My Relationship with Christ

I'm judgemental. Imperfect. Sinner. I didn't know just how judgemental I was. But I am. I judge everyone. Good and Bad. I think that my way is the only way and if you aren't doing things my way then you must be wrong. Even more you must be a worse person than I...but I won't tell you that....no, I'll tell my friends. I'll gossip about it. I'll think terrible things to myself...awful superior things. Things that hurt God. I want to change. I want to love not to judge. I think my hypocrisy, my judgements hurt not only Jesus but also the image of a Christian. I want to live as Christ lived. Christ doesn't shun the GLBT community. He didn't whisper about them but knew their struggles and loves them. He doesn't look down on people who have/had abortions, but knows their pain...the pain of losing a child. Jesus certainly doesn't hate those who have divorced, cheated, hated. Jesus doesn't hate. The Bible says the word love more than any other word. It doesn't command judgement. It commands prayer. It commands praise, not gossip. Am I truly living as Christ lived...am I showing the best representation of God through my actions my words....do I love enough?

I don't feel that I'm a "religious" person and I'm not "spiritual" but I have a relationship with God, with Jesus and with the Holy Spirit. Each an individual relationship but all of them tied together as they are 3-in-1. I identify with each entity in very different ways. God is my Heavenly Father. My protector, head of the household, decision maker, master. I fear God....I fear seperation from God. My fear is more respect...as I fear or respect my earthly father. I love God, as my Father. Jesus I identify with as more human, but a perfect human...the words "what would Jesus do" are easier to answer because he had a chance to "do" here on earth. He experienced life as I experience life...temptation, pain, human feelings. Almost a brother...but so much more. He guides my actions. The Holy Spirit lives in me. A gardener, sculpting my heart, my soul to be the best I can.