Deciding What's Best

Everyone knows we moved to the country....but we still have our town house. and I've been really down lately about that house. Today I'm feeling much better and thinking more clearly. And I've come to the conclusion (for now) that we made a decision a year ago to do what WE FELT was best for our family. We over extended ourselves in so many aspects of our lives. We now have a feed bill nearing $200 a month, we pay 2 house payments, 2 sets of utilities, gas, supplies to fix up the Wapak house....we are so short on time, we spend so much time working in the Wapak house, and working with our animals, it leaves little time for down time, for relaxation, for...anything really. But we made what we thought was the best decision for our family and it's paying off. We're happy. We're active. Our kids are becoming the people we want them to be. There is nothing wrong with living in town, nothing wrong with town kids....it's simply not what we wanted for ours. So while we are SO thinly stretched, we're ok with it. God provides for our needs and so far it's working. I didn't know (since our renter isn't paying anything from rent to electric) where the money would come from to finish the house (her rent was what we were using to buy supplies for the house), well this morning I was reminded of the bags of concrete we need to return to the hardware store (left over from finishing the basement), we have the paint to finish the basement, all we need now is primer, ceiling pain, hall paint and new carpet on the stairs and upstairs hallway....things are really coming along!

COVERALL UPDATE POST

PIGS: the piglets are no longer piglets! They're HUGE! We are loving them! They're like puppies! Look how cute! This is Ethan with Bacon and Lane Michael with Gerdy! Now the downside to huge pigs is a HUGE feed bill! They are eating us out of house and home! The unfortunate part of that is that we'll have to slow their growth by feeding the fair pig oats in their feed, but the nice part is that this batch (the other 5) will be seperated out from the fair 4 and will be ready for butcher in probably June or July which is much faster than we had anticipated! But we're having SUCH a good time with them!

GARDEN STARTS:  The garden starts were probably started way too early! They're too bit and we had to move them out of their little pots and put them in cut off gallon milk jugs. I hope it gets and stays warm soon because they're simply too big to keep this up!!

Debt Free Progress: Epic FAIL! This summer will be better once we aren't paying for preschool but that's only a couple months! I'm really hoping the Wapak house sells quickly because maintaining 2 houses is killing us! We're making NO progress on becoming debt free but we are maintaining our current status so that's good but still frustrating. I know that our needs are met and even most of our wants...I think it's simply a level of comfort that a little cushion would provide.

Ethan has been slowly needing less of his meds, he's able to concentrate a little better and for longer periods of time, we are thinking of seeing a homeopath over the summer to see if she can't work with him. She said she would provide coping mechanisms for him to use, also foot and hand massage/stimulation, and a few techniques for him to practice and use. I'm putting some serious thought into it. He's started baseball and is LOVING it....he's really grown in his skill set this year, his batting is great, and seems to really enjoy it.

Lane Michael has been amazing with Ryan here lately, I think appreciating him more and just being kind and forgiving. Yesterday Ryan got left in the car with Lane Michael and me while Todd and Ethan went in to get a drink, Ryan suddenly decided he HAD to go in too so Lane Michael volunteered to take him and that's just one example, I'm amazed by the brother he is! He's also started baseball and while his hitting hasn't improved as much, his fielding has! Last night we were outside playing and he was throwing himself on the ground to stop the ball....which is a new skill for him.

Ryan is....God bless Ryan. He is funny, witty, sarcastic....on Easter Sunday we were all eating breakfast, he leaned over to his cousin Jack and said "come closer", so Jack leaned in. Ryan whispered (just loud enough for Jack and his mom to hear) "I watch you while you sleep", leaned back, took a bite, cocked one eye brow and just grinned at him. creepy little dude. He also told the whole school that the Easter bunny was just some guy in a suit. I am raising "that kid". Good news. He has little desire to hang out with the pigs, doesn't want to play baseball and is disgruntled by the disturbance it causes to his schedule. It's a good thing he's cute!

