Growing Apart...or Growing Up?

I don't know what to do with a relationship that I seem to be outgrowing. A relationship that was with my best friend. And now? we have very little in common. Conversations are short. Because we just don't live in the same world. Our peers are different. Are in a different place in life. We used to do everything together, now we barely see each other. In the beginning we could talk for hours, now neither of us have much to say. We might talk about how our day was, kids, family...? But there's no conversation. We just seem to have outgrown each other. Not for lack of love or trying. But in order to really salvage the relationship, we'd both have to make some major life changes. Changes I'm not willing to make right now. I am in a good place in my life and it obviously centers around my children and career. We just happen to be on different paths...I think we both notice the difference...I'm just the only one willing to admit it. I just don't know how to fix us.

This post actually describes several people in my life right now...and it's probably not you.

A Very Bad Weekend

I can’t even put into words how bad this weekend was. I could tell you all of the events of the weekend. But it won’t do the weekend justice. It was just bad. It started off ok, I took the afternoon off Friday to get a start on the house since we have a homevisit on Tuesday (today), so I cleaned our bedroom, sorted through winter and summer clothes for the kids, and got us packed up for the weekend.

This is where I’ll stop and tell the POTENTIAL plans for this weekend. We were supposed to meet my cousin in Lexington and hand off the kids to them, they’ll keep the kids for the weekend while we’re in training in Cinci.Then we’d meet back in Lexington and trade back.

That’s not what happened.

We got on the road late, about an hour late. Hit Dayton at 5 on Friday afternoon. Traffic. Hit Cincinnati and more traffic. Sat in a traffic jam for 45 minutes. At 7:45 we passed through Cincinnati (cousins had been in Lexington since 7 at this point). Realized Ryan had broken out in hives, stopped at Kroger to get Benadryl, called the sitter to see if he had gotten into anything that day. He had not.

Finally at 8:30, we traded off children, they headed to the Georgia line and we headed to the Ohio line. Finally got to our room at 11:30…and if we thought that was late….omg. My poor cousin (who should have gotten in at 1:30 finally got in at 6 am due to a traffic jam).

So Sunday at 4 pm, we headed back to Lexington…this time it was our turn to wait. And wait. And wait. There was a huge 6 car pile up, a very bad accident which closed the highway for 6 hours. At 12:30 my cousin and her husband arrived in Lexington. By then we knew it was too late for any of us to get back on the road so Todd rented a hotel room where we all crashed for a few hours. It was a long night. The next morning we all got up and headed home.

Please know I get just how lucky we all were this weekend. An hour or even a half hour difference and my kids could have been IN that accident, instead of in the traffic caused by the accident. I know just how blessed we are!

To add to the chaos, I had a miscarriage this weekend. Not that I wanted to be pregnant. Just a lot of stuff that goes along with that. I had a positive pregnancy test on Friday, and a negative test on Saturday.

Foster Training sessions in Cinci

Training last weekend was the same as it was last time.
Training last weekend was vastly different from the last time we went through it.
The difference?
Was in the trainer.
Is in us.
We are on a different journey.
This is not a means to an end.
Our hearts have been transformed.
We, of course, don’t want to say good-bye to the children we will undoubtedly love.
We don’t want our children’s hearts to be broken.
But as a mother, I can’t imagine not being with my children.
Not seeing them daily.
Hearing the giggles.
Watching them learn.
Helping them grow.
So the difference?
The difference is in us.

My Patchwork Family

I have a very dear friend whom I love dearly.
She and I are always out and about with our brood in tow (7 boys total all between the ages of 2 and 9 years old).
That many boys begs a lot of questions, usually start with how many, what ages and then always without fail "who belongs to who?"
Which usually is promply answered by my dear friend who says "the 4 that look like me, are mine"
And I silently think "I have the patchwork kids".
My children may not look alike, act alike, and although no one would look at a picture of my kids and say "no denying whose kids those are" they compliment each other beautifully.
Ethan with is black hair, blue eyes, quick whit and servants heart.
Lane Michael with his brown hair, brown eyes, sensitive soul and heart on his sleeve.
Ryan with his blonde hair, blue eyes, strong-will and beautiful spirit.
Each so different, so independent from one another, unique.
Sewn together beautifully when God himself formed our family.
I love that my dear friend can say that her children are all replicas of her, I used to envy her that.
Now I enjoy my patchwork family.

Wanting to re-do my bathrooms (basement and upstairs)

I have a decent sized bathroom upstairs (our only bathrooms are upstairs and in the basement). In the bathroom upstairs we currently have wall paper...it's a busy wallpaper...not my favorite and it's everything. Including the ceiling. yah. yuck. But the bathroom has tons of potential! It has a beautiful wood surround on the tub and just really pretty wood work. the mirror is large with wood surround and opens up. So whatever I do with the bathroom, it has to go well with a dark wood; which does kind of limit my options a little (especially since I'm not willing to paint any of the wood). So here are some things I took from P*interest that I'm liking and thinking for the upstairs bathroom:

I love this color, but would want to change out my light fixtures.

I don't know that this color would go as well with the dark wood but love it.


This bathroom will never happen but if I could have my dream bathroom,
I imagineit might look something like this. swoon!

This is most likely what I'll end up doing in my bathroom.

Something mutedbut with a pop of color!

Look at that light fixture!

and this is what I'll be doing to the basement bathroom.

I've already decided!

The basement bathroom is also wall papered (ceiling and all - weird) so I'll also be changing that up a bit but I think this would be fast, and inexpensive! and VERY pretty! I think my husband (hint hint hunny) could even take these very cook barefoot/sand/beach pictures for me this summer at the beach when he does the (hint hint hunny) pics I've been waiting for (the ones for the back porch). A can of primer and a can of this color and the painting is done...now to find the time!

Raising Brothers

Last night, I had the pleasure of witnessing one of my favorite things about brothers. Lane Michael was walking a few feet in front of us, he was unhappy because we had once again had to remind him that not every conversation (this one about downs syndrome) was about him. Ethan caught up to him and put his hand on Lane's back and was whispering something in his ear, I could hear him enough to know it was rapping/singing and occasionally Lane Michael would laugh at whatever Ethan had said. They walked like this for nearly a block before they saw Schneiders Market and took of running/racing to pick their treat for the night. such a special moment in their life, and I got to observe it.

Philosophy Part 5

When and how to discipline:

So that everyone knows what to expect, our family has set up a few basic rules

1. Do as you’re told, the first time you’re told
2. Clean up after yourself
3. Respect yourself and others
4. Hands to yourself
5. Act lovingly
6. No talking back or lying

If it doesn’t fall under one of these 6 categories, it’s not a punishable offense.

For discipline, we use as many natural consequences as possible. We also use a 3 strike system, after being told,
Strike 1 warning
Strike 2 lose a privilege for a day or more
Strike 3 black out

Blackout is a system used in severe cases (we have only used this technique twice). In short, all privileges are temporarily revoked, leaving the child with books, and basic clothing, the child looses screen time, toys and free time until amends have been made.