Monday, April 28, 2008

I just got word from my social worker that she will be contacting the babies county to get more information on her and then she will get back with me. She also said that she'll be working hard to get my license finished this week. I didn't mean to go behind her back when I put in the interest form on the baby but I think I soon as I did it, I e-mailed her to tell her what was going on, she's great and we love her, we would never do anything to make her angry but I still can't help thinking that I did...maybe she wasn't angry as much as caught off guard. I think she expected us to take, foster and someday adopt from Auglaize. It's kind of like, we have our foster license and she put so much work and effort into our case and we won't even be a fostering family. We're only in it for us. Someday we will foster...someday. Right now I want to raise my kids, and make sure they are well adjusted, happy, successful and healthy. I can only divide my time so many times before the kids are the ones suffering. So I guess what I'm saying is that I feel slightly guilty about wanting a baby that we won't have to work/wait for. If we get this baby, she will be with us soon...maybe within one month. But then surely there is a family out there that will get chosen over us. They are black, Mom a stay at home mom and Dad a doctor, or something equally as fabulous, they attend church, never drink, are both holding positions on the board of Christian Education and they would love her too. What a good family I have dreamt up. But the thing is...we want her too. Todd was hesitant at first, saying things like "are we just taking the first baby to come along" the answer is no, she meets EVERYTHING we put on our criteria. Then today he called just to see if we've heard anything about her. To ask if Summit had contacted us, or if our case worker called...his hopes are up, and I think we might be getting attached to the idea of a baby...that sounds silly, since we've been on the adopton path for 7 months now, but we're just getting to the point where it might be a reality...I'm scared.


Sarah said...

Wow, Lynne. I hope this one works out for you guys and what family could be better than you guys. You are a great mom and any baby would be more than blessed to have your family as her family!! I will keep you guys in my prayers!!