Monday, June 30, 2008

Adoption, Family and Fun...

Adoption: My family has been VERY supportive of our decision to adopt, since we first decided to start this journey 8 months ago. I truly appreciate their love, support and opinions. I feel that their opinions are valuable and should be taken into consideration when making decisions regarding my family. I have a few reasons for being what some would call a people-pleaser. The family members I talk to and consider are smart, they've been doing this a lot longer than I have and while every situation is different, they also have more experience with life in general. They love me and would only want what's best for me and my family. And combine that with their objectivity, they may be in a better position to see things more clearly. I see an empty nursery, lovingly painted pink, with a crib, clothes and a changing table. They see what chaos our life is in right now. I see my DH stand in the door of the nursery looking for a baby that may never come. They see the hardships we are welcoming. My grandma and aunt have both expressed concern about taking a child at this time. They aren't saying they think we should stop the adoption, they're telling me that they think we have too much on our plates and should consider putting the adoption on hold. My mom said that she would suggest actively looking and searching but not taking a baby who isn't very close to the guidelines we have set up. We know that there are some things we couldn't handle, or there is someone in the world more equipped to handle, so we would definately hold off ontaking a child with one of these problems. But I think I agree with my mom. But if it doesn't happen for awhile, I'm young, I'm 26 and have lots of good Mommy years ahead of me. I am missing not having a baby in the house but I also know that life is crazy right now. We're at the hospital 4 and 5 nights a week and still have LOTS of appointments to keep up with. Lane has his diabetic appointments to keep up with, we still need Ethan's final potassium test to have done, Todd and I both have surgery coming up soon (he's having wisdom teeth removed and I'm having some extensive dental work done - including wisdom teeth). So while we are still looking for a baby, we are not pushing the situation, and will pray long and hard before accepting a placement. But before all of that we know that God has a plan for us and I can't put my plan before God's!

This coming weekend, I will have a three day and Todd a four day weekend! We will be spending it at our friends lake house and it should be awesome! Aaron's family will spend the Fourth there and while I doubt my current social skills, I would like them to get to know my family, so I will try my best to hold conversations that don't include the words "death, funeral, hospital, colo-rectal, moron, idiot" or anything that may be construed as a racist comment! I ran into a high school friend's mom yesterday at the mall and as we were standing there she asked how everything was going and asked how the new baby was. I told her we didnt have a new baby, she said "yeah, you had a baby boy" I said "oh no I'm sorry, he died" she said " No, the new baby" I said "no he died" she said "no, the one after that" I said (maybe too loudly) "no really, he's dead." I got a few looks...I feel bad because I'm sure I would know if my child had died or not. So I tried to cover it with "we're trying to adopt, is that maybe what you were thinking about" But alas, she thinks I have a new baby boy at home. Maybe her son isn't the only crazy in that household. The situation was kind of comical!

While we were at the mall this weekend, we did get my funeral clothes so that I can concentrate on my mom and my children after my dad does pass. I got some beautiful clothes and I'm very excited to have new clothes and will be wearing them before the funeral so that I can wear them after without feeling like they are sacrid...they are beautiful clothes and I would like for them to be good for all occasions! I was especially excited by how slimming the clothes are! Yippee!! I got three new shirts with jewelry to DH was even supportive of the new clothes! Shopping is always better when it doesn't get my in trouble!