Thursday, July 21, 2011

Summer Fun!

Lane Michael and Ethan finished baseball 2nd place in the league! I'm so proud of them! Even at this age there is a draft so some coaches truly "stack" their teams and the team we were up against was stacked! They were excellent! All great ball players and our boys? The team that finished 3rd for the season, they gave them a run for their money! Our boys were younger and they were tired, it was their 4 straight night of ball but they played a good game and the ending score? 20 to 24. The other team won but they earned it.

And just 4 days after baseball ended, we started football! We didn't intend to play football this year. Wapak plays in a league that doesn't have a weight limit...our 50 and 60 pounders didn't stand a chance, but at one of the ball games a Dad was telling us about Uni football...boys over 125 lbs can't play, and they're first in the league for sportsmanship, they teach basics and fundamentals...everything we wanted in midget football. So this week has been filled with football camp....we've had SO much fun! Can't wait to see how they do at try outs next week!

Ryan is very nearly potty trained! He told me today that he needed his pants off so he could potty...and sure enough, he did! So proud! What a smart boy!

And finally, adoption. My family is perfect. I am busy and enjoying every minute with these kids. So why do I still feel the draw to adopt? Is it because no matter what there will always be this huge gaping whole in my family where Braden should be? That space will never be filled so will I continue to want more babies? Will I always feel the need to have more children? Because I don't want more kids...I want Braden back. ugh. I feel my heart being tugged but is it my own longing for B or is it God telling me my family isn't complete?

Monday, July 11, 2011

Random. Just...Random.

I don't want to be sad. I don't want to post about how I may have hurt one of my very best friends just by being cranky, she's a soft soul and bruises (emotionally) easily. I don't want to post about my Dad dying 3 years ago this week. Or Patrick dying this time last year. Or Jason dying this time last year. Or brother in law Mike dying last week. Or my Uncle Art dying this past weekend.

I want to post about birthday plans and baseball tournaments, about my fantastic family...about all the wonderful things going on in my life. But I feel obligated to not let this month pass without recognizing each of the people I've mentioned...each of the people I've lost. All of them wonderful people...loving men, who adored their children and whose children adored them. How losing each of them was hard but we hope to see each of them again in Glory. Whole, Healthy and Happy. And though we may miss them, they are no longer suffering. So I leave with this:

24“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

To say, God doesn't guarantee the storms won't come...just that he'll see us through them. We stand a chance...through Him.

Friday, July 1, 2011


I struggle with people being negative. I struggle with not telling people to soldier up or to get over it....when it seems trivial to me. I involuntarily judge others and what should be "hard" for them. I have this "friend" (really I knew him when we were kids and now as adults he is on my page), he constantly posts about the sh!tstorm that is his life. Except, he's healthy, his kids are healthy, he is an active part of their life, he is employed and has plenty of friends around him. So the only thing that isn't going well in his life...he isn't married or in a romantic relationship....I automatically go to "if I can survive everything I have endured in my adult life, then surely you can make an attempt to not be a complete drag" So now that I've started to tame my gossipping...maybe I should work on empathy...not judging what they should be able to pull through...but honestly as long as they're putting forth an effort to get through their rough patch, I don't mind it so much.