Went to the Doctor...

I don't know anything more than what I knew before...they said to watch for spotting, cramping and pain...and to call back if anything feels bad...I feel fine physically...I'm tense from being....well, tense. They're running a serum test today (already done) and again in 48 hours to make sure the levels are still doubling...they also said it would give us a better estimate on when I'm due. They have my date as 8/25/09...I think I'm more like 8/30/09....who knows though! They're the doctors/medical professionals so I'll let them worry about that! Thanks for the prayers!

I fell on the ice...

I'm terrified. Please Pray.

Missouri was Fun...

We had a great time in Missouri, we got to spend plenty of time with the brothers that we like and everyone was pleasant and made a real effort at Christmas! Usually there is a fight or two when the whole family gets together but it went well, everyone was on their best behavior and it was natural good...not pushed or strained. We moved together like a family, we yelled and argued politics, football, the economy and health care! We all got to say what we wanted but since it was all at the same time, no one heard anyone else! It was funny! Todd and I brought home 8 of the most delicious pizzas from Imo's and can't wait to share them with the people who have never been lucky enough to partake! We're addicted and have considered having them shipped here....it's expensive but WAY worth it! Todd got to announce to his family that we're expecting and everyone was happy for us and offered MANY congratulations! I forget how much I like them when I don't see them....I like some of them. There are two couples in particular that I feel comfortable with...well, I'm really connected to one SIL and one brother...the brother in particular...he's easy to like and seems to go out of his way to get to know me...I require that from Todd's family because I'm leery of them but this brother, I like him...he's someone I would choose to communicate with...but he lives the furthest from us! His wife is sweet, she's quiet and timid, I like her. It seems to me that all of us SILs feel the same way about the rest of the family, and our DHs share our feelings....it works well.

While in St Louis, Todd took out some time to take me shopping, he took me to jewelry stores, if the baby is a girl, we'll get her a baby ring so we looked at those, but I may just ask for mine and hand it down to her. We also looked at new wedding sets because on our 10th anniversary we'll get new wedding sets...it was fun to look and play! Then he took me to Once Upon a Child, I got to look at baby stuff and baby clothes and I bought a few things (two pairs of pants and 3 shirts, all for $38) and I think I'll be looking for a local Once Upon a Child, the stuff there was so nice! We went thru Baby R Us and bought nothing but loved seeing all the baby stuff and looking at the things we still need.

Over all it was a great trip and a really good time with all three of the men in my life!

I didn't think this is how I'd feel...

I read a blog regularly about a young woman facing infertility. She finally (after many tries and even more tears) got pregnant with twins...she lost them at 20 weeks (approx.) and is now about 12 weeks pregnant. She wrote a very long heartfelt tear jerking post detailing the agony of being pregnant and not having the ability to attach to the baby, to feeling like a pregnancy no longer means a baby...I disagreed and stood fast on my "think positive" soap box, I was torn between praying for her to think positive and telling her to think positive. On Friday night I found out that I'm pregnant...I'm three weeks pregnant, and it doesn't feel real, I don't feel like there is automatically going to be a baby at the end of this 37 week adventure...but what I can do is fake it until I make it! So, the announcement is that I'm 3 weeks pregnant! We aren't waiting the 3 months to tell, we will celebrate this pregnancy and pray for this baby developing in my lower abdomen! I took two digital tests and they each took very little time to pop up in big bold capital letters PREGNANT! I'm excited and nervous and apprehensive...but mostly excited! We told my family over the phone Friday night as soon as we took the test and Todd announced it to his family on Saturday at the Christmas party! Everyone razzed him that we'd have twins, Todd got huffy about it (in a fun way) which made the jokes continue! It was funny! Actually most people I've talked to mention twins...thanks guys! LOL! Actually twins is not a bad thing. The only part we're sad about is that Dad didn't live to see him/her! We're not sure what we'll call baby until birth day when I find out the gender but rest assured I'll let you know as soon as we figure it out!

To Missouri We Go.

DH lived in Missouri before joining the service, that's where his parents and all of his siblings live. I never know how to feel about going to Missouri...DH does love his family, but we choose to keep a certain level of separation from them. He's protective of them but doesn't understand them. They're an interesting crew to say the least, but they're family. So I will take a Valium, drink a beer and pray for the best. Wish me luck folks, I'll be needing it!

I'm so lucky to be raising my son's best friend...

Last night as we were heading upstairs for bed:

Ethan: Mom, does Lane have to sleep with me tonight?

Me: No....Lane you have clean sheets right?

Lane: Yeah...

Ethan: *sniff*

Me: Ethan, do you want Lane to sleep in your bed?

Ethan: *sniff* yes

Lane: It's ok bludder, I'll sleep with you

Ethan: *grabs Lane for a hug* I love you

Lane: I love you too

I am so blessed to have witnessed this act of bludderly love!

One Payment at a Time...

Something that has always hurt me financially is my (or Todd's) lack of patience. I'm an inpatient person...it just so happens that Todd is more impatient, leaving me the option to blame him for our financial back slide. But the truth is, I am equally responsible. In the past things have always "fallen" into place for us financially. We were credit card debt free at one time and oh how sweet it was. But life happened and eventually we were right back where we started...in debt. In the past we have had a lump sum check of some kind come thru and pay off the debt we had been working on. Those lump sum checks were great and pulled us out of the pickle we were in. So this time, when we started trying to dig our way out of this debt, and there was no lump sum to pull us thru, it brought the reality of paying off debt crashing down around me. Paying off our debt can't be done over night, it's done one pay period at a time. One payment at a time and we just have to wait for our paychecks to come, and watch as we battle "periodic fees" and other ridiculous amounts being added to our debt! And I realized, I'm learning patience.