkey burgers and's so good! I don't put butter on the cabbage and it's SO good! Even Todd likes the turkey burgers and cabbage for lunch...with just the right spices they turn out wonderful! For supper (since we had already started eating dinners that were healthier and made with more whole foods) we eat whatever is on the menu for the night. I have stopped eating any carbs after 7 and have given up soda...all easy changes, since the only things I've changed are actually eating breakfast, not drinking soda and making a yummy lunch. I know it may not make a difference in my weight but maybe I'll feel better. Also we finished the hard wood floors in the dining room...they're GORGEOUS! Boys have their first baseball practice tonight...we're all SO excited! Todd's student teaching is going so well that when the teacher's kid was sick (2 days) this week, Todd has been able to step up and take charge of the classroom. His advisor has been really impressed with his confidence, style, and the way he relates to students. SO proud of that man! and finally. We may be in a bidding war for our house. There are 3 other people interested. It may go to foreclosure. I can't change how much money we'll have available for the bidding war. I can't change if our house is sold by then. I can't change what those other people have available to them. All I can do is trust in God's plan. EDITED TO ADD A RECIPE FOR TURKEY BURGERS: I use the ground turkey in the frozen meats (in the tube), 1 lb makes 4 burgers, 2 is more than enough for my lunch. so combine: 1 lb ground turkey 1/4 c. oats 1 egg salt and pepper cummin (1/2 tsp) (Mom likes coriander seed, I like cummin, either way they're yummy) drop 4 burgers on an already hot skillet (I use my electric skillet). Fry em up and eat. After the burgers are on the grill, cut the cabbage and throw in with some water, simmer, add salt to taste.

Friday, April 1, 2011

More Options...

How bad do we want it? We are faced with some very good options for the summer, but also face a summer of hard work. And when I say hard work, I mean hard core value the limited time we'll have together and sleep we'll get. Yesterday afternoon Todd met with his advisers to schedule his fall classes. What he discovered though is that he could go to school full time this summer. Nothing is set in stone because many of the classes are considered full (although they are online classes so he will probably be allowed in). We're still waiting to hear from the teachers but these are all online evening courses. Now Todd is going to school on his military benefits (he was injured in Iraq and these injuries would keep him from 1. continuing his military career 2. performing on the civilian side as a police officer) so they pay him a monthly "living expenses" check...that would mean he would be one semester closer to his degree. But it would mean he'd miss every single baseball game, he couldn't help coach this year. And we'd have to decide if he'd still drive this summer. If he drove and went to class, we'd be able to easily pay off the 4-wheeler and have a down payment saved for the new house and maybe even go on vacation. He also plans to DJ every Saturday night. We can do anything for 3 months...I know we could do it. But is Todd willing to...? It would mean a lot of changes, the boys would have to step it up with helping out and chores, we'd all be robbed of any kind of summer and I would solo parent 5 nights a week. We have some big decisions to make! And if we have to move in that time...well, then we're really up a creek! Did I mention, I travel for work 3 times this summer? Once in May, once in June and once in August...I see doors opening that makes all of this possible...the question is, how bad do we want it?