Thursday, August 28, 2008

What I Fear Most...

When someday the food shortage and famine comes around, what will happen to my family. I can feed them, my husband can hunt and I can grow just about anything in a crunch, I chose not to this year but next year, I certainly will. But feeding my family doesn't scare me nearly as much as having diabetes supplies to keep Lane alive. Where will I get test strips and insulin? What about syringes? Before modern medicine, diabetics died. This isn't an all consuming fear that keeps me up at night and keeps me from living a normal life but it is what I pray about and plan for. Every time we get Lanes RX filled, I put some away so that "in case something were to happen" we would still have these things. But is it enough? Will I have enough insulin to get Lane through safely? How long would any devastation last? Will it ever happen? Do I worry for nothing? I know that God will take care of my children, I have no doubt about that...but it is my instinct, my job as Lane's mommy to worry. Are we so arrogent, so immature as to think that this couldn't happen to our country? Did we learn nothing from the Great Depression? In a situation like this, will money matter? Or wil it be obsolete compared to something to eat? Yes I am aware of the fact that I sound slightly crazy, I'm also aware of the fact that there is great suffering in this world, and my being an American doesn't make my family invinsible to that, nor does it sheild us from food shortages, famines and plagues.


Marthavmuffin said...

Im sure you have heard this, but from a fellow worryer I say "If you are going to worry why pray. If you are going to pray why worry?"

Also I am in a similar situation with the debt. I am trying to pay off the credit cards and the van (because the interest rate is higher than the cc debt) but it's hard.