Thursday, May 19, 2011

I am struggling.

I don't feel the connection with the people in my life that I'm used to. Things in my life are changing right now and somehow I've removed myself (or been removed) from the equation.

Todd and I are struggling to stay connected. I've found myself not fighting with him, instead, I don't care enough to fight any more. He's become aloof and complacent in our relationship. Neither of us is really at fault...more both of us are.

My Mom is seeing Jack and while I'm so happy for her and want this for her, it's been an adjustment. When she used to call me to tell me any news, she now talks to him. As it should be. I'm just still adjusting. We all are. I'm not hurt by this, I want this for her. It's just coming at the same time that I'm also not feeling connected to Todd.

My family in Tennessee are slowly pulling away...not intentionally but they have houses to build, they're busy. They aren't here as much and I can't be there right now.

Ryan has been sick for a couple of days...and only wants Daddy. I'm not his primary parent. It makes me sad.

Lane Michael and Ethan are never home, and when they are, they're outside on their bikes.

I'm feeling alone and to find the solution.


Sarah said...

It is sounding like we are in same stages in our life right now. It is a really hard time and a lot of struggling. I'm here to talk to if you need to. I understand what you are going thru. We can be each others support system, since we understand one anothers life at the moment. Hope it gets better soon!!!

Tammy said...

My sister-in-law and I have been talking about how we are feeling many of the things you are. (She lives 16 hours away.) Neither of us has close friends living nearby, and we both homeschool, so that adds a dimension of disconnect.

I don't have an answer, just a word of encouragement that while you feel alone, you're not "alone". :)

Keena said...

I can only say "Keep your eyes on Jesus". I will be praying for you!!