Friday, February 8, 2008

What Led Us to Adopt...

Todd and I have two beautiful children...two boys, they're the light of my life and I don't know what I would do without them...they're my biological January, 2007 we lost our little Angel Baby Braden, in fall of 2007 I went to the doctor, where she discovered I have multiple thyroid November 2007 I had surgery on my thyroid, during which the doctor made the final decision (based on my wishes) that he would have to remove my entire thyroid (the thyroid gland was peppered with nodules - two being the size of bouncy balls). In December 2007 a young pregnant mother decided to give her daughter up for adoption. When Todd heard about this he set up a meeting with her (we had always talked about adopting), that night we met at the China Wok here in Wapak, we talked, asked questions, and bonded. That night I asked if she had chosen an agency to go through, she said that she didn't and wouldn't choose one until we made the decision if we wanted to adopt her baby. We hugged and went our seperate ways...I talked to her three weeks later, after I had secured us each a good lawyer, and looked into the financial side of things...she had signed up with an agency. After that, my husband and I decided to look into getting pregnant again. We read the books and looked at what the internet had to say...basically thyroid problems cause miscarriage, stillbirth and mental retardation...after losing Braden those weren't risks I was willing to take. So Todd and I talked again about adopting...we wanted to do what is best for our we also prayed about it...we got advice from our friends and family, we asked our pastor to pray for/with us and in the end we decided to adopt. I through myself into it. I researched all the different routes of adoption and all had great benefits, but only one seemed right for us. So I objectively laid it all out for Todd, I showed him all the risks, the costs and the benefits of International, Domestic and Foster Adoption. In the end, we both felt the same way...Foster/Adopt was for us. We started to process immediately and everything has gone so's a lot of work...more work than the other two routes because we not only meet all the same criteria but we also have to go to classes...but it doesn't cost as much. On a side note, I used to know a woman who couldn't tithe so she made up for it in time...she couldn't give monetarily but she could give of herself. We may not be able to pay the $40,000 (we have two kids in private school) but we can certainly give time. We may also wait a little longer to be matched and we still take the chance that we'll be one of the 30% of couples that will experience a failed adoption...but we're willing to take that chance because I truly believe that MY baby is worth waiting for and worth the heartache. She'll come home someday and when she does, I'll be waiting.

**disclaimer** please don't get me wrong, any adoption is a blessed union, international and domestic were just not for us. I whole heartedly support anyone who has decided to adopt for whatever reason and thru whatever means. I have had to defend our method of adoption to so many that I have had to become very defensive and blunt...I believe anyone who is adopting has a big heart with lots to offer, and that's what's important!