Tuesday, August 5, 2008

It's My Blog and I Can Say What I Want

Disclaimer: If you know me and are reading this, you don't get an opinion or to tell another living soul about this...mainly because it has a lot to do with my weight...and you don't get to reassure me (in comments or IRL) unless I bring it up. If you can't follow rules, don't read on. That being said....

I am a big girl. I'm 6 foot tall and...round. Every once in a while I get to a size that I'm happy with...I'm 2 sizes from that right now...I look at pictures of myself and I'm astonished at the grotesqueness!! TRULY ASTONISHED! I blame my thyroid...and the fact that I love to cousin and I will be starting a new exercise program soon...I love to exercise, I love the way I feel but ever since my thyroid, it doesn't make any difference! I did tae bo for two months straight and it just made me tired. So will the exercise help at all?! Or will I be left this size (unacceptable) forever? I'm not sure what to do...I miss feeling husband is great about it and supports everything I do but I just can't seem to make anything move!! Diets don't work, unless I do it in an unhealthy manor...I had an eating disorder in high school and was teetering on having a problem...but my point is this, should I go ahead, have the baby and then lose the fat or lose the fat and start all over after baby or should I get into a good exercise routine, get my body used to it, and then start trying for baby and continue exercising all through the pregnancy? DING DING DING DING we have a winner!! I can't wait to start!! Do I split the difference and start trying for an August baby so that during my maternity leave, the boys will be in school so I can spend one on one time with the baby?I might talk to Todd about that....and in case anyone is wondering...yes we are normally fertile enough to plan when we want the baby! I need to see me endo...immediately!