Monday, April 7, 2008


I'm truly excited about the thought of being a stay at home mom! I love the idea, I will love staying home, I love making these changes in our life, and I just can't wait. I'm nervous about getting Lane's prescriptions paid for when I makes me nervous and anxious. I can't imagine leaving my position without this being why will NO ONE concrete this information for me!? It makes me doubt myself, my decision and our ability to make this change. What I don't doubt is the necessity for the change! Our social worker is looking into whether we can do this and still adopt...the adoption never was and never will be a deciding factor in whether or not I continue working...right now I have to focus on the children I have right now. I'm sick to my stomach over whether or not I can do this and keep our heads above water...I know that in the end it will all work out, if it hasn't worked out, then it's not the end, I also know that I will lay this at God's feet...let God take care of this...There is a verse that I love, it says that if God will take care of the birds of the sky, why would we wonder if God will take care of us...I'm a worrier by is what I do! I write lists and I lose sleep, I agonize and then when I have exhausted myself, my family and my husband, I leave it with God (yes I know this is not how God intended, I'm working on it). So, like every other time I need to let go of something, I will make a list of thing to occupy my time, and my energy...I will clean, and paint, take walks (this isn't a good solution because I think while I walk), I will really work at laying this down.


Sarah said...

Everything will work out! I was a complete stressed out freak when I quit too, but it'll work. You will find ways.