Tuesday, December 17, 2013

First Weekend Visit and Challenges We Didn't Foresee

Weekend Visit: went well, we heard from Bio Dad once, got a random phone call about a small cough and Girlfriend not being on her med (doc took her off because she hadn't been wheezing and had really held her own without the med). We also got pictures of them attempting to visit Santa (he closed before they got through the line). The girls were happy to be home, Little Miss seems pretty excited to go again and is her normal happy go lucky self, hopping through life, letting very little phase her (she is our Ethan), Girlfriend (who is much more like Lane Michael) hasn't taken all this so lightly...she's been quiet, reserved, cuddly, clingy, scared, and sad. My once beautiful outgoing, confident, chatty, independent girl has very much become the same girl who came to live with us 18 months ago, reserved, scared, shy, quiet, (still beautiful) just scared...of everything...getting her shoes, going to bed, going potty...everything. I'm hoping this gets better since we're moving so slow with the transition. I'm just scared for her...that this will be harder to recover from since she's older and still has the scars from last time.

The Challenges we didn't see coming? The girls have made so many new school, at church and in our circle of friends...last night a friend of ours told her 3 children that the girls would be moving away...but see, these children have never known us without the girls...we have had the girls for the last year and a half...right after we joined our current church...where we met this couple. Their children had no idea that the girls are not our own. The decision to foster is something I will never regret...I refuse to regret our time with our girls....but I won't pretend that it has not had a negative impact on our children, our family and our friends. Saying good-bye to these amazing children, introducing a life style which we'd hoped to sheild our children from (drugs, abuse, prostitution, baby mama drama, dead beat dads - - please excuse my bluntness). I love these girls, and them coming into our lives has been such a blessing but the situation surrounding them is hard. My children are hurting, my friends are hurting, my family is hurting...and I've caused it. My choices have directly hurt the people I love.