Going Camping

We are looking for someplace to go camping in July...but we're very picky! We have a list of requirements that this place has to meet before we'll agree to stay there! The list is as follows:
1. loads of fun
2. not too close to home (Lima, Ohio area)
3. not crowded (we don't do well with crowds)
4. not too camp-groundish
5. someplace to swim and fish
6. takes campers
7. allows fire rings

There's more...I'm sure, but this is what I can think of. We would like this camp-ground to be in one of the following states:
1. Indiana
2. Michigan
3. Ohio
4. Pennsalvania
5. Kentucky

This area...I think we should go to Missouri where Todd's Dad lives and camp in his woods...they have a HUGE pond in the middle of a large forest...but the drive is just too far!

Happy Fathers Day!!

I don't think I appreciate how lucky I am to have such an incredible man as the father to my children! We're spoiled (and yes we know it). Todd has made my job as Mom easier, he's loving and forgiving. He's grown to be this incredible Dad that has surprised us all with his perseverance and striking good looks. Todd grew up in Missouri with his Dad and Step-Mom and 4 brothers (part-time brothers). He was abandoned by his mother at 4 years old but luckily was give to his father. He lived with his Dad until he was 16, he left the farm then and moved to St. Louis. Todd moved in with some friends who were all bad influences but managed to get himself to church and school. He graduated when he was 20 years old...I'm so proud of him, even as a kid, he was a fighter and was determined to be successful. After graduation, Todd went into the Army, he served in Afganistan, Kuwait, Irag, South Carolina and Germany (I'm sure there are more that I can't remember right now). We met in Germany (his second tour and my first). I knew at first sight that I would marry him. He wasn't so sure...he dated my friend before realizing that we were better suited to each other...we married in Texas, where our twins were born. After Todd got out of the service he decided (with lots of pushing from me) that we should move to Ohio where we had a great support system. He started out a Drill Sergeant Dad and has become one of the best Dad's I know, we have great kids and I couldn't do this with out him. When Lane was diagnosed, Todd stayed in the hospital for the entire week, learning how to care for Lane's diabetes. It was a great learning and bonding experience for Todd and Lane. Those seven days allowed Todd to play a bigger part in Lane's care now...I don't know what I would do without him but I'm glad that he's my partner! We're best friends and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life goofing off with any one but him.

What is this feeling and where did it come from?

Most importantly...when will it go home? Lately I've been self-doubting and strange. I find myself wondering if I talked to Lane and Ethan like they were little boys for long enough! What a ridiculous thought...I wonder if we're doing the right thing by adopting instead of just having a bio child...or just being happy with the perfect children God has blessed us with...I wonder if I should make the changes I've been wanting to make (becoming a SAHM) or if I should just keep life the way it is...I just don't know. Why can't I just know the way life should be going...I really want to adopt but I'm also impatient...yes I know I should leave it at the feet of the Lord and yes I know that God is probably teaching me patience and of course our little girl will come in her time...but on the other hand....are we cheating ourselves by excluding boys from our search...or am I cheating Todd out of watching a babies first few months by not insisting on a little bitty (or having a bio) - he left for Iraq when the boys were two months old and saw them only during leave until he moved to Ohio when they were almost a year old...Todd missed 10 mos of the first year...is that fair to him. Is it fair to the boys to add to the family when we are so perfect...but I don't feel like we're complete...I'm ready to go home to cuddle a little bitty at the end of the day, I'm ready to clean up toys and kiss napping lips...I'm ready to rock a sleepy screaming baby to sleep and somewhere there is a little bitty screaming that needs rocking...but my county doesn't have any children coming into care (which thank God for no abuse in my county but the thing about abuse is that it will never fully go away)...our county has like two kids in care right now...seriously. 2. So there are homes that are full to capacity and beyond in other counties but here we sit waiting for our placement!

I just talked to a friend of mine who went through the classes with us and they just got their first placement last Friday! I'm so excited for them! They got two little girls (temporary care) who are 4 & 5 years old! It's nice to hear that we didn't sign up for a program that is going nowhere. That's how I was starting to feel but now I think it's just that we're picky...but it's ok because we're willing to wait for what we want! Phew...that phone call came just in time!!


PS My good friend Jesse just e-mailed me to let me know that she had Baby #2 on June 3rd, a healthy bouncing baby boy, Carter...everyone is doing well, Congrats Jesse!

Amazing...

Lane has a memory like an elephant...I'm pretty sure someday he'll reveal to me that he remembers his birth because Lord knows he remembers EVERYTHING else! Last winter he was talking about a scratch he got on his knee at Grandma Skaggs house when he was 18 mos old! Crazy good memory! But what I didn't expect was for Ethan to have such a good memory! Yesterday as I was laying on the couch, ready to vomit at the thought of anything scented (no I'm not pregnant) Ethan came to me and asked "where are those three boys we got from the church? Those brown kids? Like Nick?" (Nick is my VERY dark Caucasian nephew). I asked if he meant the African Orphans, and he said "yeah, those three boys" I told him that they went to stay with more families to show them what good singers the kids are. Ethan said that he missed them and would like to have them back. He even said one of them name...I said "Joseph, Ephraim" and he said "Edgar" he said he would like to have a big brother. What a cutie! I love my boys! They're sweet and smart...I am a lucky girl!

Gratitude...

