CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I am...

I am a lot of things to a lot of people and lately I am dropping the ball...I haven't been a good friend lately, I have dropped the ball at work (or come close to it) a few times over the last two months, I don't have a handle on my childrens school work and activites and I feel very out of control. Todd has been working very hard lately at trying to help...the only problem is that his "help" slows down my progress and sets my evenings back...he'll "help" with something but doesn't have time to finish it...for example, he has been getting home earlier, so he gets the mail...but he doesn't pay the bills, he has lost two medical bills and one car payment...thanks for helping. Or he'll go through the boys bookbags with them...you know, to "help" but then he'll throw away letters about upcoming activities that the boys need to dress a certain way for, so the night before I'm scrambling to get things ready....or he'll "help" with supper but he'll use ingredients that I have slated for a different meal...meaning I have to either scratch that meal or purchase more of whatever was used....again, I know his intentions are in the right place, but sometimes it's just easier for me to do things myself....I love him and don't want to tell him any of this, and it's not just him, I was given an extra task at work, it's a one time thing but it's a big task and very hard work...it's setting me behind on everything else that are my primary responsibilities but until this extra job gets done my office looks horrible...and the thing about it is, it's something that would normally fall to a secretary...except we are without a secretary...our secretary is now our admin assistant...and hates to file....whatever, I'm almost done and then I can get back on track with the things I should be doing, the things I want to be doing...I'm off my game and it's frustrating.

4 comments:

Jessa Fee said...

Gosh, I have been feeling exactly like this! I wonder if it is something bigger that's going on? I don't know if you believe in astrology but maybe this is a weird time as far as the planets are concerned?! Certainly there is a lot going on in the world. When I compare my life to those of families in famine- and war-stricken countries I sure do feel better about my trivial problems. Which is not to say yours are trivial I just try to keep things in perspective.
Well, I mostly wanted to let you know-- in case you tried to read my blog-- that I had to remove you and some other friends because I signed a Notice of Confidentiality with our CPA (child protective agency) and I agreed to limit sharing of information about Baby Grrl's situation to FAMILY ONLY until after the TPR hearing. Apparently, cases have been lost over posts on MySpace, et cetera, so we can't be too careful. I plan on going public with the blog again when her parental rights are terminated, and I will beam you up then! Until then, I will follow your blog and keep you posted in my comments if that's okay. :>D

Lyn said...

I completely understand, you have to do what's best for the little ones! Cant wait till I'm allowed back in! I'm praying things move quickly for your family!

Sarah said...

You have to been a good friend. Everyone gets in a rut, trust me I've had more than my fair share of them. lol It'll get better soon.

Jessa Fee said...

Glad to see you got my comment! I have a short list of folks to notify when we know something, and I will definitely email you after the TPR hearing in March. The hearing has been scheduled for THREE days, so they are expecting it to either go to trial or be complicated with the six girls involved. Mu journals and I may be subpoenaed so I am glad no one knows about my blog. Although I think it wold show we love her very, very much and that I have agonized over losing her. Well, I hope you're feeling better about yourself. I can't help but imagine you're a great wife, mother and friend and just hard on yourself. Be gentle and take care of YOU.