Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I don't feel any different...

When I was pregnant for Braden I wasn't worried, because pregnancy was a magical time where you were in this bubble of protection and nothing could harm you. When I was too early to show, we still had of them kicked me hard in the stomach. When I was about 5-6 mos pregnant my parents dog took my feet out from under me and I landed on the concrete HARD! But I didn't get checked, I didn't call the doctor...I don't know that I even told him at my next appointment. Maybe, but again, I don't this morning when I fell, I didn't want to be a bother to my Dr. so instead I called in some experts, and was told to call my Dr. Turns out, you should call for that kind of stuff. My back is starting to hurt but the thing is, I think I'm ok...I'm scared for my baby. Even if he/she doesn't have a heart beat yet, I'm scared for him/her. I love this baby and would walk thru fire to deliver a healthy baby.
The thing about pregnancy...theres nothing I can do. I have no control over what's happening in my lower abdomen. I can do things to help and I can things to hurt progress. I can take my vitamens, rest when I need to, and eat right...but falling on the ice is a split second game over. Then there are people who eat junk, smoke, drink and live dangerously and are handed a perfect 7 lbs 5 oz screaming bundle and never really appreciate what they have...but really do I appreciate what I have? Not the way I could...I have two little blessings at home and I know how blessed I am to have them but that doesn't mean I couldn't appreciate them more...Life is good, I feel blessed to be pregnant, if only for today.