My friend, Sarah (see link on right side) told me months ago that I could have first pick of her baby girl clothes before they went on her garage sale...I told her to price them and call me as soon as she was ready for me to go through them...she's 8 months pregnant (and looking fabulous) with a 2 year old to chase, and still took the time last night to sit with me while I went through all of her SUPER CUTE, WELL CARED FOR lil girl wardrobe...she had clothes with tags, most of it was Tommy, Ralph Lauren and a few other big names! These clothes are SUPER CUTE! So we spent two hours going through clothes...and I didn't even look at anything under 12 mos.!! So when we loaded the 5 boxes, the garbage bad, and the grocery sack of clothes, socks, shoes and tights into my van, I asked what I could pay her. She said that this is what she wanted to do for me...WOW!!! She's amazing!! We've been good friends for a long time and I hope she knows how much I appreciate her friendship and of course her generosity...she said that so much of it was given to her...but seriously she could have had a garage sale and just let me go through and buy the stuff but I of course prefer this route!! Thanks Sarah! By the way, Emma steals my heart every time I see her!

To Send Them or Not To Send Them...

I am a gut instinct kind of Mom...Every decision I've ever made regarding my children has been made on what I feel is right for them...I think I've used up my supply for the fiscal year already. We are debating on whether we should send our children to Kindergarten this year (they turned 5 in January) or to wait a year and send them at 6. I know that some teachers say to wait the extra year, but my DH wants to send them...I don't have an opinion yet. My gut is silent resting from all of the over-exhausting decisions it has obviously been making over the last 6 months or so. So, I come here today to do a Pro Con list...it's what I do when the gut is on strike. So here goes

PRO for sending them
they will stay with thier friends
they know the information needed for kindergarten
money (we spend a house payment on childcare each month)
they may do well and blossom
doctor says to send them
they want to go
Lane is bored out of his mind in pre-school
Diabetic Aide
Kindergarten teacher with diabetes
504 plan will protect Lane's best interest
DH wants them to go
school offers Transitional first if they can't make it
if they don't go and get held back a second time then they are two years behind thier age group

CON for sending them
they may fall on their faces and be held back (harder than holding back this year)
preschool teacher doesn't think they'll be able to keep up next year
Ethan won't sit still
Ethan is significantly smaller than the other kids in his class
they are immature for thier age
Lane's diabetes still causes melt downs (full out temper tantrums)

Ok, so in the end, my pros list outweighs my cons list...we have all summer to work with them and try to get this resolved...DH is pretty insistent on this and in the end he has final say so...I just want whatever's right for the boys...I just don't understand why I don't have a gut feeling for this!! I'm hoping that kindergarten round up will give us a better feel for what decision we will make...I'm hoping Todd will go with me that day...*sigh* I love being a Mommy and I'm usually very intune to my kids needs but I just can't get a read for this one...I'm sure when the time comes I'll know what to do...otherwise it's back to the Pro/Con list...

Vacation was AWESOME!!!

Ok, I will start with the bad news so that this post ends on a good note!

First we have my dad...the truly bad news. He was back in the hospital this week for treatment. He had two infections (UTI and staph - both pretty much cleared up), he had internal bleeding (we're working on this one), blood clots (will probably get worse) and to top it off they did a CT Scan on him and the results are in...it's bad. very very very bad. It's always bad but this time...it's bad. The doctor said that the cancer in his lungs has "profound growth" when talking about cancer profound growth are really bad words...really bad. They also found a mass surrounding his right kidney. He only has one kidney...once again, bad. So they are sending him home and we are going to can a turkey. He wants to teach me how to can before he dies, he wants to do pickles but we don't know that he'll live long enough for them to come in. My kids talk about my Dad in past tense. "He WAS a good Grandpa. He USED to play with me" "I miss him" It's very sad...yes I know they need counseling. I'm excited to can turkey this weekend...it should be fun.

The baby we applied for has been adopted. We were never told that she had a family in the works. I'm very happy for her, every baby deserves a forever home and she found hers. My husband is angry that they let us think we were actually in the running. But alas she is gone and we are out.

Ok, onto the wonderful week of family togetherness! We started the week with a parade (family tradition) It was a lot of fun! We left right after the parade for Port Clinton where there is an African Safari...the boys LOVED it! Then we went swimming for a couple of hours, had dinner and went to bed. On Tuesday, we got up, ate breakfast and headed to Cedar Point...it was great! The boys loved the Kiddie Coaster (FYI Cedar Point has the biggest Kiddie Coaster in the Nation!) They had lots for everyone to do and even though it was 50 degrees, we had a great time! Wednesday Todd went golfing and I took the boys to play at this huge McDonalds, swimming and to get hair cuts (half of our vacation pictures have boys with long hair and half have boys with SHORT hair). Thursday we headed back to Cedar Point, the lines were longer because the weather was better but we still only waited 45 min max for a ride...that's really short (2-3 hours normally). Friday we went to Kalahari Water Park and it was awesome! Ethan was an inch too short for some of the rides which made him really sad but we made due with the 5 that he could go on safely! I went down a big slide and yelled up that it was too fast and too dark...I went up the three flights of stairs and as I stepped on the top step Ethan went down, I went flying back down to catch him and by the time I got down there, he was headed back up to go again because it was "so freakin awesome!!" So summary of vacation, I learned that I have big boys that I don't give enough credit or freedom...they are WAY more capable than I ever expected! It makes me so proud and sad that they're growing into such good little gentlemen! We even had someone at the Japanese Steak House comment on how well behaved they were! I love it when people (other than me) realize how good they are! People see them as one person (because they are twins) so it feels like they are twice as ornery as they are, so when they're good, it makes me remember that individually they are really good kids!