Wednesday, October 10, 2012

How Visits Affect our Life

Visits is by far the best and worst part of foster care. Sometimes from this end it seems like the cons outweigh the pros. I know that they are necessary, I wouldn't have it any other way. I want the girls to remain bonded to their mother, and I want them to get to see her, again I wouldn't want to change that. But visits are for so many reasons exhausting. First of all, twice every week we have to drive 20 minutes to visit, entertain ourselves for 2 hours and then drive another 20 minutes home, once we are home, Little Miss is usually fine but Girlfriend, oh what a hard night she has. Last night for instance she spent her entire evening laying on my chest whining while we played on the computer, watched TV, folded laundry or whatever it was we were trying to do. While cooking supper she either spent her time sitting at my feet whining or crying or she sat on a stool beside me holding my shirt....and if we weren't doing that, we were holding hands. Then at bedtime she is terrified and I spend probably 15 minutes reassuring her that we'll be there in the morning, that she will sleep in her bed and I will sleep in mine. When she finally drifts off to sleep, I tip toe out of her room, usually waking her and starting the process over. As if she isn't sad and miserable enough, she is still hurting/confused the next day while she acts out, becomes aggressive and still borderline clingy. None of this is meant as a complaint, I just feel so bad for Girlfriend, she's never her usual spunky, active confident self...and all of this was avoidable.


Sarah said...

Awww, my heart goes out to her. Does she enjoy the actual visit with her mom tho? Wow, that is just so sad.