Friday, April 4, 2008

I know that goals are good...

I said in an earlier post that I have a few financial goals, one is to be debt free...I have been working on this faithfully, watching our spending, and looking for ways to cut back. We are getting there. But we also felt our lives being tugged another direction...something is missing. I have looked and re-looked at our finances from many angles...and no matter how I cut the pie the result is ALWAYS the same, half of my paycheck goes to pay someone else to watch my children! HALF people! HALF! I work 8-9 hours a day for someone else to raise my kids! I see my kids 3 hours a night THREE HOURS! This is ridiculous! But my husband didn't see it my way. He didn't see that my children spend 9 hours with some other woman, he doesn't see that our kids will spend every summer from here to an unforeseeable future date in a brick building...they won't spend the summers at the pool...I can't stand the thought. It hurts...I cry when I think of the childhood memories my kids will someday cherish! I was raised by a stay at home mom while dad worked long hours to make sure we were well cared for...the one thing I don't remember is the stuff. I don't remember wanting anything or needing anything! We had it all! What else could there be! It was fun...we didn't do much...flew kites and jumped on the trampoline...swam and set up home made slip and mom always taught Vacation Bible School and we always had a couple of cousins for the summer...but we did one or two trips to the zoo and one or two to Cedar Point...other than that we took walks and played in the yard...I was never was a great way to grow up and seriously I had a GREAT childhood! That is what I want! We'll go to the pool and the fair, we'll do play dates and maybe plant a garden...I'm excited about this...I will miss my job and my veterans. I will miss being a grown up...but right now I miss my kids! I want to quit my job and my husband said yes, so we will start looking at getting to a place where we can afford for me to stay home full's still up for negotiation but I'm sure this is what I want. I want to raise my kids!


Sarah said...

I hope everything works out so that you can stay at home!! You, me and Heather can all have playdates together. Who cares if the kids are all different ages, we will enjoy it!! lol