Monday, January 5, 2009

Two Years Ago My Angel Grew His Wings

I'm sad and I miss my baby. He isn't at the cemetery, so visiting him there does me no good. He's not there. So where do I go to be with him...I have a small Longaberger picture frame, it's beautiful and perfect, it holds all of our pictures of sweet Braden, his measuring tape (recording that he was 20" long), his bassinet ID tag and lock of hair...auburn hair....the hair I dreamed of...a lot! I always said that if Braden was a red head we'd have a full set....Lane had blond hair, Ethan had black and Braden red. A full set. We have a box in the basement, in that box are all of his possessions...the outfit he wore, his blanket more keepsakes from the hospital, the funeral and from family. The outfit has a spot of blood...that spot is so precious to me...I wish it was bigger...a badge of honor, he was real, he had blood, a heart, little hands and his Dad's mouth. How sweet that spot is. Yesterday as I looked thru the pictures I noticed something I had never noticed before. Braden had big feet. This boy my sweet baby had boats at the end of his legs. Maybe my sweet boy would have been tall. They were long and slender...he had big feet. It's a new fact about my baby, something I had never noticed, something that makes me happy...insight into who he would have been...he would have had auburn hair and big feet, maybe been tall.
Happy birthday Braden (1/3/07)


Sarah said...

You are right he isn't in the cemetary, but in Heaven and in your heart! You will always carry him in your heart!
Happy Birthday Braden!

Corrine said...

Braden is everywhere.
In every red head. In your husbands eyes. In your families hearts.
There is not one word that could come from my mouth that could do any good to you. Your sorrow is so deep.
I share that with you.
I have not hard to suffer through the death of my baby, and the thought is absolutely unimaginable to me. But i grieve your loss with you. And celebrate the day of his birth!