Saturday, July 19, 2008

What a Week...

It has been the week from hell and I know that this would be impossible if my God wasn't so strong. I had an old co-worker say to me that she didn't understand how I could be so strong. That's easy. I don't have to be strong, God takes care of it for me. He has truly carried my family thru this. I have a great support system and everyone would truly like to help in any way they can...there isn't much to help with because it's all still so new but I'm sure eventually I'll be ready to deal with the crap that goes along with losing Daddy. One of the hardest parts has been watching his belongings belong to someone else! My DH is not ok, my kids aren't ok and I most certainly am not ok. But life will start fact it already has. I have Bible study tonight, we took the boys to the park and got ice cream last night, we played on the Church softball team on Sunday afternoon and on Wednesday night we'll go get Chinese food. These are our normal weekly activities. This is stuff we would do mom and I are hoping to someday be fun again. We realized this weekend how not fun we have become. I don't have the tolerance for people and I don't want to be around them. My brother sees a therapist and thinks I should do the same. First of all I wouldn't talk to them and second I have very limited time off, and with Lane Michael's appointments (seizure disorder and diabetes) I can't chance not having enough time off!! Todd and I are still talking about adoption/surrogate/family options and we have several options on the table but we want to get through all of this before we do anything else! I'll keep you posted as we decide...but Todd and I are also very spontaneous people, so we'll see how this goes!