Tuesday, July 1, 2008

In Case You Thought My Life Was Normal...

When I was growing up, my family was one of the VERY few that didn't consist of Mom Dad and 3.5 children. We had Mom, Dad, his three chilren, two ex-wives, Mom's ex-husband and the two of us. So the break down is like this:
Dad married Nancy, they had Gina and Amy. Gina grew up married a man who had two children and they had three. Amy grew up and because of her lifestyle choice, never had children, she's a professional student (has spent more time as a student than most retiring professors). Dad and Nancy divorced and Dad started seeing Barney (yes, I know how bad that name is - it's real, the family is crazy), they had Heather but because Barney was crazy, she ran off before Heather was born. Heather grew up and had Dameron and Dakota with Tony (he always has and always will love her), then she had Devon with JR (he's a big butt, and kept Devon so that he could spoil him rotten), then she had Sanoi with Pat, I don't know about you but I'm exhausted. After that Dad was engaged to Joy but the B!*@& took off with his Elvis scarf, never to be seen again. So there Dad sat with an engagement ring. So he gave it to my mom for Christmas as a freindship ring, when they got to Christmas with her family, my Aunt Landa had an engagement ring, so my Mom's ring turned into an engagement ring...that's how they got engaged. They had my brother Lou, who grew up, joined the Army, married Andrea, who had Dillon, Cody, and McKenzie and they then had Andrew, they don't live close so it's hard for us to have a good relationship, that and they make me nervous, so I stick my foot in my mouth. And then they had me (by mistake- Dad was laid off and they didn't have insurance). I grew up, joined the service and came home with twins. When my grandma found out I was pregnant she said "I wanted her to go and see the world and all of Europe and Germany, I just wanted her to do it with her clothes on" When I was born Gina was 18 yrs old, Amy was 16 yrs. old, Heather was 6 or 7 yrs old and Lou was 3 yrs. old. Wait it gets better. We all have birthdays within a month of each Dad is only good for one month out of the calendar year. This was a very expensive month for my parents for obvious reasons...and still is.

Our relationsips are strained to say the least. Gina and I used to get along and on the surface we do. She once said (and I think this sums up how she truly feels about us) "I love Laura, Louie and Lynne, I just wish they didn't exist" (Laura is my mom and Louie is my brother). This doesn't bother me at all. She can only feel about us the way she feels. When I needed her, she stepped up. I mean, really stepped up. She was there for me when I lost Braden, and knew what I was going through (she's lost 2 babies). She has a little guy who is just two years older than my boys and her oldest step-daughter is one year younger than I am and her oldest is 10 weeks older than my boys but we don't see them at all. Amy and I haven't really spoken since January 7, 2001. It was the day I left for Germany. That's it, she has no use for me. She came to Ohio once and I was there to see her, and she was watching a movie, I tried to talk to her and she asked if I could wait until the end of the movie. The next day they decided to have a siblings day and Lou, Gina and Amy spent the day together. I wasn't invited. Heather and I have an off and on relationship. We're here when she needs us, and I call her every once in awhile to see how they are. If we're together, we're a dangerous pair, love being together but have very little tolerance for the men in each others life and very little time to get together. Louie and I were the closest growing up and if his wife liked me, we would be closer now but I've said some stupid things and he's slightly selfish, so she doesn't really like me. I'm ok with that. Lou and I have recently started talking again and he's been great and selfless and this is huge progress for us. His little guy and Lane and Ethan are only five weeks apart and should have a lot of potential to be good friends. I don't know what will happen with our relationship in the coming months but we will always be ok. We may fight and we may ignore each other but we'll always be there for each other and I know that if I need him, he's there, ready to be my big brother!

I don't know how my siblings feel about each other or me but this is the break down of how I see our relationships. It's not ideal and it never will be. I will probably see very little of my sisters after my Dad passes but I love them for who they are and what they offer to the world.