Sunday, February 10, 2008

Posing a question

At class yesterday we learned a lot about foster care. My husband and I have always said that I could never EVER give a baby or a child back to a home that doesn't deserve them...but being one that believes in stereotypes...I'm close minded and stubborn but I'm learning so much. So often these women aren't the enemy...they aren't bad people and often they're just parenting the way they were taught. So if they can learn to be good mommies why wouldn't I want her to often in these situations birth families can be the best place for these kids...if the parents can pull it together and learn new ways of coping! That being said, my heart will break for any child I'm forced to send home...We also heard a woman speak who had been in foster care as a child, aged out of the system and later became a successful woman with a good husband, and in the spirit of pay it forward, decided to be foster parents. Soon after they started they adopted their daughter, later they got the call that her bio sister was up for adoption and they were offered first chance to adopt her. Which poses the question. When we adopt our daughter...and later down the road she has a bio-sibling, what would we do...brothers and sisters belong together...I as a mother wouldn't want my children seperated...and she will be my child...I haven't spoken to my husband about this but there is the what if...and it's a big one. I know that every case is a case by case many times does a mommies time divide...there's always enough love but not always enough time. Lane has medical needs that can't be second many first priorities can there be. I know that families have multiple children with multiple medical needs but I work full time and I will always work full time...So the question again...what if our baby...our little girl has a brother or a sister...we would take twins and depending on the situation would consider an older sibling (not older than 2 or 3) but older...we love our children and want what is best for them it best to leave the added responsibilities and stresses of an added baby to someone who may not get the chance to parent that child...or any child for that matte...I know that I'm getting ahead of myself but we have to be prepared for the possibility of this happening! I wouldn't want my kids split up for any reason...but my kids aren't in care...but I want all the same things for my daughter that I want for my boys...I don't want her to be seperated from her siblings either...just posing a question!