Monday, April 15, 2013

These Are the Days of Our Lives

Another blogger wrote this weekend about the chapters of her lives, if she were to write a book, what would be important enough to have it's own chapter. So as I started reflecting on my chapters I realized that most people my age are "settled" into their lives. Whatever that means for them....they know how many children they have or will have. They know where their life is headed, have plans and goals. I don't. It's hard to even budget because month to month I have no idea where we'll be. I'm trusting in the Lord to write the book for me. I mean obviously I can write a few chapters. I can write about my childhood, and the Army, about Braden dying and what it's like to bury your child, I can write about Lane Michael being diagnsed with Diabetes, Epilepsy, Hoshimotos, and Celiac disease. I can write about Ethan's ADD, and Ryan's potty mouth. But I still don't feel like I can write about my family and my life. We have no idea where this foster journey will take us, we have no idea how many children our family will have when we stop adding to it, we have NO idea what Todd's job opportunities will be or where that will lead him. And so instead of "These are the Days of Our Lives" all I can really write is "this is today in my life" because tomorrow things could be headed in a completely different direction. So many unknowns! The wonderful part about this, I can rest in the Lord knowing He has WRITTEN my book and knows what my next step is, knows my families future and loves us more than we can imagine and has plans for us. Plans of prosper and not of harm!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Big Life Changes

We almost have so much going on right in the next 2-3 months, I can't even process it all! The first BIG change is Todd's graduation, he graduates in EXACTLY one month! This means huge changes! It means the loss of his income, but it also means the girls and Ryan get to hang with him through the day. After graduation (sometime this summer) we are hoping to move to a different (very temporary) house, while living in this house we hope to get our house on the market and sell it. I love my home but I need my family outside of city limits...but I sure will miss my house. Soon after that the girls case goes back to court (I think they're just asking for a 6 month extension) which means they'll probably be here until next November and things will be reassessed at that time. At any rate...things are definitely changing!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Best Kind of Friends

Ethan and Lane Michael had a chance this weekend to spend the night with my Mom and Step Dad, it was good for them. They had a great time. They didn't have school Monday so they stayed over Sunday night and hung out there on Monday. So since Mom had an early meeting, the boys all got to hang with their Grandpa Jack for the day...but we couldn't possibly leave Grandpa Jack with no cigarettes and 3 little boys (my nephew was there too). So after Todd and I took our little 3 home for bed, Mom headed to town for some smokes. Ethan decided he should ride along. Some of the best talks are had in the car. They started talking about friends and who was Ethan's friends and who did Lane Michael hang out with. Then Mom asked Ethan if he and Lane Michael are friends and without missing a beat Ethan said "we're the best kind of friends, we're soul mates."

Tuesday, April 2, 2013


Sunday morning we woke the kids at 6 am, dressed them, did the girls hair, loaded our food and necessities of the day and headed out the door by 6:50 (just in time to be 5 minutes late to Sunrise Service). It was such a celebration of Christ's rising! and returned home well after dark, fell into our beds and slept. and in between sunrise and sunset? we played, we talked, we ate. we stopped shortly to talk about "the real meaning of Easter" to reflect on the "sacrifice Christ made for us" but I am feeling lately the weight of God's hand on my heart. The tightness in my chest, knowing there are changes I have to make in my family. The Easter Bunny, nothing malicious or mean. But Easter is such a Holy day...the bunny seems to take so much from the day. I have nothing against rabbits, they seem nice enough. kids seem to like them. soft fur. whatever. my hope isn't to offend anyone but more these are my own convictions and the way I see MY family going. I want my children to know not just the key phrases used on Easter but have a trued grasp of the magnitude of the situation and love and respect what Christ did for us. This HOLYday is more than enough without fouling it up with rabbits. Like I said, this isn't meant to hurt anyone or offend anyone, its just how I feel my heart being lead.