Moving On

This weekend we had the pleasure of having our girlies. Their Dad is moving to Indiana so it may have been our last visit. We had a great time. Got in lots of hugs, lots of kisses, lots of snuggles. They've changes, grown, matured...but they haven't changed really...they're personalities shine right through! Stubborn as the day is long! Beautiful inside and out! Saying good-bye was impossible. Girlfriend was...sad. Genuinely sad. Cried, clung to us, screamed for Daddy Todd, wept, clawed at the door. Agonizing. I don't know, going forward if a visit is a good idea for her...maybe out of sight out of mind? I don't know. I worry about them so much. I never want them to think we've "moved on" from them, but we are moving on from fostering. We're closing our home, I'm ready to get rid of baby gear....sell the crib, high chair, car seat, stroller, dresser and toddler beds. and I'm not sad about it...Fostering was good...it was everything I expected it to be, we had the dream situation...but nearly 2 years is too hard. so we're moving on.

Last Visit...Ever...?

Little Miss and Girlfriend are coming to visit this weekend. We were told (by someone other than their father) that he's moving to Indiana. Something about a support system and their older sister. I don't think the older sister being their should make a differnce...he has children here afterall...but my opinion of his moving does not matter to him...or anyone for that matter. We were glorified babysitters. The state, the agency, the caseworkers, the judges can't/won't recognize the bond formed in the nearly 2 years we raised them. They can't know the fundamental changes these babies made in our family! They don't see my children who still cry for the sisters. We weren't supposed to get attached afterall. We knew it was temporary. We knew what we were getting into, afterall. We don't stay in touch with their dad. We stay in touch with a friend of their mom's who gets to see them often. Any updates come through her, so those will stop. Good night I can't wait to see them!

Getting Excited and a Little Anxious!

Now that the basement at the Wapak house is starting to come together, we're starting to look at getting the house on the market...getting it on the market gets me excited about house hunting. The nice part about where we are currently, is that we don't have to move! We are not in a hurry to find a place, we have the luxury of staying and building up a savings (aka a down payment) But I'm just starting to get a little itchy to get it on the market. We still have to clean out the garage, clear out the back porch (which most of the stuff on the back porch is actually not ours but our renters so that will go when she goes), clear out the attic, and put the basement back together. It feels SO close! This week we'll start cleaning the basement and putting the bathroom down there back together, then we'll paint the walls, replace ceiling tiles, do a floor treatment, rebuild the basement steps, recarpet the basement steps, and the stairs to the 2nd floor as well as the upstairs hallway. So close I can almost taste it! I'm starting to look at comparable houses and what they're selling for so I can know what to put ours up for but I think we're going to have to ask a realtor and maybe an appraiser (lucky enough we're friends with a local appraiser who has offered to throw together some comps). We're so fortunate to have so much help from friends getting this done and ready!

Piglets

Look how cute! 9 new additions! 7 Hampshires and 2 Durocs!  

See that dark brown or red looking pig (actually there are 2 in this picture), those are the Durocs. My absolute favorite! 



And this is Pops, he's like a puppy! He follows Todd and won't let anyone else get close to him, very protective, playful and loving! Has more personality than most of the others, but is a boar (meaning soon he will have testosterone running through those viens...we'll get him cut before long though so hopefully he remains comfortable and friendly).

Pigs so far are a pretty low maintenance animal, soon we'll have to get the boys out working them every day (twice a day through the summer) so that come fair time, they'll be ready to stand for the judges. But as of right now, we have a watering system that while messy is low maintenance (fill it every couple days and they're good to go) and their feed is in a dispenser and they self feed out of that and we just fill that every few days.

We were able to weigh our pigs this last Saturday and there's a pretty big gap from top to bottom, we have a couple who are only 60 lbs or so all the way up to 105 lbs! The 2 fatties weighing in at 105 will go to butcher sooner rather than later...they go at about 250-280.